I think it's the simpleness of the story that gives it the most charm. There are no intricate or twisted plots. This book is short, sweet and simple.
I think it's the simpleness of the story that gives it the most charm. There are no intricate or twisted plots. Nor is than any great climatic action to this story.
It is a gradual growing of a girl and a boy as they learn to deal with an unusual psychic ability together and face their nightmares.
There isn't much to say about this book. There isn't much plot or pacing to speak of though it doesn't drag on. It's hard for this book to drag on because there simply isn't much of it. I read it in three hours.
The characters are complex, compelling and well crafted. Though the character of Cabel has convinced me of one thing that I had already suspected. In literature, we like our men obsessive.
We like them to be doggedly persistent in their chase of our heroines. It's not enough that they summon the courage to attempt to speak or interact to them. It's not enough that they put themselves or their hearts on the the line. They must win us, well and truly.
They have to be obsessed and consumed with us. I think it's a sad reflection on the high expectations that we have on men today, but Cabel is different from the norm.
Because you can actually understand why he would risk everything for the female main character. He's reasonable, lovable, and flawed.
Over all, I love this story though it's not one I'd pick up to read over and over again. It's a nice story to have read and enjoyed. I look forward to reading the sequel....more
Okay, so some of the girls asked that I do a review of the Anita Blake series because I mentioned some things that intrigued them.
It's not a finished Okay, so some of the girls asked that I do a review of the Anita Blake series because I mentioned some things that intrigued them.
It's not a finished series and usually I would reserve judgment on a series until it comes to its conclusion just in case the author was going somewhere I wasn't expecting.
Kind of like that scene out of Austin Powers where Austin's in the bathroom stall with a bad guy and a big Texan man is in the next stall and can only see Austin's feet. He hears Austin Powers grunting as he fights the guy, saying, "Who does Number 2 work for?"
The Texan guy, thinking that Austin is taking a crap, decides to pitch in and give encouragement to someone who is obviously struggling.
"That's right! Show that turd who's boss!"
Well, that's what reading Anita Blake is like. You're sitting in the next stall with someone who, nine or so books ago you thought was really nice and normal. Suddenly they start to struggle and you want to be encouraging, or you want to tell them to give up, take a laxative and come back later. The thing is, at first you're wary to because maybe something else is going on. Maybe a brilliant struggle for life and death is happening but you just can't see it. Maybe at the end of the series, you're going to come out, see what's left over in the stall and proudly proclaim:
Jesus Christ, what did you eat?
The first 10 books are filled with mystery and intrigue. They've got great characters and really interesting storylines. They've got action. DAMN have they got action! Obsidian Butterfly, in my opinion, the last good book is such a thriller in so many ways.
They're a little bit sexy and you find yourself wishing a little more sexy would come your way because it's kind of really hawt.
But then something happens after book 10. It happens so quickly that you're kind of in a headspin, looking around going, "Am I still reading the right series? Have they printed a different book under the same name?"
Because suddenly, they're no longer mysteries. There's no longer any real edge-of-your-seat suspense. Suddenly, you think you're going to go a little crazy if you read another freakin' sex scene. Suddenly the writing is so poor, so transparent! The characters are so unlikable and so unrelatable that they might as well be from another galaxy.
You're just walking along one day, admiring the view, when suddenly - OH CRAP! ANITA JUST HAD SEX WITH A WERELEOPARD IN ANIMAL FORM!!!!
You're minding you're own business, enjoying a cup of coffee when - FUCK! SHE JUST HAD A THREE WAY WITH TWO MEN! ANALSEXANALSEXANALSEX!!!
You were about to get ready for work when, out of nowhere - CROTCHBUCKETS! SHE'S JUST HAD A MASSIVE GROUP ORGY AND BEEN 'SPITTED' BY TWO MEN! FAAARK!!!
Then you wonder if you can still walk into a church after reading these books. They become so appallingly bad that you wear them like a badge of pride. "Oh, you think THAT book is shocking? Has she ever had sex with an animal while a whole room full of people look on?" "Oh! You think THAT'S shocking? Did that character ever have seven consecutive boyfriends and nine casual fucks at the same time?" "Really? That character is THAT powerful? Did they ever defeat an evil villain with the power of their crotch alone?"
