It's time to admit that I'm just not finishing this book. I made a great effort though, reaching pretty much 90%.It's time to admit that I'm just not finishing this book. I made a great effort though, reaching pretty much 90%....more
Scorched, the convoluted story about a girl who could start an apocalypse just by hatching a dragon. It’s a dragon apocalypse!
You know, I honestly donScorched, the convoluted story about a girl who could start an apocalypse just by hatching a dragon. It’s a dragon apocalypse!
You know, I honestly don’t know why I picked up this book from my ARC stacks. I just felt like dragons. But I probably should have guessed, based on the dragon coping a feel of the the girl on the cover there, that this book wouldn’t be for me. I stuck with it, though, and gave it a fair shot. All the way to page 136 when I had to stop for my sanity’s sake.
So the writing itself wasn’t the worst. I had no real problem with its descriptors or anything but the three main characters drove me completely up the wall.
The plot tried to pull this WHAT A TWIST style story structure. Trying to keep you guessing on who Trinity should trust. The clear answer being your friendly neighbourhood Spiderman and nobody else. Spiderman would have known what to do.
The most aggravating thing about this novel is that a few pages can’t go buy without Connor mooning over Trinity. Or Trinity mooning over Connor. Or Caleb mooning over Trinity. I didn’t get up to the part where Trinity moons over Caleb, but I’m pretty sure it would happen eventually. And when people were kissing only a few hours after meeting, I wanted to throw the book at the wall and sing I Feel Pretty to myself until the pain went away.
“She was beautiful, he thought. The history texts did not do her justice. Sure, she had the same tangles of black curls falling down her back in waves, the same delicate features. But no photo could capture her long lashes, sweeping across freckled cheeks, or the way her lower lip plumped as she frowned in her sleep. And they certainly couldn’t capture the fiery passion in her black eyes, illuminating the spark that was so strong within her.” And no photo could capture my pain at having to read this shite every time Connor or Caleb decided to go all star-eyed over the most specialist special girl who ever specialed. Because Trinity is the uberspecial. She kicks off the apocalypse, she has super powers, she’s bonding with a queen dragon, she’s gorgeous, she’s going to be world famous/infamous. Two uber hawties travelled back in time ala Terminator to save her.
Kill. Me. Now.
And can we talk about the use of the word Fleck? Instead of swearing in the book, Connor and Caleb use the word Fleck.
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Look, first of all, you’re a Young Adult novel. It’s okay to swear. Really. I give you permission to use the word fuck. And don’t try to tell me that it’s possible that 200 years in the future, people will have replaced fuck with fleck. It’s never going to happen. Fuck is a perfectly serviceable, good word that isn’t suddenly going to be replaced by some random reiteration of it within a few generations. It’s just… Stop it, okay? Just bloody swear because you’ve made me do enough of it already.
Basically, this book is a hot mess and I demand reimbursement for the pain it’s put me through. That or, I dunno, a puppy....more
If it were a city it would be Failinburg. If it were a WWII battle, it would be Failingrad. If this book were a movie, it would be MThis book is fail.
If it were a city it would be Failinburg. If it were a WWII battle, it would be Failingrad. If this book were a movie, it would be Million Dollar Failby. How much did this book fail thee? Let me count the ways. Oh no wait, I couldn't be bothered. I ain't bovvered. If this book were my Polish grandfather, its name would be Failinski. Yes, I have a Polish grandfather. He doesn't Failinski. He's awesome. Unlike this book, which sucks.
Which reminds me, If this book were royalty it would live in Suckingham Palace. You know what awards this book won other than NONE? The Man Sucker International Book Prize.
If you read this book for shits and giggles, you'd still be disappointed.
Okay, at page 156 this crossed over from boring to painful to read.
And it's not that I don't understand what the author is trying to do here. Low selOkay, at page 156 this crossed over from boring to painful to read.
And it's not that I don't understand what the author is trying to do here. Low self-esteem country girl, bully misogynistic husband, starting a new life and all that. It's probably mostly realistic. I've met enough couples like this - particularly country lads who couldn't wipe their asses without a woman around to help them with it. It's just that nothing happens. It's such a long, drawn out boring tale of lunch meeting after lunch meeting after coffee meet up and then a dinner meeting thrown in to round it off.
