What do you think?
Rate this book
Hey, Hun: Sales, Sisterhood, Supremacy, and the Other Lies Behind Multilevel Marketing
She signed up for the sisterhood, free cars, and the promise of a successful business of her own. Instead, she ended up with an addiction, broken friendships, and the rubble of a toppled pyramid . . . scheme.
Hey, Hun: Sales, Sisterhood, Supremacy, and the Other Lies Behind Multilevel Marketing is the eye-opening, funny, and dangerous personal story of author Emily Lynn Paulson rising to the top of the pyramid in the multilevel marketing (MLM) world only to realize that its culture and business practices went beyond a trendy marketing scheme and into the heart of white supremacy in America. A significant polemic on how MLMs operate, Hey, Hun expertly lays out their role in the cultural epidemic of isolation and the cult-like ideologies that course through their trainings, marketing, and one-on-one interactions. Equally entertaining and smart, Paulson’s first-person accounts, acerbic wit, and biting commentary will leave you with a new perspective on those “Hey Hun” messages flooding your inbox.
Hey, Hun: Sales, Sisterhood, Supremacy, and the Other Lies Behind Multilevel Marketing is the eye-opening, funny, and dangerous personal story of author Emily Lynn Paulson rising to the top of the pyramid in the multilevel marketing (MLM) world only to realize that its culture and business practices went beyond a trendy marketing scheme and into the heart of white supremacy in America. A significant polemic on how MLMs operate, Hey, Hun expertly lays out their role in the cultural epidemic of isolation and the cult-like ideologies that course through their trainings, marketing, and one-on-one interactions. Equally entertaining and smart, Paulson’s first-person accounts, acerbic wit, and biting commentary will leave you with a new perspective on those “Hey Hun” messages flooding your inbox.
384 pages, Hardcover
First published May 30, 2023
About the author
Emily Lynn Paulson
4 books136 followersEmily Lynn Paulson is the author of Hey Hun and Highlight Real, is a speaker, and the founder of Sober Mom Squad. She has given two powerful TEDx talks, both challenging the status quo of parenting, alcohol use, and feminism as we know it. Paulson has also been featured in major publications such as the Today Show, New York Times, Washington Post, The Seattle Times, Chicago Tribune, Next Question with Katie Couric, and the Tamron Hall Show. She lives in Central Oregon with her husband and their five children.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 29 of 1,751 reviews
May 17, 2023
If you want half LuLaRich, half Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism then Emily Lynn Paulson's Hey, Hun is for you. Paulson offers an interesting (and rarely seen) perspective as someone who made it to the top of the pyramid. She blends reporting and scholarship with memoir in a way that is true to her authorial voice. It's a fun read, even if, in the year of our four-part-investigative-docuseries 2023, there's nothing groundbreaking.
There were certain places where the narrative fell flat, relying on the very "bossbabe" rhetorical tactics she decries; she repeats how racist MLMs can be, without digging into what that practically means, and suggests she's stepping back from social media to take action in her community (against racism, I think), but again fails to expand on any actual effort she's undertaken. She repeats these talking points that are now pretty common across social media threads, but doesn't sufficiently unpack them or their impact on her experience (if any). The pithy subtitle suggests there will be a detailed takedown, but Paulson maintains a decidedly moderate stance; she does not leave the MLM, coasting on the work of her downline and pulling in $15k/month. This was probably the part that felt the most out of touch. She expresses guilt for encouraging people to stick with it because it will help her bottom line while explaining that she had to get rid of the au pair.
I do have more significant reservations. As the book closes, Paulson suggests that she is out of the MLM life for good because she now recognizes its harm. She has instead turned her attention to life/sobriety coaching, which she admits can be a predatory field. She suggests that her certificate program was rigorous, but fails to name it. She then launches her newest venture, a paid subscription service to help sober moms find support and community (hang on...isn't that exactly how she said people got lured into MLMs?). This final sales pitch just hit me wrong and rang hollow. You can take the woman out of the MLM, but you can't take the boss out of the babe.
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an advance copy in exchange for a review!
There were certain places where the narrative fell flat, relying on the very "bossbabe" rhetorical tactics she decries; she repeats how racist MLMs can be, without digging into what that practically means, and suggests she's stepping back from social media to take action in her community (against racism, I think), but again fails to expand on any actual effort she's undertaken. She repeats these talking points that are now pretty common across social media threads, but doesn't sufficiently unpack them or their impact on her experience (if any). The pithy subtitle suggests there will be a detailed takedown, but Paulson maintains a decidedly moderate stance; she does not leave the MLM, coasting on the work of her downline and pulling in $15k/month. This was probably the part that felt the most out of touch. She expresses guilt for encouraging people to stick with it because it will help her bottom line while explaining that she had to get rid of the au pair.
