breathless gothic set in the darkest, deadliest, most dangerous place on earth: France! probably the least of the Coffmans I've read so far, but stillbreathless gothic set in the darkest, deadliest, most dangerous place on earth: France! probably the least of the Coffmans I've read so far, but still fairly fun. as always, I come to her looking for atmosphere and she has yet to disappoint me. tons of creepy castle atmosphere (doors that close with no one touching them! rooms opening on rooms instead of a sensible hallway! vivid painting of a sexy-evil vampire-witch king!) and tons of creepy country atmosphere (rose bushes but all the roses are dying! overgrown foliage because Le Compte is apparently too cheap to hire gardeners! a poisoned spring plus an unlucky mouse proving that it's poisoned!) the heroine is obstinate and annoying. the hero is - is there even a hero? there is a mysterious, foppish gent who is described by our heroine as weak-looking and there's a big, dull French cop roaming around with some kind of club-cane; neither are particularly compelling or charismatic. the plot: our young heroine, a newly-orphaned and newly-rich bourgeois-but-sympathetic-to-the-French-Revolution up & buys an isolated mansion that belonged to her slain fiancé's family; sinister, maybe-satanic shenanigans ensue. moral of the tale: never up & buy a castle that is literally called "Witches' Coven Castle"?...more
easily the most brutal bodice-ripper I've read yet, due to a couple insane scenes. but also, somehow, not the most intense? I think that's because itseasily the most brutal bodice-ripper I've read yet, due to a couple insane scenes. but also, somehow, not the most intense? I think that's because its heroine is a figment of a character and the same goes for the rest of the cast - outside of the novel's berserk, schizophrenically-depicted so-called hero. ("so-called hero" is probably the correct description for most Bodice Ripper Heroes.) The Silver Devil takes the prize for most intense; A Pirate's Love would have taken the prize for most rapes in one book, until Passion's Dawn entered the competition. similar to the weird lack of affect in Pirate's Love, there's a gormless quality to the writing that gives the impression of an author blandly detailing her most secret rape fantasies while forgetting things like narrative, characterization, tone, consistent writing style, etc.
the good or at least um eyebrow-raising:
(1) occasionally the writing actually does deliver that supercharged purple prose that I have come to rely on when reading this genre. for example, "Rain slashed the night and silver daggers of lightning pierced the darkness, sending the wind howling in protest and pain. It rattled the shutters seeking refuge but there was no escape from the jagged fingers of fire that sizzled and ravaged the storm." even the wind gets assaulted in this book, wow.
(2) the incredibly over the top rape-antics (rantics?) of the so-called hero were like nothing I've read in mainstream, non-horror fiction for many years. like since I read de Sade in college! good grief, our so-called hero rapes our virginal heroine bloody on her wedding night, right next to her passed-out husband, who he has drugged, and oh who is also his father. in an effort to plant his seed, he proceeds to rape her nearly every night over the course of who knows how many weeks, because revenge on an unloving father is a dish best served by an illegitimate child. of course he is secretly in love with her, which naturally explains why at one point he goes berserk with annoyance and attempts to drown her, and at another point is so upset that he ties her up and systematically delivers both bruises and BITES over her entire body, following up by branding her ass with his own signet ring, all in front of her tied-up lover who he has just kicked senseless. I'm very used to the rape-aholic so-called heroes of BR, but this guy is another level. despite his brutality, Scott Harrington is mainly characterized as a cheeky fellow with knowing brown eyes, a boyish grin, and a love of children. I mean, he's the whole package.
(3) after Scott allows himself to get shot in a duel by the lover he had previously beaten and forced to watch his rantics, he makes sure to put off medical care long enough for his extremely painful wound to get infected and therefore cause days and days of more excruciating pain. I guess this is his way of saying sorry to Angela Carlyle, his rape/bruise/bite/brand victim and the love of his life. Angela spends all of her time in his sick room as he feverishly writhes in pain, fighting death. she's not there to administer to him though. she's there because she really enjoys witnessing his agonies and doesn't want to miss a single moment of that good stuff. the attending physician understandably side-eyes her and her gloating smiles during his own visits. all of this was laugh-out-loud funny to me.
the very, very bad:
I'm not going to harshly judge a book within the notoriously rape-heavy genre literally called "Bodice Rippers" simply because it has rape(s) in it. I did that with my first one, A Pirate's Love, but now I'm older & wiser jaded. plus that would be like judging a science fiction novel because it is set in the future. (and the very rapey Silver Devil and Lemonade were both fantastic books.) but I will judge a book harshly if it features a heroine who:
(1) has no life, internal or external, outside of her experience of being raped and/or loved. I'm not sure I've read another BR that has a heroine this flat. admittedly, my sample size is small. but still. Angela Carlyle is characterized as *sigh* feisty, but that's about it. other BR heroines have at least some other things going on in their lives and in their minds. not this one. the only thing going on with Angela is how:
(2) her repeated rapes have made her increasingly dick-hungry. that's crass, but I'm not sure there's a better way to describe what Michele DuBarry does with her heroine. passion has indeed dawned: these rapes make Angela come alive. enough so that she eventually realizes that she prefers Scott when he is in a more rambunctious rape mood, not a cold mood when he doesn't even fully undress. (Scott in turns realizes that he prefers this girl who he can hurt so good to his affectionate but boring regular sex partner.) Angela gets annoyed when he occasionally skips one of his nightly rape-visits and is practically distraught over her lack of dick after he decides to temporarily move to Jamaica to manage his slave plantation (we can add "he's also a slaver" to the list of Scott's charms).
