my first foray into Benson since reading the Mapp & Lucia novels was... not so great? I get why this is a classic of the murder mystery genre, perhapsmy first foray into Benson since reading the Mapp & Lucia novels was... not so great? I get why this is a classic of the murder mystery genre, perhaps because it was one of the first, but also because the alternately dry & arch wit and the precision of the prose that would make the Mapp & Lucia books such a treat are both here, in full. unfortunately, the mystery itself is pallid and the main impression for me of the narrative was spinning wheels. Benson is an impudent fellow, and I love that about him, but this felt like more of an experiment than something he took seriously.
that said, one of the things that makes Benson special is his ability to get into the heads of monstrous characters and so making them, somehow, rather less monstrous and rather more comic. the villain of this novel, spry old attorney Mr. Taynton, is one such wonderfully monstrous creation. (and that was not a spoiler, it's clear what kind of person he is by the second chapter.) my God, all the damage & manipulation he cheerfully enacts, while still making sure both his ego and his optimistic nature remain fully intact. and still wishing the best for all of his victims, whose problems he really, really sympathizes with, despite being the person who actually created those problems. he slays....more
wow the villain in this one is something else. a cringing, submissive old man, always trying to do his kindly, helpful best for everyone, he's like Dowow the villain in this one is something else. a cringing, submissive old man, always trying to do his kindly, helpful best for everyone, he's like Dobby from the Harry Potter novels. he will literally have a heart attack if someone says something too upsetting. he plays the fucking flute! much like Dobby, I wanted to strangle him whenever he appeared. unlike Dobby, he's also a secretly conniving villain who has killed before and is planning to kill again. watch out for the overt do-gooders! they are probably up to no good. and they definitely have their eyes on jewel-encrusted chalices e.g. "The Luck of the Vails"
this is a very slow-burning suspense novel about an introverted young man who decides to come out of his shell and stop being such an asshole, and in short order finds a social life, loyal friends, and a lovely romantic partner. unfortunately he also finds an elderly uncle who comes to live in his mansion and has... certain plans for him.
I love E.F. Benson's writing in this one. elegant, often richly descriptive, full of arch dialogue, very literary (although "literary" in a particularly old-fashioned way, which will be off-putting to many modern readers). I know him mainly for his Mapp & Lucia novels - why does Mapp always come first? - and the wit in that series appears throughout this book, despite it also being an often tense thriller, of sorts. particularly in the wonderfully offhand and insulting way that the positive characters talk to each other. loved that, reminded me of the earlier years of my own social circle. and it was a good way to contrast the heroes from the villain, who is completely obsequious to everyone, which natually gets on their nerves. no one likes a flute-playing suck-up....more
Darlings, you simply must witness the Mayoral Melee in Tilling! Watch in delight as Rome burns and Co-Empresses Lucia and Mapp fiddle away. And with sDarlings, you simply must witness the Mayoral Melee in Tilling! Watch in delight as Rome burns and Co-Empresses Lucia and Mapp fiddle away. And with such zeal, such zest! This finale will be your final opportunity to enjoy these razor-witted human lawn darts in stiff competition against each other, and against the rest of Tilling, and against all notions of good sense and human decency. Yes, darlings, we have come to the end of Benson's Mapp & Lucia Saga!
E.F. Benson finishes his 6-book poison pen letter to English village life with a squeak and whimper rather than an unseemly roar. He presents to his devoted readers not a devastating conflagration but instead a colorful yet still deadly easy-bake oven. 'Tis sad but only fitting: the Mapp & Lucia novels, despite the perfection of a couple books and the near-perfection of three more, were always a minor affair. Brittle constructions. Dainty old knick-knacks arranged on an aunt's shelf that you may long to sweep aside and smash underfoot, but you know will eventually be packaged up carefully and perhaps sold at a public market, or stored in a dusty attic or damp basement. But don't smash those cherished antiques - they still retain value!
Benson was clearly, as the hoi polloi say, "over it" when he wrote this volume. Despite the potentially momentous tragicomedy of a duel between Queen and Queen, Mayor vs. Mayoress, he instead chose to ramble a bit and rework old bits, as if he were perhaps a bit bored with his monstrous adult-sized cabbage patch kids. His formerly comic confection Georgie - now the Mayoral Consort and still cutting a striking figure in a ruby-colored velvet suit - is less a figure of fun and more of an author stand-in. Poor Georgie is rather bored now of all of Lucia and Mapp's royal antics. Alas, boredom will strike us all at some point! Could it be the inevitable default and terminus of the human condition? We shudder and perhaps perish at the thought.