Speaking of which, this is one of the major, MAJOR flaws of Anita Blake. Her Cooter. The Crotch of Doom as some of the girls call it. Almost every man she comes across, she has to sleep with. And then he loves her. He's addicted to her. He can't get enough of her. It's ridiculous. That girl had better have a TV screen in her forehead, beer leaking from her nipples and a bellybutton that dispenses sandwiches. Otherwise I just ain' buyin' it!
She amasses power like it's spare change. She goes from being a powerful animator of zombies, to a necromancer who can control ALL dead things (including vampires), as well as being a lupa (Queen of the Werewolves, Namira-Ra (Queen of the wereleopards) having six strains of were in her but none of the downsides like actually changing. She becomes a succubus. She is a human servant part of a powerful Triumvate. Then she makes her OWN triumvate with her own Vampire to call and an animal to call. It's just RIDICULOUS! You're wondering where it stops!
This stops her from having any character growth. I thought Anita Blake's flaws were going to be dealt with at some point. I thought her pride, arrogance, lack of impulse control, insecurities etc were going to be addressed through circumstances and a learning curve. No. She just becomes so powerful that it doesn't matter anymore.
And the books are just basically sex. That's all that happens. Everyone has sex. All the time. And then they all argue. A lot. Anita wears a skirt, so three out of seven of her boyfriends take issue with that and then argue with Anita and amongst themselves. Anita chips a nail, so at least five of her boyfriends go mental and start blaming each other.
I really don't know why this mess continues. It's beyond ridiculous. I think LKH just wants to see how much she can shock us now. What more can she do to play with our heads? So Anita has brain sex with another woman. So Anita has sex with a sixteen year old. It doesn't matter anymore. In the end, Anita never takes responsibility for ANY of it. She never really sits down and says: "Regardless of everything - I want to be with THIS person and THAT person. I want to do THESE crazy sex acts because that would get me hawt. Then I want to try it with five men at once."
No. It's always the situation. She's always "made" to do it. This makes me lose so much respect for both the character and LKH. You want fantasy smut in your story? Fine. Put it in there. But don't make it so that the character never CHOOSES the fantasy smut. Don't make it so that each and every time, the character is forced by circumstances to do these crazy, smutty things. WTH?
And lastly, don't push feminist bullshit down our throats when every other woman in this series is either a bitch, psycho, cow or pathetically weak! If Anita was a real woman than she'd stand up to a little damn competition. Instead she fights with every other woman around like it's some kind of damn pissing competition.
I kept thinking that maybe LKH was behind that stall, doing something that didn't seem apparent to me. From what I could see so far, she was struggling to get something out. I kept wanting to yell at her for it, but then I thought, maybe there's something epic happening. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's just because I can't see enough from my stall in the bathroom of life.
No, my friends. In this instance, she's not wrestling a man into a toilet bowl for information. She's not leading us through some epic, well thought out drama that's going to unfold brilliantly if we just hang on and keep reading.
She's just shitting with us. Well and truly, and enjoying the money we pay her for the pleasure of reading this crap....more
On one hand, it is a variation on the norm and Rose is definitely not the usual character occupying the Vampire Academy is a difficult book to review.
On one hand, it is a variation on the norm and Rose is definitely not the usual character occupying the myriad of PRNs these days. The writing style is blessedly free of awkward construction and mistakes. In fact, the writing isn't too bad at all.
The secondary characterizations are quite good for the most part, and well rounded. The pacing is agonizingly slow at the beginning of the book and doesn't pick up until the last fifty pages. The lore behind the story is complex, convoluted and somewhat ridiculous.
So you have the Moroi's, a race of weak, magic wielding vampires and the Dhampires who are their stronger "Guardians". The only way that Dhampires breed is if they are lucky enough to get up to shenanigans with the Moroi (who won't marry them) and have illegitimate bastard children. However this is somehow okay for this race because they can't breed amongst themselves and if you're a Dhampire male than you can just give up on the idea of ever having children because extreme chances are that you won't.
The Dhamires are the Moroi's Guardians against another race of vampires, the Strogoi, who want to feast on Moroi flesh.
But you'd think that, on behalf of your race, if you were a Dhampire and naturally stronger and tougher then these Moroi - you'd just conquer them and keep them as your slaves. Who wants to dedicate their lives (their entire lives - they literally LIVE to protect the Moroi) just for the faint chance of being able to reproduce? Especially with a race that looks down on you!