there's a brief - and awful - middle section where Angela is kidnapped while Scott is away by "Gentleman Jack" who she eventually forces to become her lover because she's getting so horny being around him. later, after her rescue, her sweet & kindly rescuer/lover #3 just up and rapes her out of exasperation, and this is about the only time she is turned on by him during their years-long relationship. all of this was not just extremely gross to read, it was... embarrassing? I think it's okay to have really pervy sadistic/masochistic rape fantasies, you do you in the privacy of your own head and/or bedroom... but it is a little mortifying when an author is basically just trotting out her weird sex fantasies and not bothering to do anything to attach those fantasies to an actual story with actual characters. I really don't think that being raped is something that will make a girl horny for more. even the doltish A Pirate's Love appeared to understand that. you deserve 1 star for thinking that, book!...more
all the sweet spots were hit, including one I didn't know I even had: sardonic and (relatively) independent heroine yearning to explore the world; welall the sweet spots were hit, including one I didn't know I even had: sardonic and (relatively) independent heroine yearning to explore the world; well-developed setting; lavish detail porn featuring décor, couture, and food; arch dialogue; vivid swordfights; and especially, surprisingly, a Gary Stu Vampire versus decadent, sadistic Satanists. I'd add in an admirably frank attitude towards describing sex, but the sex described in this one was basically satanic gang rape, so I'll leave that out as far as sweet spots go.
speaking of sex, one of the most interesting/amusing things about Gary Stu-Germain the heartbreaker protagonist is that the book makes it clear that vampires can't have sex (at least of the penetrative variety). when you combine that with his disinterest in killing people, his sweet supportiveness and gentle demeanor, his style, his frequent and generous compliments, his kindness to servants... he's the safest and most pleasant vampire one could ever have the pleasure of meeting. I'd probably let him chaperone my daughter (as long as he promised not to turn her).
Yarbro's prose is polished and sophisticated but never pretentious. despite the amount of historical detail on display, the narrative never felt heavy. this was such a pleasure to read, so droll and amusing. and sometimes very moving.
something that really stood out to me - besides the utter goodness of the vampire hero - was how Yarbro rather subtly illustrated her feminism via the letters written by certain characters to each other. instead of creating an artificial situation or unrealistic characters, Yarbro instead shows her disdain for repressive value systems by having such values extolled by a couple embarrassingly foolish supporting characters. namely, a father and an abbot, both of whom spend a lot of time talking about how beautiful and Christian it is for a woman to completely submit to their husband/master's will.
I'm excited to check in with saintly Saint-Germain in future novels to see how different iterations of him throughout history think and act, especially in comparison with the warmth and compassion displayed here.
†
much gratitude to Saffron Moon for sending me this awesome book! really enjoyed it.
†
also, I love that this was the review's first like:
feckless idiot runs away from her Catholic boarding school and the prospect of an arranged marriage. to the Italian seaside and the Tower Lera she flefeckless idiot runs away from her Catholic boarding school and the prospect of an arranged marriage. to the Italian seaside and the Tower Lera she flees, having misadventures with a gypsy caravan and led on by an escaped convict in drag. out of the frying pan and into the arms of her cousin Silvana, nicknamed "The Demon" - which should have been a bit of a hint for our doltish heroine. a big part of the charm of this amusing trifle is realizing just how big an idiot poor Melissa turns out to be. there were certainly hints here and there, in her constant waffling, poor decision-making, and embarrassing inability to read the room. midway through the book, after she criticizes a seawall for holding back all of that lovely seafoam, it occurred to me that maybe the author intended her to be a parody of hysterical and judgmental Gothic heroines. I sure hope so! mainly because I enjoyed the breathless pacing of the book and its amusing play with gender identity, and I want what is a goofy 2 star read to actually be a clever 3 star read. but also because I just bought an entire Virginia Coffman lot off of ebay, solely on the strength of her Dark Palazzo, and I hope that wasn't a waste of money. because then I would be the idiot....more
Oh the misty moors of the Highland, they conceal many things. Troops of men, both English and Highland Scots, preying upon each other, spilling blood Oh the misty moors of the Highland, they conceal many things. Troops of men, both English and Highland Scots, preying upon each other, spilling blood and stealing horses. Stealing the hearts of Lowland women as well, visitors to this place far from Edinburgh and its dour world of stifling Presbyterians. And so it is with our heroine, a Lowland orphan now trapped in servitude, suddenly finding herself coming alive, enraptured by this new land and surprised by her own vitality, surprised even more by the infamous Lord Monleigh. This rogue lord, hero to some and horror to others, believes in the freedom of all humans, man and woman alike. He insists upon it, much to the heroine's delight, and then much to her sorrow, she who would prefer to be taken. But insist upon freedom he will: she must make a demand of him, in the end, if she wishes to be taken. He is the beau of this Highland ball, apple of every Highland woman's eye; he is not one who needs to take or to ravish. But she is not the demanding kind, despite her secret pride. She must learn to leave the servitude of the mind and body behind her, if she is to join her life to his, to a revolutionary who prizes freedom above all things.