And whilst I understood why the main character was so painfully, ridiculously, annoyingly dumb, and even felt that her actions were in line with the character - this simply made that novel horrible to read.
But I'm nothing, if not, all about the edumacation, folks. So I'm going to provide a list of things to do, that this character definitely should have done, in case you ever find yourself in a similar situation.
Things you should do if you're leaving your partner:
1. Make copies of all financial papers. Bank statements, recent sales, deeds, debts, assets, superannuation details, payslips etc. (If you quit work to stay at home for your partner/family - remember to consider the superannuation that you've lost out on when calculating your financial worth.)
2. Seek legal advice. Make sure this lawyer or firm is not representing your partner. If you can't afford a lawyer and don't qualify for legal aid, investigate a mediator.
3. Make note of the date of separation.
4. Close any joint accounts.
5. Get your name off utilities as soon as you leave.
6. Don't sign anything without having it viewed by your lawyer.
7. Fuck everyone else. Seriously, just fuck them. Do what you need to do for yourself....more
I don’t read many books that I would rate 1 star these days. I seem to have mastered my preferences and hit a stride of excellent books – or at leI don’t read many books that I would rate 1 star these days. I seem to have mastered my preferences and hit a stride of excellent books – or at least mostly readable books.
Admittedly I only made it fifty-six pages into this book before I threw my hands up in disgust and tossed a pillow at the wall – so I suggest you take that into account when deciding whether to buy this book.
Why did I stop reading? First reason:
The death of a token character
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We didn’t know her long enough, but I’m pretty sure she could play base.
Right off a POC character is killed and whilst that would be annoying in its own right, since killing off POC characters is a frustrating cliche in books, TV shows and films, this was even more annoying. Firstly because her description was extremely stereotypical – to the point that she was less of a character and more of a caricature. Perhaps even worse and more degrading is that there was no real lament to her death. It was used as a story progression so that the male protagonist could wax lyrical about how beautiful and brave the female protagonist for trying to save the dying POC character. I kid you not. A girl is dying in a terrifying, violent, horrifying way and this is what he’s thinking:
“It’s just that… she doesn’t look as though she needs help. Her pale face is contorted with anger. Not fear. Not distress. Just fury. Her white hair floats like an aura, jerking in delayed reaction with each of her capable movements.”
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Like I said – a girl just died and he’s having a hard on for Emma. And even worse, we’re supposed to be having a hard on for how awesome Emma is. The text is all about Emma.
In fact, Chloe’s death seems to be nothing but an agent for making us sympathetic for Emma. It felt cheap and dirty. Sure, taking on a bullshark is a seriously awesome thing to do. Almost as awesome as that time I wrestled a crocodile. But let’s not get off track here. When sitting down and planning how to make a main character rock super hard, I could think of a hundred ways that didn’t involve creating a token character, immediately killing her off and then using that death to wank about how awesome the protagonist is.
I mean, first of all… gross from an imagery point of view. Second of all, holy flipping duck twat, Batman, way to be offensive!
Second reason:
The sexism.
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There’s nothing wrong with creating a sexist society. However, there is some responsibility when doing so. That the writing doesn’t actually support or romanticize or give tacit approval for the sexism is a good start. Of Poseidon features a heavily misogynistic mermaid society. And as such, the male characters act like a bunch of misogynistic dicks. Once again, completely understandable. But then it’s when everyone else just kind of goes along with that and doesn’t see a problem that my eye started to twitch. And then when some pretty outright paternalistic bullcrap takes place, I started seeing red. Like when a stalker mermaid arrives for a female character, Rayna. They are mated against her will and her refusal and hatred of him is treated as a comical device in the story – just her being a fickle and childish girl – not actually a woman rebelling against a system that doesn’t allow her to choose her mate or even requires her to be present for the ceremony. She’s angry at him because they were childhood friends and he’s always known that she never wanted to mate. He went behind her back, asked her Dad and organized for them to be mated. She’s pissed at him. Naturally. Personally, I would have seduced him out onto an isolated locale and impaled him on a rock. Rayna’s anger and hatred toward him is just laughed off by everyone. Including her brother.