It just doesn't make sense and the dynamics don't really compute. I mean, okay, I'm not the most ethical person out there but if I were a stronger, tougher breed of vampire and the weak vampires came and said, "Okay, we'll keep you as our Guardians and have drunken, disrespectful sex with you on occasion as long as you protect us from the Strogoi." I'd probably respond with, "How about I protect you by keeping you in my dank, dark cellar as my slave while I take over the world? Does that sound fair to you?"
It's just the way nature works FFS! The pay off isn't anywhere near the sacrifice!
Guardian women either have to give up their children or quit, have no income and become a "blood whore" (those that feed the Moroi - something that's looked down upon as beyond disgusting). I'm sorry. I vote for overthrowing the weak, pissy Moroi and ruling over them as tyrants. It definitely would be a more feasible option with less likelihood of me ending up screwed over.
The love story surprised me. I spent the entire book up until the last few pages thinking it was extremely gross, if not weird and awkward. I didn't and I still don't feel any chemistry between the main two love interests. They seem to be thrown together by the author with nothing real between them to make you think that they actually belong together. The last part of the book redeemed a lot of that for me though with the encouraging decisions made by the male romantic lead.
Over all, it's not a bad read if you're into teenage romances and school stories. The School aspect plays a major role in this book, particularly the politics of the average teen life. For those who were immensely glad to leave high school behind, this book may not be for you. ...more
Mr. Kennedy's thoughts on the Fever series (Please note, there will be spoilers):
Mr. Kennedy is standing around shirtless, wanting to discuss some of the aspects of the Fever series. I find it hard to concentrate.
[image] For goodness sake, Mr Kennedy! Take those sunglasses out of your mouth! I can't hear what you're saying!
Me: So what's your favourite part of the Fever series so far (He has read up to Dreamfever):
Mr Kennedy: I definitely like Mac better now. She isn't as boring. But she's still doing her inner monologue. That's still really - I mean, it just doesn't end. Does she ever stop doing that?
Me: No.
Mr Kennedy: Well, fine, but the sex is really good. That shit was hot.
Me: *Awkward silence* She got raped.
Mr Kennedy: What?! No!
*Interview interruption as Mr. Kennedy goes to check*
Mr Kennedy: Well, that's really embarrassing.
Me: It's okay, honey.
Mr Kennedy: I'm not a rapist.
Me: I know that.
Mr Kennedy: I mean, I thought it was sexy cause she seemed to like it. You know, like with V'lane.
Me: Yeah. So, moving on. What do you think about Barrons.
Mr Kennedy: Definitely the King of the Unseelie. I want that down on paper that I already figured it out.
Me: Right...
Mr Kennedy: Wait, did you add in the rapist thing? I don't want everyone thinking I'm a rapist. That's really embarrassing!
Me: Don't worry, babe. I won't add that part in.
Mr Kennedy: Good. So yeah, I like Barrons. He's cool.
Me: Oh, do you have a crush on him now?
Mr Kennedy: Yeah, you wish I did. Then you could watch us make out.
Me: Shut up!
Mr Kennedy: You're blushing! Write down that you're blushing! You want me to make out with Barrons! You want us to *profanities excluded*.
Mr Kennedy is falcon punched and wrestled down to finish the interview.
Me: What do you think of V'lane:
Mr Kennedy: That guy? He's a douche. I don't like men that try to buy people's affection. I mean, I get that he's supposed to be alien and everything but he's just trying to buy Mac with favours. That's stupid.
Me: Who do you think Mac's going to end up with?
Mr Kennedy: Barrons. No contest.
Me: You'd pick Barrons over V'lane?
Mr Kennedy: Is the right answer going to lead to sexy times? Oh shit. You're imagining us together right now, aren't you? You're so freaky.
Me: I am NOT!
[image] Must not think sexy thoughts
Me: So, how do you think it's all going to end?
Mr Kennedy: I think Mac is a fae princess. It's been alluded to. And it would be a flip out if Barrons was her father! That would just be creepy as. It isn't that hard to figure it out. Am I right? You know I'm right.
Me: Yes, darling, you're totally, totally right.
*The End*
My overall review of this series is that I really, really enjoy it. This series is addictive like crack.
Most certainly, it isn't a perfect set of novels. In fact, there are many aspects of it that would annoy me in other novels such as the sexualization of violence against Mac and the romanticizing of an overtly aggressive alpha male.
But my hormones demanded that I put these criticisms aside because... manflesh! Pretty, pretty manflesh! Yes, I too can be reduced to a quivering mass of lust induced hysteria.