Jan Cox Speas wrote a slow and dreamy story suffused with melancholy and loss, full of memories of lives ended brutally and far too soon, of dark histories rewritten as tales of triumph, of dark secrets hidden behind stoic faces, of memories buried that yet still live on in the hearts of heroes and villains alike. An atmospheric tale, steeped in the splendor and wildness of nature, of castles nearly emptied of people but full of tragedies past, of bandit raids at midnight, of love made in the cabin of a ship secretly docked. The book is a slow-moving swoon, the heroine falling fast yet as if sinking slowly in water, a mere month in time that feels like forever. The love at its center is a slow-burning candle, offering the slightest glimmer of hope. But that hope is still a flame, it is still a fire - despite how small it may appear!...more
shortly after the Civil War, a "feministic" young woman finds herself stranded with a range of other travelers at the Plantation Inn, waiting for the shortly after the Civil War, a "feministic" young woman finds herself stranded with a range of other travelers at the Plantation Inn, waiting for the rains to pass and the river nearby to become passable. also nearby: the vicious scion of a robber clan, on the run with his paramour, and notoriously okay with slashing the throat of any man, woman, child, or cat that gets in his way. but perhaps that villain and his lady are already members of the party, in disguise and ready to slash more throats... cue dramatic music!
there are a couple reviewers that found this to be "excruciatingly boring" and I just have to say that if such reviewers find the recounting of 3 tense days & nights filled with anxiety, paranoia, murdered animals, an intruder dressed as a spectral klansman, a dummy dressed as a murder victim, a lady's finery shredded and smeared with excrement, women screaming in the night, blood smeared throughout the hallway, tales of bayoneted babies (yep), someone at the locked door trying to get in while whispering spring has come, oh and some light flirting... well, if they find a 160-page book full of those sorts of things to be boring, then what exactly do they find to be exciting??
for the most part, this was a fun, page-turning experience and I just had to finish it in one sitting. the writing is mainly pretty good and the setting is ripe with rainy gothic atmosphere. unfortunately, the denouement is the worst kind of corny infodump, the various romances are eyerolling and unconvincing, and when the writing isn't pretty good, it is completely horrible, with some headscratchingly obtuse dialogue and bizarre misuse of words that occasionally gave me the impression that the author wasn't too comfortable with using things like words. and so 1 star docked, despite this being an exciting experience overall....more
this is pure charm, a tale of water and ice and champagne, rutting in the boudoir and intrigue among the courtiers and sweet songs sung in the palace this is pure charm, a tale of water and ice and champagne, rutting in the boudoir and intrigue among the courtiers and sweet songs sung in the palace cellars. the time: the 18th century. the place: Versailles, in the court of the King. the story: an ambitious soldier turned architect, of sorts, finds the human peacocks insufferable but the inhuman nixie he has captured and employed to be increasingly sympathetic. Kelly Robson writes with warmth and wit; her elegant novella is all of a piece, its own imperfect little world, a flawed jewel that dazzles the eye and warmed this heart. I could have lived in this world much longer, it was such a pleasure to read.
take careful note of the synopsis on the GR book page:
"Intrigue at the decadent court of Charles II... Shameless passion in the caribbean... The sprawltake careful note of the synopsis on the GR book page:
"Intrigue at the decadent court of Charles II... Shameless passion in the caribbean... The sprawling, romantic saga of a child of destiny who becomes a woman in the anus of a man who will haunt her... a wife in the house of a man who will hate her... and a mistress enslaved by a pirate who will defile her!"
um that's definitely a unique way to become a woman... i couldn't help myself, i got an uncontrollable attack of the giggles. please no one ever correct this, "anus" must stay. and i swear i'm not anti-pegging, i'm very open-minded about these things. i just hope she was gentle with him....more
You are Skye O'Malley, practically perfect in every way. You are bold and beautiful. You are brave and independent. You are headstrong and tempestuousYou are Skye O'Malley, practically perfect in every way. You are bold and beautiful. You are brave and independent. You are headstrong and tempestuous. Your sapphire eyes flash, your lustrous hair cascades, your heaving bosom heaves. You are a good daughter and a loving mother; you are a kind mistress to your servants. You are as brilliant as you are beautiful, with a facility for numbers and accounting, and a tongue skilled in many languages. You don't ride horses side-saddle and you can captain a ship as good as any man. You are filthy rich. You are a Mary Sue of the highest caliber! You are, as they say, the whole package. Even your most dangerous enemy is of the highest rank: Queen Elizabeth! You will have many adventures and you will love many men. You will travel from romantic Ireland to romantic Algiers to romantic England to a romantic smuggler's isle to a romantic ending in your lover's arms. You will love and you will fight and you will forget and you will remember. You can be conquered in only one way - if but briefly. You aren't ashamed to say that you love sex, you passionate woman you. Your "honey-oven" is apparently made for it.
