If Andrew Vachss did his books Sesame Street style, then this one would be brought to you by the letter M because in addition to Max, Michelle, Mama aIf Andrew Vachss did his books Sesame Street style, then this one would be brought to you by the letter M because in addition to Max, Michelle, Mama and the Mole, he adds characters named Mortay, McGowan, Morelli, Morales and Marques. Of course, if Vachss did Sesame Street then Bert and Ernie would turn out to be pedophiles that would lure Elmo into their house with promises of candy while Big Bird filmed it. And you don't even want to know what that freak Mr. Snuffleupagus would be doing.
Vachss’s hero Burke is back for another lighthearted and fun-filled adventure in a glittering New York filled with rainbows and unicorns. Someone has been rolling around in a van and randomly shooting prostitutes. A stripper named Belle contacts Burke to arrange a meeting with a pimp who wants to offer a bounty on the so called Ghost Van. Burke accepts the gig and strikes up a relationship with Belle. Since this is a Vachss novel, Belle turns out to have a history messed up enough to keep Dr. Phil booked for years.
Things take a dark turn when Burke’s friend Prof is badly injured while making inquiries on the street about the van. Prof’s attacker was a crazy kung-fu master named Mortay who wants to draw their buddy Max into a fight to the death. Burke scrambles to protect Max, learn Mortay’s connection to the Ghost Van and deal with his new romance.
While I generally like the Burke novels, they wear me down. Burke’s world is a relentlessly grim place with freaks and criminals waiting around every corner. While I like the idea of this urban survivor living off the grid and working these crazy jobs, the stories are just so goddamn bleak that I don’t dare read them too often lest I fall into a dark depression that would leave me weeping under the covers for days at a time.
I had a lot of other problems with this one, too. Far too much time is spent with his relationship with Belle. Essentially they instantly fall in love, and Burke is showing her every aspect of his life which doesn’t really fit with the character's paranoid nature. And as you’d expect from two people with traumatic issues in their childhoods, their relationship is pretty fucked up. She’s needy and constantly demanding more while Burke is always instructing her on how he expects his woman to behave. And of course (view spoiler)[ Belle ends up sacrificing her life for Burke at the end. Was it even necessary? Didn’t seem like it. (hide spoiler)]
This relationship stuff was almost enough to get me to drop this to two stars but one of Burke’s crazy and ultra-violent scams to draw out Mortay was enough to bump it back up to three. ...more
I’ve read a few of the Burke novels by Andrew Vachss so I knew there was a good chance that this book was probably as depressing as watching a puppy dI’ve read a few of the Burke novels by Andrew Vachss so I knew there was a good chance that this book was probably as depressing as watching a puppy die from cancer. So I decided to brighten it up by scoring some black market anti-depressants off the internet. Here are my observations after taking a double handful of pills along with a couple of shots of Wild Turkey and then reading:
- Why did I think this would be depressing? Burke’s New York is a magical city filled with kind, helpful people and there’s a rainbow on every street corner.
- Burke and his friend Max go to the park to play hide-n-seek. Then they meet a new friend who is watching a woman jog. That’s nice. Oh, no! The new friend has a hurt arm now.
- Burke lives in a special super-secret clubhouse with his dog Pansy, and Burke has taught her all kinds of tricks. Pansy is a good dog, and she loves Burke even though she has to poop on the roof.
- Burke has a fast car! Vroom! Vroom! And it has special secrets too. Shh!! Don’t tell anyone.
- This woman wants Burke to help her find a picture, and she’ll give him money to do it. He’ll be able to use the money to buy treats for Pansy!
- Burke’s friend Mole lives in junkyard and makes funny gadgets.
- Burke’s friend Michelle is a man who dresses like a woman. That’s silly! And she meets lots of new friends every night when she just walks down the street. Why, men just pull their cars over and ask Michelle to take a ride with them. Then they give her money. Michelle must be really nice because lots of men want to be her friend.
- Now Burke goes to see another old friend he met in a place called prison. Burke’s friend was in a club called neo-Nazi’s. They’ve got their own nifty tattoos for being in the club.
- The woman who hired Burke gives him extra special kisses for being so helpful.
- Burke finds out that the picture shows a little boy and a clown in a basement. How fun! They probably played games and the clown made balloon animals and maybe they had milk and cookies while….Wait. What’s that clown doing to that kid? Oh, shit.
- I think the pills are wearing off.
- The darkness. Oh sweet lord, the darkness.
- KILL THEM, BURKE! KILL THEM ALL! SEND THEM ALL STRAIGHT TO HELL!
You say you want a hard-boiled gritty crime novel? Well, you can read Andrew Vachss’s series about Burke, but you better stock up on anti-depressants You say you want a hard-boiled gritty crime novel? Well, you can read Andrew Vachss’s series about Burke, but you better stock up on anti-depressants and be prepared to give up any faith in humanity you might have.
Burke is a lot of things. A former mercenary, a scam artist, an ex-convict, and an unlicensed sort-of private detective, but he thinks of his full-time occupation as survivor. Raised as an orphan in foster care and jail, Burke now gives new meaning to the word ‘paranoid’. His office/apartment is booby-trapped and guarded by his beloved attack dog, Pansy. He puts a huge amount of effort into false identities and living off the grid. Even his car is tricked out like the Batmobile.
Burke is approached by a woman named Flood. She had been studying martial arts in Japan but returned to the U.S. to avenge the daughter of her best friend who was the victim of a child predator. She came to the right guy because while Burke usually only cares about his dog, his money and his very small circle of friends, the one thing that will make him go to war are freaks who hurt children. To help Flood find the guy, Burke will use all his contacts in New York’s underground and call in his buddies for assistance.
The Burke novels are so intense and dark that reading them leaves me depressed and tired. Burke sees the world as a never-ending game between the smart survivors like him, the predators, and the plain citizens who are almost too stupid to live according to him. It makes for an interesting character, but his constant paranoia, and the idea that a criminal is lurking in every crack and crevice of New York wears me down.
Plus, almost all the books involve crimes against children. (No surprise if you go and check the biography on the author, Vachss. I especially like his eye patch in his older pictures.) But that makes all of the Burke books a tough read even though they're good crime novels.
On a side note: Ever notice how sometimes an author will seem to get stuck on a certain letter when naming characters? Vachss went absolutely nuts on the letter ‘M’ in this one. You’ve got: Max, Mama, Michelle, Margot, the Mole and the Mouse. After a while I started thinking the main character’s name was Murke. ...more
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