I do have more significant reservations. As the book closes, Paulson suggests that she is out of the MLM life for good because she now recognizes its harm. She has instead turned her attention to life/sobriety coaching, which she admits can be a predatory field. She suggests that her certificate program was rigorous, but fails to name it. She then launches her newest venture, a paid subscription service to help sober moms find support and community (hang on...isn't that exactly how she said people got lured into MLMs?). This final sales pitch just hit me wrong and rang hollow. You can take the woman out of the MLM, but you can't take the boss out of the babe.
Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for an advance copy in exchange for a review!
June 20, 2023
Hmm. I think this author thinks that she came across as more sympathetic then she actually did. The first half of the book was really interesting. I liked seeing how the author originally got involved in the MLM and how she was able to rise to the top so quickly. In general, I thought this book was best when it was the most specific. I really loved the snippets of testimonials from former MLM representatives at the beginning of each chapter. Honestly, I would’ve liked more of those.
The author did lose me in the second half of the book. It was really hard to maintain my interest in her personal life and internal struggle when she openly admits that she knew the company she was working for was unethically structured, but continued to profit from it. She admits that she was making as much as and sometimes more than 40K per paycheck while she knew people in her downline were either making no profit or actively adding to their debt. It made it very hard to sympathize with her while she repeatedly delayed leaving the MLM and for several years, her active rebellion was to do less work, and “put rejuvenate on auto pilot“ while letting her downlink risk and lose more and more money and still recruit people.
Eventually, she did leave and she did write this book which I think will reach a specific segment of white women in her class strata. But I’m not sure it has a lot of reach beyond that and there are an awful lot of MLM critiques and resources that are available for free online, and now she gets to be a bit of a martyr. Idk, I just feel kinda weird about the whole thing.
And honestly, I think it was chickenshit of her to use a fake name for the MLM. By all means, protect the identity of the individuals that you’re talking about by changing names and combining details. But the company deserves to be put on blast so that other people can protect themselves.
With all of that said, and I know it was a lot, I did finish this book and only two days which says a lot about its consumable prose and conversational writing style. Parts of it are very juicy and again I thought the parts that were the most specific were the most useful. I was really interested in the parts of the book that get into how MLM’s rigged their finances. Surprisingly, I found the sections on expenses and profit loss statements to be some of the most interesting parts of the book. And the authors struggle with substance abuse disorder was legitimately emotional and well written. Although, I have reservations about her remaining in the coaching space which she admits is also made up of grifters. She claims to actually be trained, but doesn’t list any of her credentials and at this point I don’t really trust her.
I also feel like the sensitivity readers may have had a heavy hand in sections of this book, which I appreciate, but weren’t written to sound successfully authentic from the author.
I didn’t hate the book and I don’t hate the author, but I did find a lot of this book frustrating. I think it will find the most traction in the hands of readers most like the author, namely centrist wealthy white moderates. For that audience, I think it will be a gentle pressure in the right direction, but I think it will have limited utility elsewhere and left me personally feeling a grumpy.
The author did lose me in the second half of the book. It was really hard to maintain my interest in her personal life and internal struggle when she openly admits that she knew the company she was working for was unethically structured, but continued to profit from it. She admits that she was making as much as and sometimes more than 40K per paycheck while she knew people in her downline were either making no profit or actively adding to their debt. It made it very hard to sympathize with her while she repeatedly delayed leaving the MLM and for several years, her active rebellion was to do less work, and “put rejuvenate on auto pilot“ while letting her downlink risk and lose more and more money and still recruit people.
Eventually, she did leave and she did write this book which I think will reach a specific segment of white women in her class strata. But I’m not sure it has a lot of reach beyond that and there are an awful lot of MLM critiques and resources that are available for free online, and now she gets to be a bit of a martyr. Idk, I just feel kinda weird about the whole thing.
And honestly, I think it was chickenshit of her to use a fake name for the MLM. By all means, protect the identity of the individuals that you’re talking about by changing names and combining details. But the company deserves to be put on blast so that other people can protect themselves.
With all of that said, and I know it was a lot, I did finish this book and only two days which says a lot about its consumable prose and conversational writing style. Parts of it are very juicy and again I thought the parts that were the most specific were the most useful. I was really interested in the parts of the book that get into how MLM’s rigged their finances. Surprisingly, I found the sections on expenses and profit loss statements to be some of the most interesting parts of the book. And the authors struggle with substance abuse disorder was legitimately emotional and well written. Although, I have reservations about her remaining in the coaching space which she admits is also made up of grifters. She claims to actually be trained, but doesn’t list any of her credentials and at this point I don’t really trust her.
I also feel like the sensitivity readers may have had a heavy hand in sections of this book, which I appreciate, but weren’t written to sound successfully authentic from the author.