You are Bertrice Small. You decided to write an historical adventure - but for the ladies! Your heroine will be everything a heroine can be. You will provide her lots and lots of sex, most of it good, some of it bad, all of it very graphically detailed. You will provide her lots and lots of love, all of it good, and due to a tragic but convenient memory loss, and then a tragic but convenient murder, and then a tragic but convenient illness, those many examples of true love will all be relatively guilt-free. You will also provide her some kids, but no need to get into that, they're barely there. You will, most of all, provide your reader with deliciously detailed descriptions of delightful destinations - every locale you send your heroine to will be described in the most luscious way possible. You love glamour. You are definitely no slouch with the adjectives! You could beat George R.R. Martin when it comes to all of the very specifically illustrated settings, outfits, food, and clothes. You definitely have him beat when describing hair color, eye color, amount of male body hair, creative ways to describe a penis, and especially on how to very specifically please a lady. You could also beat Song of Ice & Fire when it comes to the sadism! You have a similar disinterest in moralizing and that means many scenes are incredibly uncomfortable as they nonchalantly recount the horrific subjugation and degradation of women throughout this time period. You shrug at any reader outrage. Your writing style may be a bit embarrassing and your plotlines insane, but you could care less. You know what this is about: giving a woman the best and worst life possible! You realize that life is often too boring to deal with boring adventures. You hate being bored! You make sure your readers never experience it.
WATCH OUT, EVEN MORE SPOILERS FOLLOW
You are Niall Burke and you have exercised droit de siegneur upon Skye. You love her ardently and she loves you in return. Your eyes gleam blue-green and your chest is full of black curling hair. Your "pulsing root" will conquer. You are Skye's first love, her destiny. You also love cunnilingus.
You are Dom O'Flaherty and you are Skye's first husband. You are an infamous cocksman at 18 years of age, known as The Bull. Your eyes flash sky-blue and your hair and beard are a curling gold. Your unnaturally large "monster sex" will conquer. You love your perverted sister and also three-ways.
You are the Spaniard known as Khalid el Bey, Whoremaster of Algiers. You rescued Skye and freed her from slavery. Your eyes glint amber-gold and your chest is a dark furred mat. Your "pulsing shaft" will conquer. You are Skye's second husband and you love her. You also love cunnilingus.
You are Geoffrey Southwood, her third husband. You are an infamous cocksman, referred to as the Angel Earl. Your green eyes shine bright as your blonde hair. Your "great, blue-veined beast" will conquer. Your player days are over: your lust for Skye bec0mes love. You also love cunnilingus.
You are Lord Dudley, favorite of the Virgin Queen. You are a devious dandy. Your velvet brown eyes are set too close together; your moustache is red. You like spanking and being called "Papa". You blackmail Skye into surrendering her hidden valley. You also love bestiality with village girls, yuck.
You are Adam de Marisco, master of the island Lundy. You are a giant among Irishmen: 6 ft 6 inches! Your eyes spark a sensuous smoky-blue and your body is the hairiest Skye has ever seen. You love this vengeful woman but sadly you are only her "special friend". You also love cunnilingus.
You are Niall Burke and you have at last been reunited with your forever-love. You married a nymphomaniac, but at least that's over with - and good for you, you didn't shame her for her mental health condition despite her shenanigans. Your warm eyes for some reason now glow silver and then a smoky blue, but your chest hair remains dark and your nipples remain flat. Your "manroot" will conquer. You have also been conquered - by Love! You still love cunnilingus.
END SPOILERS
You are mark monday. You really enjoyed this trashy book. You should feel guilty but honestly you don't. You love adventure and trash! You also love (view spoiler)[spoilers (hide spoiler)]....more
Venice, 1797: the year that Napoleon invaded. La Serenissima at this point in her history had been in a very slow, rather sleepy decline. A jewel deepVenice, 1797: the year that Napoleon invaded. La Serenissima at this point in her history had been in a very slow, rather sleepy decline. A jewel deep in hue and rich in value, but cracked, losing lustre. What was once a rich banquet was reduced to an ornate dessert item, softening and growing rotten, appeasing no appetites - especially those of its citizens. This is a decayed Venice of a seemingly powerless ruler, the Doge, and a feared Council, issuing their orders of assassination and bizarrely obsessed with appropriate behavior - especially the comportment of Venetian women. The Venetian government despised its own people, fearing their interest in the revolutions that were spreading from France yet ushering in a French dictator to rule them all. A toxic society, slowly poisoning itself.
The Last Carnival gets all of that, and when it focuses on what Venice felt like at that time, it is a splendid experience. The Carnival and its masks and costumes; the canals and their gondolas; the gambling houses and their courtesans; the paranoid and stultifying government and their shadowy servants; the cafes and their revolutionaries; the swirls of color and the shadowy spaces. This novel brings the reader right into the center of that fascinating pageant. Great descriptions! Most enjoyable of all: a brief sojourn in a convent on the isle of Torcello: a very Venetian convent, full of worldly Sisters and secret affairs and giggling schoolgirls learning the rules that will order every facet of their lives. There is a certain trashiness to it all, but that is also apropos: Venice at the time was a trashy place, full of hypocrisy and corruption.
The heroine made sense to me. Francesca di Gascardi tries to be independent, and fails. She tries again and again, and fails again and again. This is 18th century Venice, after all: not a generous place for a young woman of a certain class who wants to be free to do as she pleases. It did get tiring though, seeing her so thoroughly abused, and so often. Not to mention the innumerable times she's called a trollop.