The world building is great, the characterization is pretty good, the story line is interesting and involving.
All up, I recommend this series if you're looking for an Urban Fantasy to sink your teeth into.
Okay, so I seriously pondered over whether to give this book three stars or four. In the end, I DID enjoy it so I felt generous and gave it four, but Okay, so I seriously pondered over whether to give this book three stars or four. In the end, I DID enjoy it so I felt generous and gave it four, but it's not without its faults.
Once, when I was a little kid, my parents bought me my favourite ice cream. There's actually only one kind of ice cream that I actually like and that's mint choc chip. Only they bought this MASSIVE bowl of it with a banana in it and extra chocolate sauce. I can only guess that they'd finally decided to slowly kill me via diabetes, cholesterol and blood-pressure, and be rid of my annoying, argumentative, five-year-old ways.
I can promise that it almost worked and they were almost home free except they'd miscalculated one thing - my short attention span. Sure the ice cream was delicious and kept me entertained but there was just so much of it and the mint ice cream was just a little too much in ratio to the choc chip that I like and even the chocolate sauce couldn't entirely keep my concentration.
Well, Sunshine is a bit like that. It's good. It's really good. It's a vampire novel so it's pretty much RIGHT up my alley too and so by definition I should have really enjoyed this book.
There was really just the problem that there was too much useless narrative in ratio to the action and suspense. Sunshine would start babbling about some inane facet of life that had NOTHING to do with the story and doesn't really add anything to it. Now, if this was world building for a future novel I could have forgiven it, but I have heard, rather mournfully, that there will be no more to this series and that makes me very annoyed. Like when I lost interest in my mint choc chip ice cream at one interval and my evil parents had it whisked away by an annoyed waitress (I'll have my revenge one day!)
So whilst I enjoyed much of the book, I found myself falling asleep a lot because it would launch into these long stories like my 80 year old grandma does when you ask her how her day was.
Don't even get me started on how UNRESOLVED the end was. There were things I REALLY wanted to know. There were certain sexy scenes I REALLY wanted to read and there was information and intrigue that was left dangling! It's infuriating!
One good praise I would like to make for Sunshine is the reversal in a genre of a practice that baffles me. I've complained before that often in YA books, swearing and sex between the main characters doesn't really happen.
Yet rape and violence is often described and occurs, sometimes rather graphically.
Well, in this book the main character has sex with her long time boyfriend and it's a sweet nonevent - these positive and healthy examples of sex are good! Can we have more caring and loving and healthy relationships displayed for our youth like this, please?
There is one particular swearword I wished the book hadn't used (it starts with C and rhymes with bunt... figure it out.)
I really hate that word. But the two mentions of dick are cool with me - except Robin Cockblocking McKinley is a cockblocking temptress of doom and if you have read this book then you'll know why I say this!
Can someone explain to me why she is not continuing with Sunshine and Con? Please? Why? Why build all this world and have all this and cockblock us (Yes! That's exactly what you did!) only to leave us hanging? It's just rude. At this point I really wouldn't mind what would end out to be the literary equivalent of a pityfuck just to satisfy me and tie up all the freakin' loose ends!
Finally, I say I enjoyed this book. I did. Like my ice cream, it was just the kind of thing I liked. Too bad there was so much of it and at times it became work just to get through it and finally finish it. Over all, it was a really good serving of mint choc chip ice cream with a huge serving of cockblock.
I liked it, but I refuse to go on a date with Robin McKinley again unless she promises to put out....more
I watched Starship Troopers first. I found it amusing, gory, action based and fluffy. When I read the book I wondered if the directer/script writer haI watched Starship Troopers first. I found it amusing, gory, action based and fluffy. When I read the book I wondered if the directer/script writer had read the same one I had. Turns out that he never finished this book and made the story up as he saw fit. Suddenly everything made sense to me.
As far as pacing and plot go, you won't find any of that here. There isn't much of a plot to this book and the story arc, so to speak, is more like a low lying limbo poll. Straight and short.
What I absolutely loved about this book, though, is the characters and message to this book. Of course, Heinlein's theories about citizenship and government are seriously flawed. But they're fascinating (if you like that sort of thing) and the description of military life is both rich and well depicted. Of course, you have to have a passion for both the military AND theory of government to enjoy this book.