Excuse me? EXCUSE ME!? What the ever loving fuck?! Oh, I see. Women in this world don’t know what they want until the smarter, better men come along and show them. Right. RIGHT.
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Then there’s Gallen who is just sexist plain and simple. He dismisses his sister, does not discuss the information he’s working on with her – but will with her mate – another man. I am told that he takes over Emma’s life and treats her much like a bit of baggage in the name of taking care of her. I didn’t see any progression toward a less sexist Galen having any kind of revelation that women weren’t all a bunch of objects to be ordered around like sheep.
You expect women to be unreasonable barnyard animals too busy masticating and going into heat to do any reasonable and logical thought, fine. But think like that and try to be a romantic interest in a YA novel I’m reading? No way. Sorry, Galen. You are the weakest link. Goodbye.
Third reason:
The writing.
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I truly disliked the writing. Not only was it incredibly telling and flat but the story also jumped awkwardly between the first person narrative for Emma and the third person narrative for Gallen. It did not feel polished or finished at all.
“Stop!” she yells.
Galen stops. But Emma’s not talking to him. She’s talking to the shark.
And the shark stops.
Emma wraps both arms around Chloe and hugs her to her chest, leaning her friend away from the attack. “You can’t have her! Leave her alone! Leave us both alone!”
The shark turns, saunters away as if sulking.
SHARKS CAN SAUNTER?! AND SULK!?
I know what she’s doing here and that’s being abrupt and edgy with a tense moment. But I just trip over those sentences every time I read them. And a lot of this book is like this. Part of me wants to take a red pen to it and just clean it up a bit. It’s not like Banks is necessarily a bad writer – but that her writing isn’t smooth. There’s no poetry or rhythm to it. Just these jarring, awkward sentences that hurt my brain.
Fourth reason:
The characterization
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“Hi! My name is River Swan Desmonda Sparkle-Eyes!”
Emma was, in my opinion, a Mary Sue – and that is a term I don’t use often. Basically, I felt she was an author insert. Rare compelling eyes, one of a kind in her species, ultra special, father AND friend died to create sympathy. Even Gallen, when not with Emma, only thinks about Emma. He can sense her on land when that’s supposed to be impossible. It’s always the same with Mary Sues. Impossibility surrounds them and they’re just so fucking SPESHAL while being the most boring, repetitive, inoffensive turds around. The problem with Mary Sues is that, if you’ve read one you’ve read them all and the only thing that separates them is the degree to exactly HOW speshul and ewnique they are. And the more Mary Suish they are, the more the other characters spend every fucking moment talking and thinking about Mary Sue – which as far as I could see, was exactly what happened in this book. The only character flaw the author has given her is that she’s clumsy. Clumsy is not a character flaw. I’m sorry, but it’s not. It’s a lazy way of trying to make a young, beautiful female character immediately adorable and relatable to an audience and writers do it all the time. Stop. Just stop it, okay?
Even if the story telling explains the clumsiness (she’s not meant to be on land – she’s meant to be in the water) it still makes for a weaker character. Because if you can’t bare to give your MC a more intense flaw than ‘clumsy’ then that becomes ALL you can say about her. “What’s Emma like?” “Oh, she’s just this really clumsy, insecure teenage girl.” Clumsy and insecure? No! Never. That only marginally ties her to like 95% of the YA MC population!
Basically, I can deal with bad writing – to a degree. And bad characterization – to a degree. And sexism – to a degree. But throw them all in with the death of a token character and smoosh it into a terrible mess? Then I can’t deal. Then I throw my hands up in disgust, delete the book off my ereader and try to scrub my bloody brain free....more
There are some things I saw done very well in Giarratano's new novel, Disharmony. Her first mark comes for characterization as she successfully buildsThere are some things I saw done very well in Giarratano's new novel, Disharmony. Her first mark comes for characterization as she successfully builds and maintains several very authentic, interesting voices. Each with a story that is a little like a crocheted doily in how the pattern touches at the right time in the right places. The second comes from the settings which are engaging and rich. It was like a breath of fresh air and I enjoyed the exposure to her take on the Roma families and the juvenile detention center - both of which were a very welcome break from the now very familiar middle American setting that many books take place in.