Where the novel fails is in trying to be an actual Romance. No romance worthy of respect has a hero as uninteresting and poorly characterized as the English spy, Giles St. Talvert. He's not witty, kind, or smart. Nor is he a brutal but charismatic monster. I couldn't even picture what he looked like. The guy is supposed to be a military attaché but he comes across as a bland and entitled fratboy on his first internship abroad. He barely does his job - he's a spy for chrissakes! - and he scarcely even thinks about the heroine. He doesn't love her, he doesn't despise her, he just took her virginity against her will and that's that. There's even a date rape drug involved. Francesca and Giles spend almost all of the novel apart. Nothing connects them other than his deflowering of her (and so her subsequent disgrace). When he does get around to falling in love with her, in the last 30 pages or so, it's much too little, much too late. Despite the questionable Happily Ever After, our feisty heroine is mainly unimpressed by the long delay. Giles is quite limp, which is not a good look and is definitely not romantic....more
I came to see Venice but I stayed for the revolution!
this great gothic had everything I needed to bring me back to one of my favorite cities: the canI came to see Venice but I stayed for the revolution!
this great gothic had everything I needed to bring me back to one of my favorite cities: the canals and gondolas, the dark often abandoned palazzos, the campos, the bridges, the decay, mordant commentary on the various tourist traps, the hot crowded days and the eerie sound of water everywhere in the foggy dark, the sudden bursts of laughter coming from revelers on their way home, that entrancing feeling when wandering at night of being entirely alone in someone else's strange dream. atmosphere to die for.
Dark Palazzo has a surprisingly complex heroine. one would expect that a wealthy protagonist in a mystery set in Napoleonic Europe, who has fled France and her memories of The Terror, memories of past boyfriends sent to the guillotine, would be right at home amid the decadent Venetian set. but not so much. apparently you can take the girl out of Revolutionary France but you can't take the revolution out of the girl. she may have suffered during her time there, but she learned a few things about a clueless and parasitical upper class that only live for themselves, about why it's not right that a woman can't walk the streets unchaperoned, about free thinking and criticizing the secretive powers that be, about why people have revolutions in the first place. this was all very unexpected and delightful.
I also quite enjoyed how the sneaky hero of the piece disguises his good looks by wearing oversized spectacles that give him a buggy, goggle-eyed appearance. even the open-minded heroine is understandably turned off....more
a sweet but rather bland trifle. basically a gay version of your typical gothic romance template: innocent tutor goes to beautiful but ominous estate a sweet but rather bland trifle. basically a gay version of your typical gothic romance template: innocent tutor goes to beautiful but ominous estate to take care of troubled, precocious child; tutor fears and yet falls in love with the stern lord of the manner. Pierce's prose is not bad but not particularly impressive. I did like the emphasis on striking colors and lovely designs, as noticed by the protagonist - that felt quite gay, in a low-key way - and kudos to the author for successfully resisting any urge to turn this into a hardcore porn romp. the story is true to the template in almost all ways, save the gender shifts, of course. unfortunately, it is all too true to the template at its most basic, and I'm not usually a fan of basic. the story was mildly enjoyable (this is a strong 2 stars) but I grew very, very, VERY frustrated at all of the boring dithering by our innocent hero as he tries to make up his mind if The Master of Seacliff is indeed a murderer three or four times over. sweetie, get a grip! of course he's not a multiple murderer - he's the love of your life and he's surrounded by overtly untrustworthy types who you really should not be trusting. trust the dude who respects both your sensitive side and your boundaries; don't trust that fey fashion plate running around bitching about him while invading your personal space! duh. I don't like being bored by a protagonist and this clueless twit really bored me. in the end, I sorta felt The Hunk of Seacliff could do a lot better. as the saying goes, there's plenty of tutors in the sea. no need to settle for this cold fish.
from the Earth Journal of Scientific Analyst SLJLK92349UO, Earth Invasion Exploratory Unit
My studies of the human kind as they eke out their muddy exifrom the Earth Journal of Scientific Analyst SLJLK92349UO, Earth Invasion Exploratory Unit
My studies of the human kind as they eke out their muddy existence on this muddy ball of earth, third from its star, has of course included a comparative survey of these creatures' various art forms, including their literature. My predilection has naturally been towards their so-called "Science Fiction" genre; as I am a member of Robot Planet's advance team stationed on this planet to prepare for our eminent invasion, it seemed an obvious fit and an ideal place to study the vagaries of the human race. Later, I began studying other genres - and realized I have been incorrect in my choices and assumptions. Foolish Scientific Analyst am I! After reading this novel Sweet Savage Love, it is now clear that the best path to understanding this species is through the so-called "Bodice Ripper" genre. All that time wasted on Science Fiction! The realization hit this Scientific Analyst as suddenly and as tempestuously as a bodice being ripped from the ripe, peach-colored body of a highly-strung but plucky young lady by a notorious alpha male/lover/rapist whose manliness is illustrated by the hairiness of his torso, his willingness to ravish all women and kill all men, and his inability to pronounce the three words "I love you."