But darlings, I do hate to end on such a plaintive, pathos-ridden minor note myself. The book is still a worthy creation, a painless slip-n-slide that you can glide merrily upon while fully dressed. Even a Benson who is rather bored and at his most in need of a nap on the garden room chaise and then perhaps some light refreshment with friends after, is still a Benson who is a raconteur of the first form. Although the first five novels in the series can be enjoyed at any time and at any place and in any state of mind - as long as that mind is poisonous and petty, like mine - the sixth can be enjoyed as well. But perhaps it should be enjoyed after tossing back a generous flute of champagne. Better yet, the whole bottle. Why not? Everything is better with champagne! Indeed, these novels are the literary equivalent: fizzy and light, sparkling and fun, and an absolutely necessary dietary supplement for bored dilettantes, society climbers, gossipy matrons, provincial Karens, and every other sort of malicious, self-absorbed queen. Ah the pretty-ugly things. Lucia & Mapp are the queens of such queens!...more
Darlings, you simply must view the outrageous exhibition on display in Tilling! Art should of course both enlighten and revivify - but sometimes it muDarlings, you simply must view the outrageous exhibition on display in Tilling! Art should of course both enlighten and revivify - but sometimes it must shock as well! And this display will shock the bonnets right off of your heads! Who knew the charms of provincial life in a small town would be but pleasant cover for all of the bloodthirstiness, public humiliation, devious politicking, and cuttingly passive-aggressive "compliments" running rampant in this arena? The cozy cobbled lanes of Tilling run rosy-red, pink, and carnelian with the blood of these artistes at battle!
One might query: who are these terrifying gladiators, these untrammeled champions of village social life, social discourse, and social isolation, these artful artisans specializing in sneaky subterfuge and bold attack? Who are these exterminating angels on display?
And one would answer: the tableaux of course features the fearsomely repressive matron Mapp and that shining social light Lucia! Two portraits of animal cunning, claws long and teeth sharp, lips curled in deadly smiles!
This series recounts their overweening ambitions to dominate what constitutes the "high society" of various wee villages. This installment has expanded their fearful reach: now all of Tilling lies in harm's way - not just the crème de la crème! Mapp & Lucia trade blows (verbal) and homes (in need of redecorating), run for local council, generously donate (or comment acerbically on those donations), and invest their savings in the stock exchange - all in the public eye, with that public being the prize itself in their long games. Mapp & Lucia have, as they say, "leveled up" in their continuous Game of Queens.
But it is E.F. Benson himself that remains High Queen! His arch prose, his acidic wit and sadistic levity, his marvelously cruel and caustic portraits of egoism and "altruism" never fail to amuse those likewise cruel and caustic in nature. Namely, this reader. All Hail the Queen!...more
And by "fête" we mean slaughter, darlings! Indeed, things shall get bloDarlings, you simply must join us for...
AN ELIZABETHAN FÊTE AT TILLING VILLAGE!
And by "fête" we mean slaughter, darlings! Indeed, things shall get bloody, or at the very least, quite tense. Lips will be curled and stares will be cold and words will be delivered with a certain sardonic disdain - or perhaps a bright, cheerful condescension. Such things are par per il corso when it is Queen versus Queen!
Which Queen shall triumph? Shall it be the formidable Queen Elizabeth Mapp? She does have the home advantage. Her frugal and abstemious ways and means have commanded the upper classes of Tilling for who knows how long. They march in lockstep to her lovingly militaristic tunes, during bridge parties and afternoon teas and art openings; they are carefully watched, reviewed, and evaluated on a daily basis from her sitting room window. Bloody Liblib has successfully and brutally stamped out any hint of insurrection. All hail her dark and malevolent majesty!
Or shall it be that brilliant interloper, Queen Lucia Lucas? After holding her quaint village of Riseholme in thrall for who knows how long, she has grown bored and comes to Tilling for the summer... or perhaps longer? She will bring delightful dinner parties featuring Lobster à la Riseholme, generous deployment of la lingua italiana, heaps of Mozart duos on piano, and healthy bouts of calisthenics on that quaint cinder path - or in the kitchen when weather is inclement. Golden Lulu seeks to expand both minds and her personal empire. All hail her fair and benevolent majesty!
