Kemper's Reviews > The Last Policeman
The Last Policeman (The Last Policeman, #1)
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![405390](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1715435109p2/405390.jpg)
(I originally rated this three stars but after completing the entire trilogy and getting a much better idea about the character of Hank Palace, I've boosted it to four.)
Three men are playing cards when someone runs up and tells them that the world is ending. The first man says, “I’m going to go pray.” The second man says, “I’m going to get drunk and sleep with six whores. The third man says, “I will finish the game.”
I learned that little parable from Young Guns 2, and I kept thinking about it while reading this. It seems like you’d want to be the kind of person who would finish the game, but what if that meant everyone else has to keep going too so that they get stuck spending their last moments playing cards? Then that guy is kind of an asshole, and that’s the way I felt about Detective Hank Palace.
A giant asteroid named Maia is going to hit the Earth in about six months, and no one will survive the initial impact or the global after effects. Law and order still prevail, but the cracks are starting to show as cell phone networks are getting spotty and the Internet is failing. One of the biggest problems is that many people have ‘gone bucket list’ and are walking away from jobs to live out their dreams.
Hank Palace benefits from this because the numerous openings in the police department of Concord New Hampshire get him moved from a patrol officer with a year’s experience to detective which is what he’s always wanted to be. Unfortunately for him, the other cops in his squad have mentally checked out and most of the police work consists of cutting down the people who have hung themselves. When Hank is working what looks like another routine case of suicide in a fast food joint's restroom, he sees some oddities that make him think it’s a homicide, but no one except him seems to care.
This is a helluva an intriguing concept. I particularly liked how the fabric of society is portrayed as starting to fray at the edges. Most people who are working are doing so only because they need money to live until Maia hits so motivation levels are pretty low. One especially clever touch is that the US government has enacted emergency laws that allows citizens to be jailed without trial for minor offenses, and this means that getting arrested is essentially a death sentence since you’ll be held in a cell until the big boom. So while there is some black market stuff going on, the criminals are terrified of getting caught, and this has kept a lid on illegal activity.
The thing that dragged this story down for me was the character of Hank. He’s an earnest rule abider and eager young detective at a point where the rules don’t matter much and nobody really wants to investigate anything. He’s determined to finish the game, and that should make him admirable. The problem is that Hank’s dream was always to be a detective which means that he is living out his personal bucket list instead of seeming noble by carrying on with his duty. It’s also his way of avoiding dealing with the impending doom, and he never sees the irony when he repeatedly says, “A man is dead.” as a justification for his insistence on pushing the investigation when no one else cares.
And I gotta say, I’m kind of on the side of the other people in this book. Hank is oblivious to the impact his investigation has on anyone else. When he demands an autopsy, the coroner coldly tells him that she��s missing her daughter’s music recital to do it and asks him if he knows how many more recitals she’ll get to see. But Hank doesn’t care. A man is dead slightly ahead of the rest of the human race, and he’s determined to find out who did it even if he wastes the precious time of other people. To me, the cost was too high. (view spoiler)
This could have been interesting if Hank was played up as more of an obsessive jerk, and while there are a few moments like that, it still feels like the author was trying to say that Hank is the hero while everyone else is letting a little thing like the coming apocalypse turn them into a bunch of slackers
This was a great concept with an interesting angle on an end of the world story, but my dislike of the main character soured me quite a bit. I’m on the fence as to whether I’ll read the rest of the trilogy.
Also posted at Shelf Inflicted.
Three men are playing cards when someone runs up and tells them that the world is ending. The first man says, “I’m going to go pray.” The second man says, “I’m going to get drunk and sleep with six whores. The third man says, “I will finish the game.”
I learned that little parable from Young Guns 2, and I kept thinking about it while reading this. It seems like you’d want to be the kind of person who would finish the game, but what if that meant everyone else has to keep going too so that they get stuck spending their last moments playing cards? Then that guy is kind of an asshole, and that’s the way I felt about Detective Hank Palace.