Sweet Savage Love is not only a novel of romance, it is also a *cough* Historical Novel. This is where my initial attraction to this genre and this book began. It is a novel of the American Old West and the revolution against Emperor Maximilian in Mexico. And so it is a Western and a War Novel. It is also an Exciting Novel! Little did this Scientific Analyst realize how immersive an experience this would be, and how pleasurable. The "Western" genre has held very little interest for this Scientific Analyst, as I have scarce interest in reading about a small sliver of a time frame within the American plutocracy's past - in particular as this time frame appears to encapsulate all of the naivete and machismo and reactionary tendencies of this people. I sneered at this genre... foolish Scientific Analyst am I! Sweet Savage Love's historical sweep and exciting scenes of violence and lavish lifestyles and incredible journeys and amusing set pieces describing dining, decadence, and erotic dancing held me captive like a virginal and emotional but surprisingly sharp-tongued young lady captured by a brutal but attractive alpha male/lover/rapist and then secreted away in a luxurious bordello as he figures out his next move and how to best evade his own capture, while plundering her on a nightly, sometimes daily basis.
As I read on, I realized that immersion within past time frames of historical significance was only a part of my pleasure. I realized that this book was teaching me many things! This Scientific Analyst learned much about aberrant human nature, its highs and its lows, the over the top emotions and the physically and emotionally violent romances and the at times strangely stylized and at other times crudely direct way that humans express their desires to each other. As the characters chased each other, beat each other, experienced horrifying gang rape, were whipped and then tortured in dark cells and under burning suns, stuck knives into the necks of their enemies, donned disguises, inherited riches, uttered incredibly cruel and petty things to each other while panting, flirted and ravished and thrust tongues into each other's oral cavities and copulated more times than this reader could keep track of... this Scientific Analyst felt his own emotions begin to race! This Scientific Analyst gripped this book quite tightly because the book was quite gripping! This Scientific Analyst is eager to share this novel and others of its ilk with his brethren back on Robot Planet! This Scientific Analyst knows that his brothers and sisters will love it, if they can get past their natural embarrassment at reading such scandalous material.
This Scientific Analyst is certainly not ashamed to say that he quite enjoyed Sweet Savage Love... it was as enjoyable as a final, book-closing embrace between a fiery, violent, no longer virginal young lady who has really suffered and her beau, an angry, violent, sexually well-traveled young man who also has really suffered. This Scientific Analyst's mechanical components trembled with dark delight at the thought that there are many more books of the bodice-ripping persuasion to be read! This Scientific Analyst politely requests that his Robot Masters possibly consider delaying our glorious invasion for just a short while, so that further study of this genre can continue....more
the Poor Thing has had Quite A Life! and she's not even 18! Emma Tennant, a Brilliant and often Unrecognized Author, details Robina's surprising, Candthe Poor Thing has had Quite A Life! and she's not even 18! Emma Tennant, a Brilliant and often Unrecognized Author, details Robina's surprising, Candide-esque travels through mid-20th century England and France, from her Repressed Life in a Country Home to her more footloose and fancy free times in Oxford, Paris, and finally Orgiastic London Town. this is a Satire so that means that Many Words are Strangely Capitalized, all the better to capture the writing style of such Bygone Ages - I guess? I don't think that was actually the case in 1950s England - it seems to me as if Tennant is attempting to capture the style of 1850s England. that was a rather Terminal Oversight. all of that Capitalization became Quite Annoying, like A Joke constantly retold by Some Relative who has forgotten that they've already told this joke Many Times Before. another Annoying Thing: Robina constantly being Ravished, Against Her Will. unfortunately I am a Sad, Limited Sort of Person who finds the reading of a personal narrative detailing the misadventures of A Virginal Lass who is constantly being Taken Advantage Of yet somehow magically Retains Her Precious Virginity, Despite It All... to be, frankly, Rather A Bore. get on with it already, Robina! but this novel was certainly Well-Written and, in its own way, Perfectly Accomplished. despite eventually being, well, Boring....more
1. Rescue a damsel in distress. Preferably one floating in shark-infested waters with her little brother and who will disguise her upper crust background by calling herself a governess. You can take your shirt off when coming to her rescue; she'll love that!
2. Take the damsel back to your cabin. Give her some time to get acquainted with her surroundings and then when the inevitable whining starts, promptly rape ravish her. She'll love that!
3. Continue raping ravishing her throughout the next few days. She'll love that!
4. Take her to your island hideaway and install her as an honored guest in your island mansion. Seduce her with your eyes and hints of your manly hairy chest. She won't be able to resist you because all of that raping ravishing will have proven how much you love her. Take her in your arms and declare that love. She'll love that!
5. Respect her request to be sent home to her father's island mansion where she is engaged to some uptight asshole. Eventually find out that she has given birth to your child; visit her at night so you can both declare your mutual love; steal the child in an effort to lure her to your ship; quickly sail away with her and your child on board. She'll love that!
6. Be together forever. She'll love that!
7. At one point tell her that if she hadn't pretended to be a governess and was instead honest about her upper crust background, she probably wouldn't have been raped ravished in the first place. But then LOL and say that it probably still would have happened because she's so super-hot. She'll love that!
♥?♥?♥?♥?♥?♥?♥?♥?♥?♥?♥?♥?♥?♥?♥?♥?♥?♥?
so Bound by the Heart marks two things for me: (1) the first in a series of romance novels I plan to read this year because hey I made a goal and I'm going to stick with it, and (2) the first time I was able to compartmentalize rape in a book, separate it from the rest of the narrative, and so actually enjoy the book. that second item does not exactly fill me with pride. but if I'm going to read a bunch of romance novels, it appears that I'm just going to have to get over it. I still don't quite understand why rape appeared to be featured so much in romance novels from (recently) bygone eras, but I do know that those torrid romances with their intense emotions and and historical settings are just more appealing to me than sweet romances set in the modern days.