But perhaps it shall be Nature that triumphs? There is a tide...
No matter who shall prevail, in the end, the true winner is the reader! Benson pokes, pinches, smacks, slaps, and scours the idle somewhat-rich of Tilling Village and the results are as tart and tasty as a lemon bar. Surely it was a stroke of genius, or some such mind-state, to bring the two "heroines" of past novels together in this ferocious battle of will, clenched teeth, and frosty "compliments". Darlings, I was simply dying to see who shall rise and who shall fall in this deadly war. You simply must come to this delicious bloodbath!...more
We have a scintillating lineup of local dignitaries pitted one against the Darlings, you simply must join us for...
A BATTLE ROYALE AT TILLING VILLAGE!
We have a scintillating lineup of local dignitaries pitted one against the other, prepared for fierce battle through tea time and perhaps up until a light supper, served buffet style on the sideboard. The stakes are high: losers risk a decided loss of self-esteem, diminished social cachet, quickly extinguished laughter from clusters of villagers idling in front of the market, and a range of droll expressions made at their expense from their former peers; their servants will no doubt report a surprising absence of invitations to various select garden parties. Blood shall be spilt to avoid such catastrophic consequences; teeth shall be gnashed and the chilliest of smiles shall be frozen on our combatants' faces. It shall be an entrancing affair!
Our Players:
The formidable Miss Mapp versus the intrepid Godiva "Diva" Plaistow. Whose dress shall be the most au courant? Who shall best reconfigure those charming flowers cut from old draperies into pleasing bits of flair? Who shall become the bestest of friends with that visiting Contessa? Who shall capture the juiciest, most current morsel of gossip - to be shared confidentially with only the closest of acquaintances?
The redoubtable Major Flint versus the cunning Captain Puffin. 'Tis Army versus Navy on the golf links! Who shall be entitled to that extra bit of whiskey, and more to the point, whose turn is it to pay?
The fearsome Miss Mapp versus the forever-bantering tag-team duo of Flint and Puffin. Shall the eagle-eyed Miss Mapp catch them out during their secret late-night tippling by each other's fireside? Of even more importance: shall Mapp best puffin-shaped Puffin to capture the heart of flinty Flint?
The eccentric Quaint Irene versus The Moral Standards of Tilling Village as represented by the censorious Miss Mapp. Should, shall we say, "rather queer" eccentrics - no matter how wealthy - be allowed to paint their beloved, amply proportioned maid - au naturel? Let alone the local fish merchant! Quaint Irene's sharp talent at mimicry makes her a terrifying opponent.
The parsimonious Miss Mapp versus the pecunious Isabel Poppit. Shall brash newcomer Mrs. Poppit best her opponent using her carefully honed talents of having more money, more servants, and certainly a much larger home?
The Rubenesque Miss Mapp versus The Entire Village of Tilling. Shall the quite natural moral superiority of Mapp triumph over small-minded and lamentably nosy villagers who have certain questions concerning the hoarding of tinned food and coal, and who have certain feelings about the appropriate way to oh-so-casually greet a member of the Royal Family who may or may not be making a brief stop in Tilling? The odds are stacked against the Tillingites. As the song goes, "only the good die young"... and Miss Mapp is far from young. Place your bets wisely. Our money is on Mapp!...more
Darlings, you simply must visit London! The charmed village of Riseholme may be a country seat of unsurpassed delicacy and dignity when compared to thDarlings, you simply must visit London! The charmed village of Riseholme may be a country seat of unsurpassed delicacy and dignity when compared to the stridently au courant London Town of the 1920s... but with Riseholme's very own Queen Lucia spending her summer season at 25 Brompton Square, that notorious city of faddish layabouts has at last been given a sheen of class and taste. However temporarily that may be! For despite her quick accumulation of Lords and Duchesses and Rich London Eccentrics added to her table and parlour, surely her heart must still dwell within graceful Riseholme? Surely it must! It cannot be that the Empress of that delicious village, its doyenne of style, its mistress of manipulation, its swift trouncer of all rivals... couldn't be throwing over Riseholme in favour of the dubious pleasures and unusual smells of the former Londinium? Yes, it is true, we have all heard the rumours... she has remade herself, crimped her hair and shortened her skirt, all the better to keep up with those too-fashionable London wags and tarts... she has even acquired and deputized her own London version of Riseholme's precious Georgie - complete with Georgie's fluttering hands and his sailor's trousers and even his daring little cape - to be her own London lady-in-waiting. Poor, sweet Georgie - has he been supplanted? Has fair Riseholme itself been superseded? It cannot be! Well, as we sort out this dreadful mystery, at least we are still able to sit back and enjoy Lucia make short work of London's tarsome social mores and strictures. No one knows how to climb more swiftly than Lucia!