I discovered The Chronicles of Narnia when I was six years old halfway through my first year of school. I had discovered the joys of our school librarI discovered The Chronicles of Narnia when I was six years old halfway through my first year of school. I had discovered the joys of our school library and I still remember the day and the exact shelf where I found The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. It was the lowest shelf, the one that rested on the ground and I had to crouch down to wiggle the book out from amongst its peers. By the time I'd finished first grade I'd read them all and searched high and low for any book series that could be as wonderful and magical as this one had been.
Now I could dismiss my love of these books as some quaint, childhood memory that I was unwilling to let go of. Certainly that is a factor. However, the magic has never faded. I've read them all so many times that I've memorized them. I've memorized them so thoroughly that I've told them as bed time stories to children that I've done baby sitting for. Children who have loved the stories and begged to go to bed early so that they could hear MORE about Diggory and Polly or Lucy, Peter, Edmund and Susan or more about Shasta and Avaris and so on and so forth.
It's not just children, either. My husband and I read a book, a proper book for half an hour for our son every night. For the past month that has been The Chronicles of Narnia. It's gotten to the point where he doesn't want to stop. Our son's bedtime comes and goes and my husband insists on reading just a little bit more. He says things like, "I wish I'd read these as a child! They're fantastic!"
Are they perfect? No. The Last Battle is a hard and frustrating read. The Magician's Nephew is a little awkward. The Horse and His Boy is just a TAD controversial for some of its content. But they're so, so worth the read.
To me, there's a magic to these books that time and life has never managed to dim....more
I personally found that I enjoyed Ender's Shadow more than Ender's Game.
Perhaps because I found Bean, as a character, more relatable in how he analyzI personally found that I enjoyed Ender's Shadow more than Ender's Game.
Perhaps because I found Bean, as a character, more relatable in how he analyzes and views people and the world in general. He also felt more real as a character in that he is awkward and clueless and greatly flawed.
The pacing for this book is a little less smooth in comparison to Ender's Game. The plot, on the other hand, is a little better as you have a greater insight into the background workings of Ender's success. Graff and other characters come to life in a greater degree and have more personality and "air time". So too does Petra.
This is probably one of the better books I've ever read.
Despite the promise for some violence and gore, I would actually suggest it for a teenage audiThis is probably one of the better books I've ever read.
Despite the promise for some violence and gore, I would actually suggest it for a teenage audience and upward. The violence isn’t explicit and exists on the peripherals of what is otherwise a brilliant and captivating read.
The main character, Katniss, is incredible. She's strong, proud, clever, yet cold, calculating and soft. As far as great female characters go, she rivals Elizabeth Bennet and takes her thrown for my favourite ever. Where the Empress by Karen Miller was let down by a cold, calculating female character with no likeability, The Hunger Games is carried by Katniss' passion, determination and struggle.
The world itself seems unbelievable enough but if you can get past the concept of a government requiring a tribute of 12-18 year old boys and girls to take part in a gruesome bloodbath then you should be fine.
The supporting characters are rich and interesting. The world itself is three dimensional and tactile when reading and you will probably find yourself immersed in the science fiction world that doesn’t seem that distant from our own.
The plot and pacing never dulls and the end of the book may just cause heart palpitations as you race towards the end to discover who will survive and who will die.
The ending left me a little disconcerted but only because I wanted more. ...more
Empress is something different. Kudos to Karen Miller for doing something that I have been ranting about for too long. Creating a strong, resourceful Empress is something different. Kudos to Karen Miller for doing something that I have been ranting about for too long. Creating a strong, resourceful female protagonist. She does this in the form of Hekat, our eyes and ears to the unique world of Empress.
Now if only I could convince her to write a strong, resourceful female protagonist that I actually like.
The story is extremely well-written. The world that Karen Miller creates is something that many authors fail at: a world that is immersive. She manages to bring to life Hekat's surroundings in a way that is both artful and colourful.
Yes, sentences run on slightly at times and some parts seem unnecessary and repetitive, but you can excuse these things when the over all effect is that you can almost see, taste and smell what the narrator is telling you about.
Yet, like someone giving you the best foot massage of your life before ripping off your toenails, Hekat will undoubtedly ruin all Karen's hard work.
This is the fatal flaw of Empress. You can not have such a long story based on a protagonist so unlikable. Now, I don't mean that protagonists should always be perfect or even flirt with the side of wholesome, fluffy bunnies. But they must be either relatable, or likable despite their shortcomings. If you're going to be a ice-hearted wench then you need to at least have style and charm. Hekat wouldn't know charm or style if it rose in front of her from the ground and danced naked with a sparkly dildo while singing "I'm a Survivor!"