Canham makes compartmentalization easy by creating a heroine who is almost entirely two-dimensional and whose actions are often so eye-rolling and ridiculous that she barely exists as an understandable character. this is supposed to be the reader stand-in? I think not! Summer Cambridge is so often insipid and petulant and prone to foolish decisions and eager to say ridiculous things out loud that she felt more like a running joke than a person. she does have her positive moments of quick thinking and loyalty and bravery, so fortunately she's not a total pain to read about. but the sad misogynist truth of the matter is that I was able to quickly forget the fact that she was repeatedly raped in the beginning of the novel because the author appears completely disinterested in giving her anything but the slightest bit of logic or agency. when Summer begins to look at those rapes as the beginning of her love affair with the hottest man she's ever met, all I could do was shrug and say Well, er, okaaaaaay.
so an easy 1 star for this novel, right? wrong! compartmentalization saved the day! yay?
I really liked the rest of this book because it was all about PRIVATEERS ♥ BATTLES AT SEA ♥ CANNONS FIRING ♥ BRAVE CREW MEMBERS ♥ SHIPS SINKING ♥ MILITARY INTRIGUES ♥ MARITIME TACTICS ♥ THE AMERICAN REVOLUTIONARY WAR ♥ BURNING VENGEANCE ♥ SECRET IDENTITIES ♥ SNEAKY FRENCHMEN ♥ DASTARDLY ENGLISHMEN ♥ CUNNING AMERICANS ♥ DARING RESCUES ♥ ACTION ♥ ACTION ♥ ACTION ♥!
Marsha Canham fully immerses the reader in this nautical adventure through her excellent use of historical detail and what felt like an encyclopedic understanding of how ships of a certain time period operate and do battle. this felt like an old-fashioned tale of daring deeds at sea, with an irritating romance shoehorned in. did this book really appeal to the romance readers of 1984? I hate being a gender essentialist, but much of the time it felt like it was written for guys who liked the Aubrey-Maturin series. and Canham is far from a bad writer when it comes to all of the adventure. her prose is quite muscular.
so thanks to the wonders of compartmentalization, I dub thee a 3 star book! I liked it. but then why do I feel ashamed?...more
1960s Great Britain back into mid-16th century England. reincarnation. undying loving. characters reborn but carrying the same damn baggage. all of th1960s Great Britain back into mid-16th century England. reincarnation. undying loving. characters reborn but carrying the same damn baggage. all of that.
for the most part this is an enjoyable novel about two lovers reborn who knows how many times, destined for tragic ends until they are able to sort out all of their issues. I loved the opening chapters: cosmopolitan aristocrats lounging around the pool, touring historical sites with rolled eyes, making loaded comments to each other during a dinner party... it was all so fun and chic. I should read more 'contemporary' novels written during that era featuring similar characters. what a droll life! i also enjoyed the remaining nine-tenths of the book set during the reigns of Edward VI, Lady Jane, Bloody Mary, and Elizabeth the Great. Seton clearly spent a lot of time researching the book, and it shows. the details are amazing but never overwhelm the story. and she does more than show off her extensive research - the novel is written by a person with such a strong feeling for the era that I eventually felt like I was living there as well. I love that kind of immersive experience, a world that feels real. all of the characters felt real as well - even major figures like Edward, Mary, and Elizabeth who appear only briefly.
the moments when the characters experience what their future lives hold in store for them were great, but even better were the eerie moments when they glimpse their past lives. Seton doesn't explore those past lives, pre-16th century, so I can only imagine what they were like based on those very brief and haunting bits of imagery. tragedy on a Grecian isle? maybe.
my friend Richard criticizes the book for its gay character (reincarnated as well), but honestly I don't see a problem. I think Seton treated the 16th century version very fairly and sympathetically. his modern incarnation is dismissed as a "queer" by other characters, but that clearly is not Seton - it's her characters and the era itself.
the villainess is brilliantly characterized. the petty, vindictive motivations. the weird rages during her many times of drunkenness. those dead black eyes.
the big problem with the novel is in the characterization of its male lead. the protagonist Celia is very well done, three-dimensional and true to the era, frustrating and surprising, in general fairly passive but also often strong, or wayward, or defiant, or idiosyncratic. the sequence when she gives up on God was impressive. all in all, a richly developed character. her lover - not so much. well, he's well-developed but he's just such a pain in the ass. Stephen remains an obstinate, uptight, unappealing prude in each incarnation and is not only utterly unsympathetic but is genuinely a drag to have to read about. he's the only thing that brings this novel down. ugh.
but all in a all, a good book and well worth reading for fans of historical melodramas....more
O my brothers and sisters, hark! The full moon is nigh. Soon our pale mistress will quicken our blood and command our souls. The great change shall coO my brothers and sisters, hark! The full moon is nigh. Soon our pale mistress will quicken our blood and command our souls. The great change shall come and so our true selves will arise – if only briefly. But perhaps such pleasures should only be given in brief amounts. ‘Tis better for our prey, the human kind, at least! Pathetic, limited humans. They will never know the wonder of our nature: the fearful pain as our furry true selves burst through our human guises, bones reshaping and pelts and muzzles and hard nails and sharp fangs coming forth... the glorious howling, as we sing to each other and to our mistress in the sky... the thrill of the hunt and the long races in the dark as we track and chase and toy with our human prey… the joy of the slaughter as we leap and then bite and tear and devour… the warm, salty tang of blood and the sweet, rich taste of flesh on our tongues. Mere humans will never know such things; they know only how to be prey. O hark, my brethren! The night comes quickly!