I should mention that the format that I read it in was different to how I receive most ARCs, making reading difficult and frustrating. It probably interfered somewhat with my ability to relate and engage with the story and contributed to me giving up and being unable to finish reading the novel.
Where the story fell apart for me was its painstakingly slow start. The story seems to feel no rush and rambles on, sometimes seemingly aimlessly. You can kind of excuse Bronte for taking more than three chapters to get to the point. The setup felt worth it for the creepy atmosphere. The waffling and slow beginning seemed to fit. But often, while reading Disharmony, I wondered what the actual point of several of the first chapters were. Certainly we were introduced to the characters and settings and early story - but the important parts seemed steeped in superfluous scenes that bogged down the story. Understandably, this could all be explained later and be a brilliant setup to a most amazing story - but if the audience stops caring and reading, is it worth it? I guess I'll never know....more
This is a DNF review. Which means everything should be taken with a grain of salt. However, Harlequin Teen was kind enough to provide this ARC to me aThis is a DNF review. Which means everything should be taken with a grain of salt. However, Harlequin Teen was kind enough to provide this ARC to me and I felt I should at least take the time to explain why I couldn't make it all the way through.
It had something to do with this: [image]
The writing made me go: [image]
The Characters were like: [image]
And I had to stop before I was driven to: [image]
Maybe I should have kept up with it, because most people seem to really enjoy this book. But I found the writing extremely telling. The main character, Samantha tells us a lot about herself in a very awkward manner rather than showing us who she is. Thus I had very little invested in either her or Bishop. Since I didn't connect to her, I found it hard to connect to the world and to, in turn, stay interested in the novel.
It was like one of those avalanches started by a single stone. I don't want to hear that you were acting out because of your parent's divorce so you tried shoplifting and, since that didn't work, making out with your crush was another option. It was very disingenuous to me as a character voice and I couldn't relate to how she expressed herself. Sure, the back story is there but the emotion is not. The frustration, the sense of helplessness and impotence, the uncontrollable urge to lash out - all of this was missing and replaced with a fairly lucid, detached personality reflecting on her state of being with all the emotional investment that I usually give to my breakfast cereal.
I would suggest this book for fans of City of Bones or Twilight - but I would also suggest reading the first chapter and half and deciding whether you bond with the protagonist and the writing style before purchasing.
I thought it was illegal to fail this hard without a permit.
I mean, if it were possible for a book to despise humanity and turn against people in genI thought it was illegal to fail this hard without a permit.
I mean, if it were possible for a book to despise humanity and turn against people in general, this would be its first step down the path to villainy.
This book is how they torture state secrets out of spies.
Reading this was like using a pineapple for a prostate exam.
In all honesty, it's not like there was a shortage of female protagonists who could charitably be described as useless, pathetic twats. I think Janie almost takes the cake as Queen of the Oxygen Thieves. I'd say she's more useless than someone who uses a Masterball on a Magikarp. She couldn't fight her way out of a paper bag if she had a map, GPS, and all her enemies were bunnies. Dead bunnies. If Kai wasn't there to wipe her ass for her, she stab herself with the toilet seat.
Her idea of a clever plan is to check both ways before getting stabbed with a knife.
I made it approximately halfway through the book in which she'd had about half a dozen fights with the supernatural. She didn't make it through a single one of them without Kai mysteriously showing up to rescue her. She's supposedly been trained since childhood for this position - presumably by the people who keep greenlighting Eddie Murphy movies, based entirely on the amount that Janie fails.
I guess what I was expecting was that someone who had spent years training as a feared warrior would be... competent? Able? Spend far less time on her ass watching other people do her job?
Kai was your requisite mysterious, dangerous, love interest. If you mistake him for a shadowy handpuppet reflection on your livingroom wall then you're not alone.
The writing is enough to make you weep with how disjointed, poorly structured and stagnant it is. The concept is convoluted and, frankly, laughably dumb. This is the cheesiest, silliest, worst homage to Buffy I've ever read. I had to check to see if it was trying to be ironic but, sadly, this was an honest attempt at story telling.