Hekat fails to carry her long, heavy narrative and it comes crashing down on top of her, spoiling what was otherwise a good read.
I originally wrote this review in a more innocent time. A time, if you can imagine, when I was a lot less cynical and a lot more likely to give books I originally wrote this review in a more innocent time. A time, if you can imagine, when I was a lot less cynical and a lot more likely to give books a break.
So I did the obligatory drool over the Black Dagger Brotherhood men whilst expressing frustration at the multiple POV's (SO MANY!). I complained about the content and nature of Wrath and Beth's relationship but let it slide because, hey it was just some light-hearted fun.
A couple of years ago I was at my mother's house when a large, terrifying spider began its battle charge toward me with murderous intent gleaming in its eyes (witness accounts may vary...)
In case you are unaware, I have a deep and unabidding terror of anything with more than six legs.
The spider racing toward me looked something like this:
[image] Nobody else at the scene of the event picks up details like I do...
Because she loves me (presumably) and to put a stop to my earsplitting girlie shrieks of "Kill it! Kill IIIIIIIIITTT!" (less presumably) my mother whacked it triumphantly with a shoe.
It is at this point that hundreds of small, though equally malevolent spider spawn emerged from the crushed remains of their mother, all equally intent on destroying me one little piece at a time.
[image] Each one was chanting this in their tiny babyspider voices as they rushed toward me with evil in their heart and malice in their eyes...
I count this as the most traumatic moment of my life. I find it extremely ironic that it was a vacuum cleaner, the bane of my life, that rescued me that night while I jumped on the couch in a fit of apoplectic terror.
And it is with equal terror that I look upon the undead spawn that has filled the market since Dark Lover first emerged into the reading sphere....more
***Warning: won't contain spoilers cause I didn't get far enough to give a fuck and discover anything worth spoiling.***
Okay, so let me get this out s***Warning: won't contain spoilers cause I didn't get far enough to give a fuck and discover anything worth spoiling.***
Okay, so let me get this out straight. I have never NOT finished a book before. Okay, I'm lying. The History of Sexuality Volume 1 by Michel Foucault remains unfinished as does Villette by Charlotte Bronte. Why? Because they were boring.
Because, as I read them, I wanted to take a cheese grater to my skull and rub vigorously just to have something to do!
But I have never NOT finished a Young Adult paranormal novel before. And I've read some BAAAAAD books. But I didn't finish this book because it goes beyond bad. It makes the History of Sexuality seem amazingly interesting and colourful.
To be fair to Ms. Clare, I was not actually "reading" her novel so much as listening to the Audiobook. The Narrator, Graynor, did a particularly craptastic job.
To be fair to Ms. Graynor, she didn't have much to work with. I tuned her out, I swear, I was focusing on the actual prose, taking in the story, trying to get interested. But the writing was terrible. It was painful. The characters were annoying.
Now, I've been fair to Ms. Clare and I've been fair to Mr. Graynor. So there's only you left to be fair to now.
And in order to do that, I have to admit that I wasn't EXPECTING to like this book. I was, however, expecting to be pleasantly surprised, and I'll explain why.
Many years ago, Cassandra Clare was Cassandra Clair - a VERY popular FF author in the Harry Potter and LoTR circles. I actually greatly enjoyed her Draco Trilogy. I've read it many times. I had heard that this book was very similar to DT and so I was expecting to find it to be a guilty pleasure. Something my moral compass told me to leave behind, but that I would actually enjoy too much to do so. But I was wrong.
Yeah, she plagiarized that work and I won't really go into it except to post a link because in the end, I'm not reviewing her, I'm reviewing her work.
But here's the problem. Jace is really just Draco from DT. Simon is really just Ron and Harry amalgamated into one. Clary is really just Ginny. The bad guys seems too much like good ol'Voldie. The plot is painfully similar to DT. It was like reading her old work all over again. And I think, because she was really just redressing her old characters, she didn't even both to give them any growth in this story.
To be honest, I didn't read far because the writing was boring (oh my lord, the similes! Someone save me from them) and poorly constructed; the characters were boring and poorly constructed and the plot was boring and poorly constructed.
