Kemper's Reviews > The Last Policeman

The Last Policeman by Ben H. Winters
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really liked it
bookshelves: 2013, 5-0, apocalypse-now, crime-mystery

(I originally rated this three stars but after completing the entire trilogy and getting a much better idea about the character of Hank Palace, I've boosted it to four.)

Three men are playing cards when someone runs up and tells them that the world is ending. The first man says, “I’m going to go pray.” The second man says, “I’m going to get drunk and sleep with six whores. The third man says, “I will finish the game.”

I learned that little parable from Young Guns 2, and I kept thinking about it while reading this. It seems like you’d want to be the kind of person who would finish the game, but what if that meant everyone else has to keep going too so that they get stuck spending their last moments playing cards? Then that guy is kind of an asshole, and that’s the way I felt about Detective Hank Palace.

A giant asteroid named Maia is going to hit the Earth in about six months, and no one will survive the initial impact or the global after effects. Law and order still prevail, but the cracks are starting to show as cell phone networks are getting spotty and the Internet is failing. One of the biggest problems is that many people have ‘gone bucket list’ and are walking away from jobs to live out their dreams.

Hank Palace benefits from this because the numerous openings in the police department of Concord New Hampshire get him moved from a patrol officer with a year’s experience to detective which is what he’s always wanted to be. Unfortunately for him, the other cops in his squad have mentally checked out and most of the police work consists of cutting down the people who have hung themselves. When Hank is working what looks like another routine case of suicide in a fast food joint's restroom, he sees some oddities that make him think it’s a homicide, but no one except him seems to care.

This is a helluva an intriguing concept. I particularly liked how the fabric of society is portrayed as starting to fray at the edges. Most people who are working are doing so only because they need money to live until Maia hits so motivation levels are pretty low. One especially clever touch is that the US government has enacted emergency laws that allows citizens to be jailed without trial for minor offenses, and this means that getting arrested is essentially a death sentence since you’ll be held in a cell until the big boom. So while there is some black market stuff going on, the criminals are terrified of getting caught, and this has kept a lid on illegal activity.

The thing that dragged this story down for me was the character of Hank. He’s an earnest rule abider and eager young detective at a point where the rules don’t matter much and nobody really wants to investigate anything. He’s determined to finish the game, and that should make him admirable. The problem is that Hank’s dream was always to be a detective which means that he is living out his personal bucket list instead of seeming noble by carrying on with his duty. It’s also his way of avoiding dealing with the impending doom, and he never sees the irony when he repeatedly says, “A man is dead.” as a justification for his insistence on pushing the investigation when no one else cares.

And I gotta say, I’m kind of on the side of the other people in this book. Hank is oblivious to the impact his investigation has on anyone else. When he demands an autopsy, the coroner coldly tells him that she��s missing her daughter’s music recital to do it and asks him if he knows how many more recitals she’ll get to see. But Hank doesn’t care. A man is dead slightly ahead of the rest of the human race, and he’s determined to find out who did it even if he wastes the precious time of other people. To me, the cost was too high. (view spoiler)

This could have been interesting if Hank was played up as more of an obsessive jerk, and while there are a few moments like that, it still feels like the author was trying to say that Hank is the hero while everyone else is letting a little thing like the coming apocalypse turn them into a bunch of slackers

This was a great concept with an interesting angle on an end of the world story, but my dislike of the main character soured me quite a bit. I’m on the fence as to whether I’ll read the rest of the trilogy.

Also posted at Shelf Inflicted.
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Reading Progress

February 1, 2013 – Started Reading
February 1, 2013 – Shelved
February 5, 2013 – Finished Reading

Comments Showing 1-47 of 47 (47 new)

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message 1: by Dan (new) - rated it 4 stars

Dan Schwent Your review will determine whether I read this or not. No pressure.


Kemper Dan wrote: "Your review will determine whether I read this or not. No pressure."

You've made the critical error of thinking that I wouldn't lie to you just for my own amusement...


message 3: by Dan (new) - rated it 4 stars

Dan Schwent Lie to me and you'll be heading int the Danger Zone.


Kemper It might be some kind of ruse.


message 5: by Dan (new) - rated it 4 stars

Dan Schwent The 1930's called. They want their word back, along with their shitty airplane.


Kemper That Hitler is a bad egg...


message 7: by [deleted user] (new)

Kemper wrote: You've made the critical error of thinking that I wouldn't lie to you just for my own amusement..."

"Your knowledge of scientific biological transmogrification is only outmatched by your zest for kung-fu treachery!"


Kemper "At long last, our friendship bonded by the struggle against The Man has been brought to an end by kung-fu treachery!"


message 9: by [deleted user] (new)

"Pimpin' been around since the world started turning. And it's gonna keep right on turning right along with it. Until this little planet rotates off its axis as a result of it's core overheating and explodes into cosmic dust! Can you dig it?"

...doesn't really apply, but I couldn't resist.


Kemper "I swear on the ghost of Abraham Lincoln, I'm coming to emancipate and proclamate on your ass!"

I should have used that one on my Team of Rivals review...


message 11: by [deleted user] (new)

Best use of Lincoln ever. Forget about that Vampire hunting nonsense.


"But Black Dynamite! I sell drugs to the community!"


message 12: by Kemper (last edited Feb 02, 2013 12:07PM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

Kemper "Ha ha! I threw that shit before I even walked in the room!"

I don't know how this thread turned into a Black Dynamite quote session, but I like it.


message 13: by [deleted user] (new)

It's for the best.

"But I understood it to be a question that he was asking me. And I don't have to know how to speak Chinese to know what that question was. 'Why, Black Dynamite? Why?'"


