Life ? I Dont Know Her

Newtons 4th law is that for every "it's so over" there's an equal and opposite "we're so back"

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been doing a lot of thinking recently and i dont want to anymore

Moving out of the apartment

This is, without a doubt, the saddest photo I have ever seen in my ENTIRE LIFE.

STORY TIME!

So in undergrad, my bestie lived in a true shithole of an apartment. When he moved in, he threw a housewarming party and brought out a bunch of washable markers and let us all draw on the walls. Being a tribe of feral assholes, we started competing to see who could draw the most obnoxious/offensive things. IIRC, there was George Bush frenching Ronald Regan, a skeleton with tits, some very rude portraits of the pope, etc etc.

now one of our friends who I hope to god has gone to therapy since then shut himself up in the walk in closet and painted the entire back of the door. He wouldn’t let anyone see it til he was done, and guys, I had nightmares about it. He’d driven a lovecraftian monster like you wouldn’t believe. It had eyes where it shouldn’t have eyes, teeth where it shouldn’t have teeth, and no matter where you stood it looked at you. We were all suitably impressed and horrified.

Anyway four years later bestie moves out and repaints the entire apartment.

Years and years later, I was talking to him and brought up the closet door monster. he visibly paled and confessed “oh god, I forgot to paint the inside of the door”

That is an entire episode of the magnus archives right there

As someone who lost their father to cancer I feel this is very important to share. Please vote in 2024, and vote for those who care more about the people rather than bullshit politics.

(I don’t typically talk politics or world affairs but this hit me hard.)

The article:

watching sports with me is really difficult because all im doing is pointing at players i think are cute

watching movies with me is really difficult because all im doing is pointing at actors i think are cute

watching the olympics with me is AWESOME

Everyone meet ‘Slappy’ the wild sea lion that has gone viral on TikTok after begging tourists for peanut butter sandwiches 🤣

Watch Now: Beloved wild Sea Lion Slappy does her signature bark for a PB sandwich

Check out our list of the BEST memes about our favorite Instagram celebrity Slappy the seal

Wildlife authorities ruin internet’s fun by putting ban on feeding famous sea lion ‘Slappy’

- Top comment: Not me risking a class 2 wildlife felony to feed Slappy a peanut butter sandwich 😂☠️

Internet famous sea lion enjoys new meme craze “Outlaw Slappy” as her admirers continue to offer treats despite the ban from marine wildlife officials

Sad news out of Southern California today as the internet mourns beloved sea lion ‘Slappy’, who was put down by authorities after biting a child that was trying to feed her a sandwich.

I remember a heritage site example of this where there was a famous chapel somewhere in Europe that had a "no singing" rule for visitors. so naturally there are tons of videos of individuals, groups, and even whole choirs singing there, many of them with a tone of "take THAT, fun-suckers!"

I looked it up. it's an active monastery

the no singing rule is to not disturb the very real people living there and trying to go about their very real, scheduled daily lives

and even when that was pointed out, you STILL had comments like "well, they should enjoy the singing! it sounds nice!"

(it's the same with the No Touching rule at museums- assholes will try to get the perfect IG shot or TikTok touching a Greek statue or something because they're ~*just such a free spirit and can't be held down by stuffy rules*~ great job you contributed to ruining the statue for everyone else with your finger oils. thanks)

Ornate harp in the shape of Godzilla. Bratislava, Slovakia, 1367,

i say this every time i have to mow a lawn but literally mowing lawn is the most wasteful miserable task human beings are expected to do on a regular basis for no pay except for i guess ones i dont know about or am forgetting

like its comedically bad you take a big horrible loud machine that belches smoke and you drive it over the plants you deliberately keep in your yard whenever they look too happy and alive and the machine hurts them and cuts down the flowers and kills whatever tiny animals are hiding in the grass that cant get away and kicks dust and dirt into the air and when the area youre using the machine on looks like shit again youre done

Happy Gandalf gets to lick a graham cracker Monday

me every day without fail: I'll do [chore] when I get home

me when I get home:

me every single week: I'll do it on the weekend!

me the entire weekend:

all of us rn

this is the funniest fucking thing, god bless elton

(tw: f slur, even though it’s not really used in that context)

FULL VIDEO

you can see the EXACT moment where he decides oh this is going to be so fucking funny if i say this

Captions?????

Woman: …come to Dallas, I don’t want you to miss out on six flags, it’s a lot of fun

Elton: I’ve been to six flags in Kansas city… and I’ve been to six- heh, no I shouldn’t say this- *voice raised* six flags did you say? *both him and the crowd laugh* was there an L in it- yes there was yes… *laughter dies down* I must tell you a story, it’s an incredible story, it’s digressing totally, but…in England, in England a faggot… is an- is a sausage! And um… it’s a North country sausage- *phone beeps indicating the woman has hung up* oh! *crowd laughs*

Bernie: *laughing* she wasn’t interested! …she didn’t care!

Elton: *laughing* immediately now 7 million Warner Brothers people are running for the exits- no and this is true, a faggot is a North country sausage and it’s- I mean um… you know and there’s this firm in england, bird’s eye, who’re a frozen food company, and like, we arrive at London airport, all these poor old American tourists, they get off the plane at 6.30 in the morning and they walk down the corridor and the first thing they see is “HAVE BREAKFAST WITH A FAGGOT” *loses his mind laughing* *sputtering* but i usually turn them away- um-

life actually gets better when you leave the house consistently btw like im serious

if you don't know where to go, just wander! go to the store and don't buy anything, go to the library just to sit and do whatever you were going to do at home, go to a park and just walk around/sit outside for a bit (weather permitting, of course)

just put some headphones in and walk around the block a couple times if you really have nothing else to do, just getting a bit of air and change of scenery is so good for you

me the first few weeks of forcing myself to go on daily walks (it gets better tho)

i really need tumblr to learn the concept of “if you physically cannot do this then this post is not talking about you” because jesus christ.

@a-spectacular-pigeon you get it.

chinese reaction images are by far more visceral and just downright better than western ones

what is this even supposed to convey

I fully understand that last one

people always talk about leaving comments on ao3 like it's a nice thing to do, or the best way to encourage writers to keep writing, or overall like it's how you Do Your Part in fandom

and yeah, all those things are true, but having spent the past few months leaving enthusiastic comments on as many things as i can, i have a different perspective

you should leave comments on fics because it's fun

taking the time to stop and focus on what i like about a story has made me way more aware of what's going on in stories and what i like about them. there's bit more actual comprehension and appreciation and not just beaming content into my eyes to fill time

i like noticing cool little things in fics, or riffing on funny events. i've never been very good at speculating or picking apart characters, but sometimes something clicks and it rocks.

and of course it's pretty nice when you get a response and it's clear you've made another person happy

so yeah, you should leave comments for your own sake, too. it makes reading better!