The only positive thing I have to say about this one?
I probably shouldn't have read this. If you read the pre-read section at the bottom of the review, you'll see that I didn't even intend to order it. YI probably shouldn't have read this. If you read the pre-read section at the bottom of the review, you'll see that I didn't even intend to order it. Yet, since I had it, I thought I'd give it a go.
I lasted 24 pages because that's all my sanity could take.
Laurel is a magazine-beautiful, waif-like teenager who leaves homeschooling in grade 10 in order to begin her high school career.
The comment could fly past as poor characterization and sloppy writing if it didn't go hand in hand with Laurel's horrible relationship with food. In fact, a great deal of emphasis is placed on what she eats. Once again, not entirely a problem except attention is also placed on how she feels when she eats. Which is guilty and "like a battle has been lost" when she eats half a pear and half a cup of juice.
[image] I know, Nickhun, I know.
The writing is just terrible and the characterization can't even be mentioned because I'm pretty sure Goodread's lax profanity rules would not cover what I would end up saying.
Mostly, it's all so very saccharine sweet and ickly chaste, yet oddly kinky and unbelievably tame. I feel like I'm describing Disneyland here, but if I do, that might make people think of fun. Notice I deliberately left fun off the list. But, luckily, there was comparable amounts of vomit.
Spoilers below, folks.
Apparently. APPARENTLY, Laurel is not actually a human, but a fairy. And the reason she is a vegan is because she is a plant. Like, as in, she is not a red blooded mammal but is an actual plant...
I'm sorry, I'm going to need a judge's ruling on that.
[image] Thank you. Steve Carell. I think you've said it all.
Look, you just. You don't do that. You just...don't. I mean, what school of biology did you go to? The Stephanie Meyer School of Biology, that's what!
I mean, and correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't 8th grade biology talk a lot about how plants photosynthesize to make energy and how they do respire but at night when there's no light and about how they don't have things like digestive systems and they don't have blood but, hey they do have Chloroplasts and Chlorophylls. And how they don't digest nutrients by eating them but by absorbing them through their roots. There just doesn't seem to be a lot of thought put into this.
I mean, look at organs like the brain. How does her brain work? They need A LOT Of protein. A huge amount actually. Which you can get by eating a healthy vegan diet, but she's not even doing that.
Scientists don't look at an ape-like creature and have this conversation:
"So, Doctor Rosenbaum, what do you think it is? Mammal? Reptile? Plant? Rock?" "I don't know. I just don't know. If only there was some way of determining these things! Look, just to be safe, put it down as a bird. Just because it doesn't fly - doesn't mean it can't!"
I used to think that the old troll argument of, "You're overthinking it! Stop thinking so much and you'll enjoy it!" was full of shit. But, in this case, they're right. My highly developed mammalian brain just can not handle this level of stupidity. But even if I could somehow switch it off. Well, there enough other bad stuff in here that would spoil it anyway.
I'm not entirely sure why I'm reading this. For some reason I thought there was some controversy over this author and that I'd barred it, but it's not on my Do Not Read shelf so I must have been mistaken.
I went to pick up books from the library this afternoon and it was among them. I don't clearly remember ordering it so I asked for the order date and went home to Mr. Kennedy. The conversation went something like this:
Me: "Hey honey, was I drinking heavily on the 15th of December?" Mr Kennedy: "Hmmm...the 15th was a Thursday. That's Corona day." Me: "Ugh. Okay, definitely drunk. That explains it." Mr Kennedy: "Let me guess, you found traffic cones and police hats again?" Me: *Thinks for a second* "That probably would have been the preferable outcome."
I have to be honest here, even though I consider KT Grant an excellent, wise and intelligent person. I just did not get into this book and subsequentlI have to be honest here, even though I consider KT Grant an excellent, wise and intelligent person. I just did not get into this book and subsequently couldn't finish it.
I think it shows the naughty-no-no skills she has though, in that whilst I don't butter my bread on the breasted side, I was still quite hot and flustered at the couple of sex scenes I read.
[image] I'm so sorry. I just had to use this GIF.