I didn’t hate the book and I don’t hate the author, but I did find a lot of this book frustrating. I think it will find the most traction in the hands of readers most like the author, namely centrist wealthy white moderates. For that audience, I think it will be a gentle pressure in the right direction, but I think it will have limited utility elsewhere and left me personally feeling a grumpy.
June 24, 2023
when i first finished this it was just mild dislike, but the more I think about it the more I hate it lol.
while I am so here for a critique of MLMs, this just fell flat for me. this had the potential to be a self-reflective, critical exposé on the predatory nature of multi-level marketing and boss babe culture, it nstead offered nothing groundbreaking and came across as mostly self gratifying.
The biggest qualm I have is the way the author repeatedly made comments on the pervasiveness of white supremacy in the MLM world, but doesn’t offer more than a surface level definition of what the term means. She is quick to criticize the rampant racism and alt-right, extremist mentality of many in the industry, but doesn’t actually offer any explanation of efforts she has undertaken to deconstruct her own white privilege or her complacency in this culture. At best, the frequent mention of white supremacy, racism and privilege sound more like lip service than anything else: a white woman commenting on these issues because that’s what is expected in the current contemporary climate. All the reflections come across as majorly self-congratulatory. Paulson says she is not apolitical, but almost speaks of her hyper-moderate stance as though it’s some kind of flex.
I came into this expecting a scathing takedown of a morally and ethically corrupt industry, but even in this, Paulson’s teeters on the edge of moderate to indifferent. She does not leave the MLM for some time, says she doesn’t buy into the mentality any more, but in the same breath explains how she coasted on the efforts of her down line for months in order to continue making thousands per month. while she does feign acknowledgment for the guilt she feels, she narrates from a very “holier-than-thou” position that really didn’t sit well with me.
while I am so here for a critique of MLMs, this just fell flat for me. this had the potential to be a self-reflective, critical exposé on the predatory nature of multi-level marketing and boss babe culture, it nstead offered nothing groundbreaking and came across as mostly self gratifying.
The biggest qualm I have is the way the author repeatedly made comments on the pervasiveness of white supremacy in the MLM world, but doesn’t offer more than a surface level definition of what the term means. She is quick to criticize the rampant racism and alt-right, extremist mentality of many in the industry, but doesn’t actually offer any explanation of efforts she has undertaken to deconstruct her own white privilege or her complacency in this culture. At best, the frequent mention of white supremacy, racism and privilege sound more like lip service than anything else: a white woman commenting on these issues because that’s what is expected in the current contemporary climate. All the reflections come across as majorly self-congratulatory. Paulson says she is not apolitical, but almost speaks of her hyper-moderate stance as though it’s some kind of flex.
I came into this expecting a scathing takedown of a morally and ethically corrupt industry, but even in this, Paulson’s teeters on the edge of moderate to indifferent. She does not leave the MLM for some time, says she doesn’t buy into the mentality any more, but in the same breath explains how she coasted on the efforts of her down line for months in order to continue making thousands per month. while she does feign acknowledgment for the guilt she feels, she narrates from a very “holier-than-thou” position that really didn’t sit well with me.
July 22, 2023
What the heck did I just read? I honestly thought this was gonna be more about surviving joining a MLM and not an 11 hour long pitch to join and pay for a service this person started.
Not gonna lie, the longer this book went on, the more I disliked the person this book was about. It was narrated by the writer, which is not something that I prefer, so I think that made it even worse.
Anyways, in this book we have a white relatively wealthy and attractive size 2 woman who felt like she was alone being a mother and wife so decided to join a MLM and also drinks a lot.
She jumped into this as only those with already large social circles can, and became one of those people who made money but those under her were the ones doing all the work and losing all the money.
Oh she does occasionally say how wrong all this was but it did not stop her from taking that money out of someone else's pocket.
She did this for years. She knew she was wrong, but still did it. Even while she stopped actively recruiting, her downline still lined her pockets.
She did get sober and wrote a previous book about it and sold to all the boss babes who wanted to be like her. At this point I think I was actively leaning toward hatred.
After years of being able to not get involved in politics that did not affect her, the pandemic, BLM, and Trump came along and the whole Rejuvenate MLM was all pro Trump all the time and that was when she jumped ship. But only after finding out how much she made that year.
I wanted to know more about why she in particular was so deep in this, not the whole MLM are cults line, which is widely known and not at all a shock. I wanted to know how much her husband hated this, or how she neglected her kids. She made so much money she hired a personal assistant and had nannies. She traveled all the time and was not home. She even commercialized her cancer diagnosis.
But that stuff was glossed over. This was all service level thoughts and feelings.
The end of this book was nothing more than shilling for her paid coaching services. She literally is still doing a MLM, its just now got a different name and she owns the company.