Kemper I agree.

"I'm sorry I pimp-slapped you into that china cabinet. I used excessive force. Oftentimes, I cross the line, but I try to do so in the name of what's right. Most of the time, the ends justifies the means. But in this case, I feel like I betrayed my own code of ethics. And for that, sugar, I apologize."


message 15: by [deleted user] (new)

"This is true, but you did not connect. You shot a plate. Had you connected, pimp-slapping you into that china cabinet might have been justified. But I feel I crossed the line. And for that, please accept my apology."

Wait, were you and Dan quoting Archer and then I hijacked things with Black Dynamite?


Kemper Anthony wrote: "Wait, were you and Dan quoting Archer and then I hijacked things with Black Dynamite? "

Yes, but a Black Dynamite hijacking is always welcome.

"Code Kansas!"


message 17: by [deleted user] (new)

I feel like a jerk now. For this slight against you, Dan, I apologize. I was not aware the quotes were from Archer seeing as I have not watched Archer. I feel I crossed the line. And for that, please accept my apology.

"And 785 is the area code to Topeka. Oh, my God. 785 is the area code to Topeka, Kansas!"


Kemper Anthony wrote: ""And 785 is the area code to Topeka. Oh, my God. 785 is the area code to Topeka, Kansas!"

Movie Error Alert! - While the area code for Topeka is now 785, back in the 1970s when Black Dynamite was set, all of northern Kansas used a 913 area code.

"I know I was the best CIA agent that the CIA ever had, but I thought I told you honkies from the CIA that Black Dynamite was out of the game."


message 19: by Dan (new) - rated it 4 stars

Dan Schwent This has to be the only review on Goodreads with a Young Guns II reference in it.


Kemper Dan wrote: "This has to be the only review on Goodreads with a Young Guns II reference in it."

A classic like that? I'm sure it's referenced all the time on here.


message 21: by Dan (new) - rated it 4 stars

Dan Schwent Other than that parable, the only parts I remember are Chavez getting a knife through his forearm and Doc getting shot quite a few times covering everyone else's escape.


Kemper I could quote both movies almost in their entirety but I'm a little worn out from all the Black Dynamite and Archer on here.

OK, just one:

"I sentence you to be hanged by the neck until dead, dead, dead. Do you have anything to say?"

"Yeah. You can go to hell, hell, hell."


message 23: by Dan (new) - rated it 4 stars

Dan Schwent My favorite line in the first one happens when they are all tripping on mushrooms.

"Did you see the size of that chicken?"


Kemper Dan wrote: "My favorite line in the first one happens when they are all tripping on mushrooms.

"Did you see the size of that chicken?""


And the follow-up:

"Did you see the size of that cockle-doodle-goddamn-doo?"


message 25: by Dan (new) - rated it 4 stars

Dan Schwent "Hey Chavez, how come they ain't killing us?"
"We're in the spirit world, asshole. They can't see us!"


Kemper "He ain't all there, is he?"


Brandon Such an awesome concept but do I need to let you know that you, "missed the point".


Kemper Brandon wrote: "Such an awesome concept but do I need to let you know that you, "missed the point"."

Of course I did.


message 29: by Adam (new) - rated it 5 stars

Adam I really liked your review.


Kemper Adam wrote: "I really liked your review."

Thanks!


message 31: by Chip (new) - rated it 4 stars

Chip How/where did you get book three? I just read one and two, and immediately sought to download book three - but it doesn't come out until middle of next month.


message 32: by Dan (new) - rated it 4 stars

Dan Schwent Chip wrote: "How/where did you get book three? I just read one and two, and immediately sought to download book three - but it doesn't come out until middle of next month."

Kemper's out of town so I'll field this one. He won it in a Goodreads giveaway.


message 33: by Chip (new) - rated it 4 stars

Chip Cool. I'd ask how to become eligible for that, but I'd probably end up winning the collected works of Terry Goodkind.


Jessica T. lol young guns?!?!


message 35: by Kemper (last edited Jul 09, 2014 09:00AM) (new) - rated it 4 stars

Kemper Jessica wrote: "lol young guns?!?!"

Most of the answers to life's big questions can be found in Young Guns and Young Guns 2.


message 36: by Dan (new) - rated it 4 stars

Dan Schwent Did you know we're in the spirit world?


Kemper Dan wrote: "Did you know we're in the spirit world?"

Did you see the size of that cockle-doodle-goddamn-doo?!?


David Kazzie your point that Palace is living out his own bucket list kind of blew my mind. Great observation.


Kemper David wrote: "your point that Palace is living out his own bucket list kind of blew my mind. Great observation."

Thanks. I think that changes over the course of the trilogy and becomes one of their more interesting aspects of the story.


Sheila this looks really interesting. also I've never seen either young guns movies...


Kemper In addition to being two of the finest movies ever made, the Young Guns films hold the answers to most of life's puzzles.


message 42: by Dan (new) - rated it 4 stars

Dan Schwent Hey, Chavez, how come they ain't killin' us?


Kemper Dan wrote: "Hey, Chavez, how come they ain't killin' us?"

"We're in the spirit world, asshole!"

(I think we did this line already here, but it's still hilarious.)


message 44: by Dan (new) - rated it 4 stars

Dan Schwent It's still funny almost two years later.


message 45: by Cole Klotz (new)

Cole Klotz kemper i like your reveiw annd your profile pic.


Carmen Great review.


message 47: by Lizabeth (new)

Lizabeth Tucker Thank you. I did have this on my TBR list, but after reading your review, I took it off.


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