In all fairness, historical romance is NOT my genre. So if you want a sweet, easy read that doesn't tax the grey matter or force you to flex those intellectual muscles, then this is probably for you.
But I've never really gelled with the cheesy writing and story telling that comes along with romances - and KT Grant is ALL with the romancey language and cheesy storylines. It's MEANT to be cheesy and so when I burst out laughing a couple of times at the badness/laughable goodness, I had to wonder whether it was on purpose or not. I choose to believe it was.
I can't express the uncomfortable feelings I experienced. At one point cracking up and shaking my head at the bad writing, another moment hiding my iPad and blushing when my partner passed the room.
[image] Can he do this? Can he? Well... he tried, but it didn't work out so great...
I really still haven't explained to him why I made him wear the high heels and corset that night, but I'm sure it's not the craziest thing he's done.
So if you're into historical romances, maybe give it a try. It just wasn't my thing. At least, I keep telling myself that....more
I've heard it mentioned before that DNF(Did Not Finish)reviews were useless and self-indulgent. Why would someone want to read a review by someone whoI've heard it mentioned before that DNF(Did Not Finish)reviews were useless and self-indulgent. Why would someone want to read a review by someone who didn't even finish the book?
My answer to that?
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There's always going to be a small fraction of reviewers who don't connect with a book and can't finish it, but to dismiss all DNF reviews, I think, is problematic. Especially for an author.
Because it's not necessarily the reader's fault for not being able to connect to the book. Often there are rookie mistakes made in writing, plot or characterization that inhibits readers from investing in the story. Being able to hook a reader within the first couple of pages is an essential skill of any artisan storyteller and if you're having a lot of DNF reviews or simply bad reviews then they probably contain a goldmine in advice to help improve your range of skills.
I credit Revis with imagination and thoughtful plot. The language changes and mono-ethnic parts of this book showed the kind of forethought and deep, intensive investigation I generally like in an author.
My issues were that the writing is very vague and sloppy. One of the first events in the book, Elder attempting to save the ship, is vague in the writing which makes it difficult for readers to visualize the scene or get a handle on what's happening.
The characterization is equally nonplussed, taking quite a while to really root down. There is little incentive to connect with the characters or anything that makes them feel particularly vivid or well-constructed. It's basically one cardboard cutout after another, filled with overused archtypes.
By page seventy-five I knew who the antagonist is, which is bad storytelling. I even flipped to the end to double check and was able to easily verify that I was right because I had trouble believing that Revis had made it so obvious. Do not hang giant, obtrusive warning signs over your secret antagonist. Please.
Overall I couldn't bring myself to invest in the story and characters. This review may be useless or self-indulgent to some but I think reviewing even the first 125 pages of a book to give feedback is a higher compliment than if I'd ignored it entirely.
Author blurb for Jill Myles from the author profile for Jessica Clare: After devouring hundreds of paperback romances, mythology books, and archaeologiAuthor blurb for Jill Myles from the author profile for Jessica Clare: After devouring hundreds of paperback romances, mythology books, and archaeological tomes, she decided to write a few books of her own - stories with a wild adventure, sharp banter, and lots of super-sexy situations. She prefers her heroes alpha and half-dressed, her heroines witty, and she loves nothing more than watching them overcome adversity to fall into bed together.
If you are wondering why I'm quoting Myles' author blurb and why it exists on Jessica Clare's author profile and why it's applicable to a Jessica Sims' book then congratulations - it worked. It worked because for some reason I purchased this book and you might have too. I read the author bio for Jessica Sims which says some shit about owning cats and playing games. What it doesn't say is that Jessica Sims in a nom de plume for Jill Myles and so is Jessica Clare.
I feel absolutely cheated. I'd already read Gentlemen Prefer Succubi, and disliked this author's writing intensely. I never would have bought this book if I'd known that she wrote it. I don't know why three pen names are necessary in the same genre and why two of those pen names are even in the same subgenre!
It's enough to say that nothing about the writing has improved. At all. If anything, the characterization has degraded. The blurb might lead you to believe that the writing is full of intelligence and research. It might make you think that the dialogue is smart, witty and sharp. You might think that the romance heroes are sexy and the heroines are strong but funny. It's all a lie. One big fucking lie.