I'd already read DT so I didn't need to read this....more
*This post was inspired by the fantastic videos over at www.howitshouldhaveended.com. Italicized text is the original pHow I Would Have Ended It
*This post was inspired by the fantastic videos over at www.howitshouldhaveended.com. Italicized text is the original publicized text from the book and is entirely the work of Becca Fitzpatrick.
This rendition is entirely satire. It is not meant to offend and I mean no discourtesy. I recognize that authors put a lot of time and work into their novels and I am not trying to disrespect that. Writing a novel is hard work and is something I have never done and I certainly don’t think I could do a better job. I am simply, with light-hearted intention, using humour and imagination to spark book discussion and fun and point out some issues I had with the novel.
And lastly, please don’t sue me. I have no money. And I have children to feed. And I have a cat to feed as well. You wouldn’t want a cat to go without food, would you? Also, pretty please with a cherry on top. I’ll be your friend?*
I was backed up against the counter, my palms digging into the edge. “You’re mad because I didn’t go to Delphic.” I raised one shaky shoulder. “Why Delphic, Patch? It’s Sunday night. Delphic will be closing soon. Any special reason you wanted me to drive to a dark, soon-to-be deserted amusement park?”
He walked toward me until he was standing close enough that I could see his black eyes beneath his ball cap.
“Dabria told me you have to sacrifice me to get a human body,” I said.
Patch was quiet a moment. “And you think I’d go through with it?”
I swallowed. “Then it’s true?”
Our eyes locked. “It has to be an intentional sacrifice. Simply killing you won’t do it.”
“Are you the only person who can do this to me?”
“No, but I’m probably the only person who knows the end result, and the only person who would attempt it. It’s the reason I came to school. I had to get close to you. I needed you. It’s the reason I walked into your life.”
I looked at him for a moment, his intense gaze shooting through me as I considered the information he’d just confirmed.
“Okay,” I said, straightening up and slipping out from his overbearing presence to put some space between us.
“Okay?”
“Okay, I’m out of here.”
“You can’t go!” Patch said, his face twisting into a confused expression.
“Well, you’ve pretty much admitted that you were going to kill me, in a very personal way, might I add. I think that justifies a quick and hasty exit,” I spat at him, straightening my outfit in indignation and standing up to him with more confidence than I felt.
Patch spluttered for a moment, blinking his eyes disbelievingly. “But… I wasn’t… I mean…” he looked lost for a moment before visibly collecting himself and slipping back into his usual, confident demeanor. “You want me to come clean, I will. I’ll tell you everything. Who I am and what I’ve done. Every last detail. I’ll dig it all up, but you have to ask. You have to want it. You can see who I was, or you can see who I am now. I’m not good,” he said, piercing me with eyes that absorbed all light but reflected none, “but I was worse.”
I arched an eyebrow and stared at him in disbelief. “Well, I have a different plan, Patch. Mainly revolving around the fact that you purposely entered my life in order to stalk, harass and murder me for your nefarious schemes. So I think this would be a pretty good time for you to quit the mysterious bullshit and be extremely transparent about everything I need to know. I mean, you haven’t even assured me, at this point, that you’re not actually going to kill me. And I don’t mean to harp on this point – but that’s a pretty important facet of this discussion for me.”
He stalked close to me again, affecting a brooding, intense expression and causing my heart to thud painfully in my chest. His boots were flush with the toes of my tennis shoes. “I’m not going to kill you, Nora. I don’t kill people who are important to me. And you top the list.”
I exerted considerable effort to contain an eyeroll, but it slipped through at the last minute. “You’re impinging on my private space,” I said, inching backward in distaste.
Patch gave a barely-there smile. “Impinging? This isn’t the SAT, Nora.”
I pressed my finger-tips to his chest. He glanced at the spot where we touched and then back up to my eyes. “If my vocabulary is causing you distress,” I whispered huskily, looking up to him with a wicked smile on my face, “then let me express my displeasure in the only way you seem to understand.”
Patch’s brow creased in confusion a moment before my heel came down hard on his instep. He hopped back in pain, looking at me with both hurt and bewilderment. “Personal boundaries, Patch. Respect them when I ask you to. See, I have this rule about letting would-be murderers within ten feet of my very stab-able body. Now, tell me. Is Dabria going to be coming after me.”
Patch, miraculously less interested in encroaching on my personal space, shrugged from where he was. “You could take her, Angel,” he said. “I’ve seen both of you in action,” he looked down at his injured foot and winked, “and my bet’s on you. You don’t need me for that.”