A giant asteroid named Maia is going to hit the Earth in about six months, and no one will survive the initial impact or the global after effects. Law and order still prevail, but the cracks are starting to show as cell phone networks are getting spotty and the Internet is failing. One of the biggest problems is that many people have ‘gone bucket list’ and are walking away from jobs to live out their dreams.
Hank Palace benefits from this because the numerous openings in the police department of Concord New Hampshire get him moved from a patrol officer with a year’s experience to detective which is what he’s always wanted to be. Unfortunately for him, the other cops in his squad have mentally checked out and most of the police work consists of cutting down the people who have hung themselves. When Hank is working what looks like another routine case of suicide in a fast food joint's restroom, he sees some oddities that make him think it’s a homicide, but no one except him seems to care.
This is a helluva an intriguing concept. I particularly liked how the fabric of society is portrayed as starting to fray at the edges. Most people who are working are doing so only because they need money to live until Maia hits so motivation levels are pretty low. One especially clever touch is that the US government has enacted emergency laws that allows citizens to be jailed without trial for minor offenses, and this means that getting arrested is essentially a death sentence since you’ll be held in a cell until the big boom. So while there is some black market stuff going on, the criminals are terrified of getting caught, and this has kept a lid on illegal activity.
The thing that dragged this story down for me was the character of Hank. He’s an earnest rule abider and eager young detective at a point where the rules don’t matter much and nobody really wants to investigate anything. He’s determined to finish the game, and that should make him admirable. The problem is that Hank’s dream was always to be a detective which means that he is living out his personal bucket list instead of seeming noble by carrying on with his duty. It’s also his way of avoiding dealing with the impending doom, and he never sees the irony when he repeatedly says, “A man is dead.” as a justification for his insistence on pushing the investigation when no one else cares.
And I gotta say, I’m kind of on the side of the other people in this book. Hank is oblivious to the impact his investigation has on anyone else. When he demands an autopsy, the coroner coldly tells him that she��s missing her daughter’s music recital to do it and asks him if he knows how many more recitals she’ll get to see. But Hank doesn’t care. A man is dead slightly ahead of the rest of the human race, and he’s determined to find out who did it even if he wastes the precious time of other people. To me, the cost was too high. (view spoiler)
This could have been interesting if Hank was played up as more of an obsessive jerk, and while there are a few moments like that, it still feels like the author was trying to say that Hank is the hero while everyone else is letting a little thing like the coming apocalypse turn them into a bunch of slackers
This was a great concept with an interesting angle on an end of the world story, but my dislike of the main character soured me quite a bit. I’m on the fence as to whether I’ll read the rest of the trilogy.
Also posted at Shelf Inflicted.
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Reading Progress
February 1, 2013
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Started Reading
February 1, 2013
– Shelved
February 5, 2013
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Dan
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rated it 4 stars
Feb 01, 2013 08:46AM
![Dan Schwent](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1717605951p1/870755.jpg)
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![Kemper](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1715435109p1/405390.jpg)
You've made the critical error of thinking that I wouldn't lie to you just for my own amusement...
Kemper wrote: You've made the critical error of thinking that I wouldn't lie to you just for my own amusement..."
"Your knowledge of scientific biological transmogrification is only outmatched by your zest for kung-fu treachery!"
"Your knowledge of scientific biological transmogrification is only outmatched by your zest for kung-fu treachery!"
![Kemper](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1715435109p1/405390.jpg)
"Pimpin' been around since the world started turning. And it's gonna keep right on turning right along with it. Until this little planet rotates off its axis as a result of it's core overheating and explodes into cosmic dust! Can you dig it?"
...doesn't really apply, but I couldn't resist.
...doesn't really apply, but I couldn't resist.
![Kemper](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1715435109p1/405390.jpg)
I should have used that one on my Team of Rivals review...
Best use of Lincoln ever. Forget about that Vampire hunting nonsense.