Once again the plot was pathetically simple and juvenile. I honestly feel that the writing is cheap and sloppy as hell.
And the characters.
Fuck my life.
There is nothing witty about them. Nothing. Bathsheba is a capitulating moron who has no sense - common or otherwise. Beau is an obsessive, controlling psychopath. From the moment he meets her he controls everything about her. Their first date is nothing but creepy, gross sexual innuendo. Just a few hours after meeting her he has drugged her and kidnapped her to his hotel (for her own safety, of course). Within days he's kidnapped her again and dragged her to a remote location where he puts her completely within his control. This doesn't stop. The entire book continues like this.
I'm sure some will dismiss this as a caring man, concerned about his woman and taking care of her. My response would be to tell them to go volunteer at a woman's shelter at some point because that's exactly where Bathsheba would wind up one day.
When is the picture of what's sexy and appropriate going to change? This is not sexy. Abusive isn't sexy and Beau shows ALL the signs of an abuser. Spend three months helping a woman escape her abusive, controlling husband and come back and tell me this shit is still okay. Hear her cry on the phone night after night while he's in the shower because she's terrified for her life but physically can't leave. She can't leave because he controls her money, so she has to secretly work over time and squirrel the money away. She can't just take her passport and banking stuff. No. She has to pretend to be clearing out the study and she has to secret her documents away. Spend THREE MONTHS storing things for a terrified woman who is agonizingly working, inch by inch for moving day. I can not express the amount of thought and planning that goes into those moving days. Some of them will haunt me forever.
When we all have to show up but can't park in front of the house in case he drives by so we end up carrying boxes two blocks away to where our cars are. Where we have to board her cat and secretly arrange a garage for her car to stay in and keep plane tickets hidden in her name. Live those three months with the knowledge that ONE WRONG SLIP and he'll track her down and beat the shit out of her, kill her or worse - force her back to him. Something forgotten at home meaning an early return, a call to work where a careless coworker reveals she didn't come in, him accidentally stumbling on a clue to her plans beforehand.
Do all this and then come back to me and tell me it's alright to write this kind of relationship. I don't think there's anything that's going to convince me that Beau's characterization was harmless and just a sexy break from reality. It's a fucking tragic reality for far too many women. And it isn't romantic.
Stephen Colbert is the highly entertaining comedian that has been mocking Republicans relentlessly at every turn. Not that they don't kind of take theStephen Colbert is the highly entertaining comedian that has been mocking Republicans relentlessly at every turn. Not that they don't kind of take themselves seriously and could sometimes benefit from a good mocking.
I can say this because I'm not a liberal either. I'm Australian. I have no vested interest in American politics. You know what I do have a vested interest in? Funny.
Now, I generally find John Stewart funnier and I appreciate Colbert's moronic, dead-pan Republican act. I just can't take it for too long because then my brain starts to hurt.
Which was probably my downfall in reading this book. Colbert obviously knew that the schtick was going to get old and so peppered the book with many, many amusing images and captions. As a writer and reviewer, I would never do this.
[image] Never!
I still struggled after a while. This book really belongs in the hands of a die-hard Liberal American. Those are going to be its readership because they're going to be the ones that enjoy every joke and twisted piece of logic.
As for me, meh. I agree with the sentiments but as long as no nukes get launched, I can't say that I care much what America does with its politics and therefor couldn't keep interested in the book....more
Chloe Neill, popular Paranormal Romance author of Chicagoland Vampires takes a stab at the Urban Fantasy YA genre in her new book, Hexbound.
[image] NeiChloe Neill, popular Paranormal Romance author of Chicagoland Vampires takes a stab at the Urban Fantasy YA genre in her new book, Hexbound.
[image] Neill demonstrates that stabbing isn't nearly as fun as it looks.
Hexbound is the story of sixteen year old Parker, who is sent to boarding school by her elusive and myterious parents. Her new friend, Scout, is kidnapped by Reapers, magic stealers, to have her soul sucked out until she dies. The Enclave, group of good magic users, refuses to rescue her so Parker must amass whatever friends will help in order to get her friend back. While partaking in the rescue effort, her own magical abilities are sparked by a mysterious Reaper, Sebastian, who saves her life.