Dearest Lucia may be incorrigible when it comes to her forever-burning desire for social dominance, for recognition as the ultimo word on what is or is not in vogue, for all others to pay homage at the altar of High Culture that she has constructed... but all that said, Queen Lucia is certainly no common snob. What Lucia loves is Life Itself, in all of its quaint smallness and all of its grand largeness. Lucia equals Living! Her mind may be narrow but her appetite for life is wide and all-encompassing. Nothing is too small for Lucia to domineer over! Let us enjoy the spectacle of Lucia devouring whatever crosses her path.
So it is for both the residents of Riseholme and the crème de la crème of London. All must love Lucia, because she makes things so very interesting. And so it is for the readers of "Lucia in London"... Lucia and the world around her may be viewed with a certain sarcastic sharpness, an eyeroll or a snort or a disdainful curl of the lip at the ongoing misadventures of this exquisitely monstrous woman... but there must be a measure of generosity within that viewpoint as well. Or even admiration! E.F. Benson has a sure way with words, his prose dainty and his tone arch, his narrative one that parodies superficiality and upward mobility and the relentless chasing of fads and fashions, the entire endeavor a stiletto pricking the inflated egos and petty ambitions of the Riseholmites, his story even daring to pop the gaudy balloon of La Lucia herself... but Mr. Benson also adores her, and all of his creations. There may not be much of substance in these glorious human macaroons, but they are wonderfully delectable. Lucia most of all!
Darlings, you simply must visit Lucia in London. She's so frightfully picturesque!...more
Darlings, you simply must visit Riseholme. It's just the most precious 1920s English village that you ever could see. Delightful! Decadent! Devious! DDarlings, you simply must visit Riseholme. It's just the most precious 1920s English village that you ever could see. Delightful! Decadent! Devious! Demented! Delicious!
Riseholme is ruled by its very own doyenne of style and taste and class, one Emmeline Lucia Lucas. She utterly commands the village, an ever-benevolent dictator over all things that truly matter. Her right-hand "man" is Georgie, a bachelor of means and of a certain age, a faithful lieutenant whose extensive time spent in Lucia's home creates absolutely no tension whatsoever with Lucia's husband. Precious Georgie! With his embroidery and his watercolors and his lovely color-coordinated outfits and his cape - yes darlings, his cape! - and of course his monthly battles with hair-loss and graying. Fortunately he engages the services of hair dye and the comb-over, but shhh! We shall not speak of such things! Let us instead speak of more important matters, in quaint baby-talk or made-up "Italian" - much as Georgie and Lucia and her husband Peppino often converse!
Some say the village of Riseholme worships social climbing and the highly irrelevant minutiae of Who Said What And To Whom And Oh No They Didn't Oh Yes They Did... and I say, worship away! We all have our own altars!
Some say the village of Riseholme worships whatever the latest fad may be - an Indian Guru promising peaceful meditation one day, a Psychic Russian "Princess" promising drama with the dearly departed another day, a pill promising increased height on the third day... and I say, what is Life without Adventure! Even in charming Riseholme, one simply must have adventure! And garden parties! And champagne!
But darlings, what is that on the horizon? Could it be... Revolution? Revelation! Perhaps it is time to dethrone Queen Lucia! Olga Bracely, that splendid opera singer hailing from Londontown, has arrived! She brings with her jolly "romps" and match-making and a complete lack of interest in social climbing and snobbery. She is a Real Celebrity, quite unlike that "Queen" Lucia. And whatever else could she bring? Could it be - no, we mustn't speculate - yes, we simply MUST - could she be bringing love into sweet Georgie's life? Is it possible that Georgie is falling in love... with a woman? Scandalous!
Some may say that the pointed comic novel Queen Lucia is pure trifle, a dessert item, even a luxury when compared to more studied Classics of English Literature. Well I say we must make such Luxuries our Necessities! If something so spiky, so satirical, so scintillatingly silly could even be considered a "luxury". Such things are the Sugar and Spice of Life! And All That Is Nice!
Darlings, your really must read it. It is simply Divine!...more
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