First things first.

Notes on life by a Notebooker

Name: Flavia Bertolini

Lives: A Londoner born and bred (despite all those vowels in my surname).

About me: I own 99 dresses. I am obsessed with hip-hop and pencils (geek). I think I am well funny. Some days my hair is bigger than me.

Let us know what you think on Twitter at @notebooklive

'Did you know that there is now a whole movement of people who believe the Earth is flat?

They're called the Flat Earthers (more like Flat Heads) and despite there being books, the internet and clever people who try to dissuade them, they insist it is a conspiracy theory to get more taxes out of us. They also think stars are holes in a big dome that covers the Earth, which is actually a disc. Yes, I know it doesn't make sense. No, I don't understand it either. Yes, I am telling the truth. No, I don't know what is wrong with them. Yes, people really are just that stupid.

Now, I love to entertain a conspiracy theory as much as the next girl. The flags on the Moon are waving around, but there should be zero gravity? Down with that! The Badge Man on the Grassy Knoll was actually an FBI sniper? I'll go along with it! There really is a cure for cancer, but keeping people sick just makes too much money? OH YES, I'LL SIGN UP FOR THAT ONE. But this? The Earth is flat? Just no.

Some conspiracy theories make perfect sense to me. Any time someone is murdered because they were getting too outspoken, or wanted to change the world (cough-cough, Malcolm X, cough-cough) or somebody is going to lose a lot of money, I'm inclined to believe it, and I think challenging the information we are given is important for humans. Honestly, we need to feel that paranoia, we need to stay alert and not blindly believe the government has our best interests at heart, and when we disagree with the idiots in charge and get called conspiracy theorists, suck it up because it can be a badge of honour. It CAN actually mean we are thinking for ourselves and might be on to something.

But now these Flat Heads are showing us all up. And you know who else is? Cha g we suc ho thin uC Conspiracy theorists who go around saying Avril Lavigne and Beyonce have been replaced by clones. I'm just going to leave that there. Because, well, no words.

So, keep them weird yes, but keep them dangerous, keep them controversial, keep them anti-government. Shut up about flat Earth and clones. Those kinds of conspiracy theories are a conspiracy theory against real conspiracy theories. Now I need to lie down.'

Clones? What clones? Tee hee... Turn the lights up a bit, mate