“I don’t think I need you for much of anything,” I sneered, turning on him and heading to the door.
“Door’s locked,” he said from behind me. “And we have unfinished business.”
“Listen, the only unfinished business we have is between my knee and your crotch if you come near me again.”
The cell phone in my pocket rang to life. “In fact,” I said as I pulled it out, “you’re going to go away and I don’t ever, EVER want to see your broody, mopey face again. You have forever cured me of badboys. When this is over, it’s strictly accounting nerds and banking types for me! This was absolutely the WORST way to punish my mother for her absence, assert my independence and act out my grief from losing my father. I should have just stolen money from my mother’s purse and bought alcohol like a NORMAL teenager!” I pressed the accept button on my cell. “What?!”
“Babe!” Vee said. We had a bad connection, the crackled of static cutting across her voice. “Where are you?”
“Where are you? Are you still with Elliot and Jules?” I flattened a hand against my free ear to hear better.
“I’m at school. We broke in,” she said in a voice that was naughty to perfection. “We want to play hide-and-seek but don’t have enough people for two teams. So… do you know of a fourth person who could come play with us?”
An incoherent voice mumbled in the background.
“Elliot wants me to tell you that if you don’t come be his partner –hang on- what?” Vee said into the background.
Elliot’s voice came on. “Nora? Come play with us. Otherwise, there’s a tree in the common area with Vee’s name on it.”
I groaned in disbelief and promised myself that if I survived this, I’d choose friends who weren’t complete and utter dumbasses.
“Who was that?” Patch asked.
I sighed heavily. “That was my brainless, dropkick friend phoning me to pass along the message that Elliot and Jules are going to murder her violently unless I go meet up with them.”
“What was that you were saying about never again seeing my broody, moping face?” Patch asked, his confidence returned trifold and an enormous grin spread across his face.
I resisted the urge to smash my face into the tiled wall repeatedly. “Oh, shut up and come on. I’ll probably end up nobly sacrificing myself and saving your ass anyway, so cut the shit, Patch.”
He unlocked and opened the door, letting me out ahead of him.
“Still going to settle for an accountant or banker?”
“You had better be so damn awesome in bed or I am going to stab you through the eye with your own literalized ego.”
“I have ninety-nine problems, Nora, but performance in the sack is NOT one of them.”
Outlander is not a book for everyone. I'll put that right out there. If you think you can stomach extreme sexual violence as well as themes of sadism Outlander is not a book for everyone. I'll put that right out there. If you think you can stomach extreme sexual violence as well as themes of sadism then go ahead. If you can understand good characters doing things in their historical context that would be seen as abuse now, then give it a try.
You won't be disappointed.
Gabaldon has finely crafted a novel that is radically different to the stereotype. This is no average love story. Her research is extensive and flawless; bringing to life a world that is rich and dynamic in detail and character.
Her prose a beautiful and well constructed and the characters. Where do I even start with the characters? They have depth. They're lovable. They're real.
The problem with this book lies in two aspects:
It's pacing. It's fantastic, non-stop drama and action right up to the last 200 pages or so where it trickles down to a grinding halt. The other problem with it is that many people are going to be uncomfortable with some of the things that happen in the book. Remembering the time difference and the culture that the male protagonist comes from is often hard when we judge his actions by today's standards.
But to readers who can over look these things, I highly recommend it as a book that is both incredibly well written, enjoyable and addictive.
I almost feel that the author wrote this book in two halves. The first half she wrote while at the pique of her ability and enthusiasm. The second halI almost feel that the author wrote this book in two halves. The first half she wrote while at the pique of her ability and enthusiasm. The second half she wrote while on some very impressive anti-depressants.
The first half of this book is sweet, wistful, beautiful and touching.
The second half of this book is heart breaking, depressing and sloppily written.
I finished this book wondering what the hell I'd actually gotten out of it. My not-so-startling conclusion was: nothing.
When I read a book, I like to come away with something - even if it's merely a story worth remembering to cherish in my mind, or a lesson well learned, or an experience I'll probably never have but I now felt as though I'd had.
This book offers none of that and I'm wondering why Ms. Niffenegger actually wrote it to begin with? What was she trying to say with this story?
Marriage sucks? Religion is for the young and naive? True love lasts until the first heart breaking obstacle?
Kat Kennedy
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