"But Black Dynamite! I sell drugs to the community!"
"But Black Dynamite! I sell drugs to the community!"
![Kemper](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1715435109p1/405390.jpg)
I don't know how this thread turned into a Black Dynamite quote session, but I like it.
It's for the best.
"But I understood it to be a question that he was asking me. And I don't have to know how to speak Chinese to know what that question was. 'Why, Black Dynamite? Why?'"
"But I understood it to be a question that he was asking me. And I don't have to know how to speak Chinese to know what that question was. 'Why, Black Dynamite? Why?'"
![Kemper](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1715435109p1/405390.jpg)
"I'm sorry I pimp-slapped you into that china cabinet. I used excessive force. Oftentimes, I cross the line, but I try to do so in the name of what's right. Most of the time, the ends justifies the means. But in this case, I feel like I betrayed my own code of ethics. And for that, sugar, I apologize."
"This is true, but you did not connect. You shot a plate. Had you connected, pimp-slapping you into that china cabinet might have been justified. But I feel I crossed the line. And for that, please accept my apology."
Wait, were you and Dan quoting Archer and then I hijacked things with Black Dynamite?
Wait, were you and Dan quoting Archer and then I hijacked things with Black Dynamite?
![Kemper](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1715435109p1/405390.jpg)
Yes, but a Black Dynamite hijacking is always welcome.
"Code Kansas!"
I feel like a jerk now. For this slight against you, Dan, I apologize. I was not aware the quotes were from Archer seeing as I have not watched Archer. I feel I crossed the line. And for that, please accept my apology.
"And 785 is the area code to Topeka. Oh, my God. 785 is the area code to Topeka, Kansas!"
"And 785 is the area code to Topeka. Oh, my God. 785 is the area code to Topeka, Kansas!"
![Kemper](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1715435109p1/405390.jpg)
Movie Error Alert! - While the area code for Topeka is now 785, back in the 1970s when Black Dynamite was set, all of northern Kansas used a 913 area code.
"I know I was the best CIA agent that the CIA ever had, but I thought I told you honkies from the CIA that Black Dynamite was out of the game."
![Kemper](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1715435109p1/405390.jpg)
A classic like that? I'm sure it's referenced all the time on here.
![Dan Schwent](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1717605951p1/870755.jpg)
![Kemper](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1715435109p1/405390.jpg)
OK, just one:
"I sentence you to be hanged by the neck until dead, dead, dead. Do you have anything to say?"
"Yeah. You can go to hell, hell, hell."
![Dan Schwent](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1717605951p1/870755.jpg)
"Did you see the size of that chicken?"
![Kemper](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1715435109p1/405390.jpg)
"Did you see the size of that chicken?""
And the follow-up:
"Did you see the size of that cockle-doodle-goddamn-doo?"
![Dan Schwent](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1717605951p1/870755.jpg)
"We're in the spirit world, asshole. They can't see us!"
![Kemper](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1715435109p1/405390.jpg)
Of course I did.
![Chip](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1263648177p1/1622905.jpg)
![Dan Schwent](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1717605951p1/870755.jpg)
Kemper's out of town so I'll field this one. He won it in a Goodreads giveaway.
![Chip](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1263648177p1/1622905.jpg)
![Kemper](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1715435109p1/405390.jpg)
Most of the answers to life's big questions can be found in Young Guns and Young Guns 2.
![Kemper](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1715435109p1/405390.jpg)
Did you see the size of that cockle-doodle-goddamn-doo?!?
![Kemper](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1715435109p1/405390.jpg)
Thanks. I think that changes over the course of the trilogy and becomes one of their more interesting aspects of the story.
![Kemper](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1715435109p1/405390.jpg)
![Kemper](https://cdn.statically.io/img/images.gr-assets.com/users/1715435109p1/405390.jpg)
"We're in the spirit world, asshole!"
(I think we did this line already here, but it's still hilarious.)