Travel: YOU & Yours; Time Off advice from Parentline Plus.

I HAD my second baby, a girl, four months ago and since then my three-year-old daughter has started to play up. She has begun to act babyishly again and is having tantrums. Is there anything my partner and I can do to stop her feeling pushed out?

MANY children experience feelings of jealousy towards their new brother or sister and may convey these feelings through behaving regressively - resorting to more 'babyish' behaviour, such as having tantrums or refusing to use the potty, even though they have been successfully potty-trained for a while.

This is all perfectly natural and is their way of expressing their feelings of frustration, and confusion about their role in your life and their place in the family.

By responding with patience and understanding, your daughter will start to feel secure again and know that by making room for a new member of the family, she is not giving up her place or getting any less love from you.

This will help herto accept the baby and start to see that she is also part of their life, in her role as big sister.

Even if your daughter appears to be capable of doing many things for herself, she still needs your love, attention and interest just as much as before - maybe now more than ever.

Try to spend some time alone with your older daughter on a regular basis so she doesn't feel she needs to compete for your attention.

You could get out your daughter's baby pictures and look through them with her, so that she can remember how she too had all the same attention and care that the new baby is receiving.

Allow herto play an active role in the new baby's life by letting her help to change a nappy or helping to get the baby dressed.

As your baby gets bigger, don't make comparisons between your children like "I wish you'd eat up all your food like your baby sister does."

This may make your daughter feel she's not good enough.

Say what you want from her such as "Try and eat and bit more, then you can go and watch TV."

Once she gets over the initial jealousy of having to share her parents, there is no reason why she shouldn't learn to live with her new sister.

Parentline Plus runs a free 24-hour Parentline - 0808 800 2222' email [email protected] and has a helpful website www.parentlineplus.org.uk

To find out more about the free parents groups being run in the Liverpool area telephone 0151 2017876 or 0151298 2203.

Or write, in confidence, to: Janet Tansley, Liverpool Echo, PO Box 48, Old Hall Street, Liverpool L69 3EB.

Article Details

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Title Annotation:	Features
Publication:	Liverpool Echo (Liverpool, England)
Date:	Jan 16, 2007
Words:	451
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