But first, a book review.
Moon Dance is an epic novel of the American Old West and purports to be a history of how the decadent European werewolves came to settle the land, only to find that a tribe of the native species have already claimed that land. It is a novel about a war between wolves, and the battles between the human kind and our early brothers and sisters. It is about shamanism and magic, a multiple personality, a human woman caught between wolves, old traditions dying and new traditions being born. It is about a modern day woman, solving a riddle and learning this history. It is about slaughter and atrocity.
I truly wanted to love this book. Certainly the subject matter is of much interest to me. I appreciated the differentiation between the wolf tribes, European and native. I enjoyed its fast pacing and dense plotting and respect for shamanism and native culture. Somtow also demonstrates some genuine skill with his prose; many phrases are compellingly evocative or haunting or strange or mordantly playful. And the story comes from a talented pen: its Thai author has not just been prolific within many genres of popular fiction, he is also a composer of music and a conductor of symphonies as well. He is currently the artistic director of the Bangkok Opera. An impressive resume, for a human.
Unfortunately he has a tin ear when it comes to actual dialogue. The dialogue, oh the dialogue! It does improve over time but there is much that is so strained and so wooden that it became impossible to read the book without rolling my yellow eyes in derision. The author seems to have little understanding of the human species itself! Except for the central character of the boy with many souls, characterization is often tediously flat or even nonsensical. An ongoing and particularly infuriating example: in the modern sequences, an apparently empowered and intelligent young lady is repeatedly degraded and threatened verbally by a handsome young man. He taunts her and continually calls her a bitch and refers casually to her innate racism and stupidity. The young lady not only never reacts to these provocations, her own internal monologue barely even acknowledges them. This is supposed to be a strong and independent woman? Her only reaction to his ridiculous commentary is to be... turned on. She is like no human woman I have ever met. Now I am not the sort of liberal lycanthrope who will often defend or rationalize the soft weaknesses of the human sort, but even I appear to have a better understanding of human behavior and a deeper empathy for the human soul. Humans are not just delicious, they are also complicated and emotional and react to provocation. Somtow does not appear to understand humans. Perhaps he does not belong to their kind?
Even worse is the excessive focus on slaughter and atrocity. Somtow attempts to conduct a symphony of orgiastic violence within his book. I realize my distaste may come as a surprise to my brethren. But page after page after page of atrocity: the torture and rape of children and women and men, the slaughter of animals and humans, the most brutal and vile examples of sadistic violence described in an almost gloating fashion, again and again and again… it became mind-numbing. The violence was so repetitious and so over the top that it also became rather a joke, and a chore to read as well. Violence a chore – to me! Believe me brothers, I was surprised as well. But as much as I appreciate the insensate screams of my victims and the bloody devouring of their flesh, really, there is a limit. There is such a thing as Too Much. Somtow’s symphony of slaughter eventually turned into a tedious cacophony to these wolfish ears.
I was also quite displeased with the author’s obsession with urine and feces. Obviously the marking of territory is a common habit, and a reasonable one. But does everything have to be described as smelling like urine? Does every human and wolf have to smell like and be stained with urine? Must the characters constantly urinate everywhere and on each other? And the feces! There was so much smearing of shit that eventually I realized that the author was overindulging himself, like a toddler who has discovered his diaper and stubbornly insists on playing with his new toys. And then there is the depiction of the rank smell of wolves... like that of a corpse. Excuse me, Somtow? How dare you compare a wolf's musk to the smell of rot and decay and bodily corruption! The nerve of him. I am of a mind to seek out this author and let him truly know my scent. And much else!
O my brethren, I would consider carefully before reading this one. It is not an atrocious book by any means and there is much to savor within its pages. But it should be seen as more of a “guilty pleasure” rather than as a novel of genuine worth. Much like the stalking and devouring of invalids and seniors... sometimes one can enjoy the lazier, less challenging pleasures. But that pleasure should never replace the thrilling joy of hunting and consuming something in the full bloom of health! And so, alas, I must continue my search for the Great American Werewolf Novel. Surely it must be out there somewhere.
he is an EX-SOLDIER! she belongs to a SECRET SOCIETY! this is a ROMANCE! but it has a lot of ADVENTURE! and MAGIC! in MONGOLIA! I liked all of that MONGOLIAhe is an EX-SOLDIER! she belongs to a SECRET SOCIETY! this is a ROMANCE! but it has a lot of ADVENTURE! and MAGIC! in MONGOLIA! I liked all of that MONGOLIA! she's no prude she wants to be an ADVENTURESS! and also his WIFE! he's your basic decent studly alpha male STEREOTYPE! his eyes, his skin, his hair are colored in shades of GOLD! he apparently smells like the WIND! she is an accomplished ARCHER! she really knows how to use a GUN! also, she sure knows how to ride a HORSE! the story was like a classic fast-paced ADVENTURE MOVIE! the feel of this book is decidedly OLD-FASHIONED! except he frequently mentions his stiff COCK!
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