Sound interesting? Intriguing? Yes, unfortunately you don't get to read that novel because the story actually starts a week later when Parker is doing her Trig homework and painting her nails. Okay, I lie, she wasn't painting her nails.
[image] But that might have been more interesting...
So Parker has rescued her best friend and they're doing the usual. Homework, classes, hanging out in dank tunnels hunting things. It's all very apathetic and you get the sense that if the story doesn't care, why should you?
Oh no! The rat people are advancing on us at a rate of two feet per minute! Whatever shall we do? Oh that's right, our magic. Done. Let's go get kebabs.
Oh no! The hobo vampires who live in the pedway and camp out in unused offices are going to suck us dry while they style their repetitive emo fringes! Whatever shall we do? Magic! That will solve our problems! Except where to get a kebab at this time of night...
Then comes the Reapers. You'd think things would get a little more interesting and tense when their arch nemesis show up because they can do magic too. After all, why shouldn't things get intense? They want to suck out your life source and kill you. They kidnap you guys for their sadistic magic addiction. So you'd think when Parker and Scout trap two of them as they're sneaking into the school to do something predictably nefarious, that shit would get real!
No.
The Reapers get bound by invisible ropes and dumped just outside the school. Parker doesn't even knock them out because then the slimy rat people might get them.
I'm sorry. What? What part of evildoers trying to kidnap you and steal your soul do you not comprehend? Understand, they're not after your school spirit here guys, though you'll be mistaken for thinking that when you meet them. You're not even going to take them back to basecamp and interrogate them for information? You're not going to inprison them to STOP them from killing OTHER people? You're just going to remind them that they're on your turf and move on with your life?
Okay, your decision. All I'm saying is that if some peeps show up in my home and I catch them with the intention to kill my family and I... Well, I'm probably going to do something about it.
So besides the fact that this novel is painfully boring and nonsensical, there is the problem with characterization. It would be unfair of me NOT to pull Neill up for basically copying Mallory from Chicagoland Vampires and making her into a teenage Scout. They're pretty much the same person.
Every single character in this book is a shallow two-dimensional walking plank.
The brat pack are evil bitches with no redeeming qualities. Scout and Parker are incredibly cool with ever ready quips and zingers as if they're reading from cue cards and everybody who isn't evil loves them or is obsessed with them. Actually, scratch that, everyone is obsessed with them.
It's all so sickeningly perfect and at the same time interminably dull.
[image] Pretty much exactly like this
Which pretty much sums up this entire book....more
My entire family drove to a place called Wagga Wagga on Saturday. For the first part of the trip I ditched my son with my husband and my brother in thMy entire family drove to a place called Wagga Wagga on Saturday. For the first part of the trip I ditched my son with my husband and my brother in their car and slept in the back of the car my parents were driving. Yes, for an hour I got to relive my childhood and have my parents all to myself stuck in the car with me so that they couldn't escape.
My dad passed over his iPad when I woke up and said he'd downloaded some books for me to read. It was either reading the first book of this series or the many, many Kathleen E. Woodiwiss novels, or Wilbur Smith novels.
Now this probably looks like my dad was being considerate and thought that since his daughter reads paranormal trash, that all paranormal trash is the same so he chose this series to download and decided to throw in some chic lit as well to keep me happy.
Actually, my dad loves romance novels and he has read all of this series and almost every Kathleen Woodiwiss novel there is. He's also read Twilight and the Sookie Stackhouse series! If that isn't scary then I don't know what is. (Okay, yes I do, my dad also does the best damn rendition of The Rocky Horror Show's I'm Just a Sweet Transvestite that I've ever heard. It makes me seek therapy every time he does it.)
So I started reading this one on his recommendation. I can't say I read it for long. It was pretty much like every other historical romance. You know, the hero is a cad, the heroine is a fiery minx with sweet eyes and creamy orbs for breats.
This one just had werewolves.
[image] They were just posing for a book cover, guys!...more
Kat Kennedy
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