Not gonna lie, the longer this book went on, the more I disliked the person this book was about. It was narrated by the writer, which is not something that I prefer, so I think that made it even worse.
Anyways, in this book we have a white relatively wealthy and attractive size 2 woman who felt like she was alone being a mother and wife so decided to join a MLM and also drinks a lot.
She jumped into this as only those with already large social circles can, and became one of those people who made money but those under her were the ones doing all the work and losing all the money.
Oh she does occasionally say how wrong all this was but it did not stop her from taking that money out of someone else's pocket.
She did this for years. She knew she was wrong, but still did it. Even while she stopped actively recruiting, her downline still lined her pockets.
She did get sober and wrote a previous book about it and sold to all the boss babes who wanted to be like her. At this point I think I was actively leaning toward hatred.
After years of being able to not get involved in politics that did not affect her, the pandemic, BLM, and Trump came along and the whole Rejuvenate MLM was all pro Trump all the time and that was when she jumped ship. But only after finding out how much she made that year.
I wanted to know more about why she in particular was so deep in this, not the whole MLM are cults line, which is widely known and not at all a shock. I wanted to know how much her husband hated this, or how she neglected her kids. She made so much money she hired a personal assistant and had nannies. She traveled all the time and was not home. She even commercialized her cancer diagnosis.
But that stuff was glossed over. This was all service level thoughts and feelings.
The end of this book was nothing more than shilling for her paid coaching services. She literally is still doing a MLM, its just now got a different name and she owns the company.
June 8, 2023
Incredibly fun and insightful. A delight to relish in the absurdity of capitalism but also spend time reflecting on the ways in which business is drastically changing and hindering abilities to form real human connections. Definitely think you should read this one
July 2, 2023
This woman is a mind blowingly unlikeable, tone deaf, grifter with an unreal complete lack of self awareness. Whom wrote a book about how predatory MLM’s are while self promoting her own newest predatory “coaching” services throughout the book. She tops it off with the end or wrap up with a full blown sales pitch. Nothing in this book was new. Literally everything here is pretty common knowledge. She drops buzz words/topics throughout about “white supremacy” and “privilege” and there’s nothing explained about that other than the words being inserted. Like she’s trying to use these real issues to her advantage too. It’s like she literally sprinkled these words throughout the book. I feel like her editor or someone told her to add these to try and make her more likable or less clueless. She actually talks about herself like she’s a hero and self sacrificing by selling her diamonds and Luis Vuitton luggage. In that same breath she says how she decided to host “free” online sober meetups for moms. What kind of asshole would charge for someone to attend a sobriety group online??? Especially because she talks about how vulnerable moms are then thinks she’s a hero for not charging them for an online sobriety group. Of course that’s her newest grift that she shamelessly self promotes or wraps this book up with her newest con. I never write reviews either but this was such absolute trash I had to.
Edited to add: I just saw she also 5 starred her own book and left some comment thinking that was cute. I get some authors do that and I personally have always been rubbed wrong by that. But her 5 starring her own book totally fits with how she came off 🗑️
Edited to add: I just saw she also 5 starred her own book and left some comment thinking that was cute. I get some authors do that and I personally have always been rubbed wrong by that. But her 5 starring her own book totally fits with how she came off 🗑️
Currently reading
July 25, 2023This is a book about how a fictionalised MLM seduces white, very well-off middle class women who are bored and lonely. And how the author reached the very top, the expensive travel bonuses, the car, the everything before getting sick of the exploitation of white, very well off and not so very well off middle class women who could do with a bit of extra money and like the companionship that the culture, somewhat cultish but then all in-groups are, offers.
It is kind of making me sick because although she says that is the motivation of the women and they are the prime targets of the company, she has no experience outside her rich, white designer handbag life. In the Caribbean there are many women who are not in the least bit lonely but need to earn extra money to support their family more than their often minimum pay jobs can give them. I'm not saying they aren't exploited but they aren't well-off lonely white women whose husbands buy them designer bags either.
Some of these women don't feel exploited to me either. Avon is an MLM, a lot of people grew up with the Avon lady coming round. When I was a kid I was allowed to get Honeysuckle perfume and Skin-so-Soft oil for my skin. And we'd get free samples sometimes. We have Avon on the island still.
Herbal Life is popular here too. I don't know much about it, but I know it is another MLM, one that is successful because people love its products.
If you think about it, in every product you buy almost, clothes, fast food, there are always people at the bottom trying to eke out a living and the HR departments continually trying to replace those who will no longer work for minimal pay and bad working conditions, and the higher ups who are making the money off them. Companies with zero hour contracts, Jeff Bezos and his biggest-yacht-in-the-world and rockets.... Door Dash... Shein...
So I'm not saying that MLMs are a good thing at all, but I'm saying that before condemning it's methods of selling product and rewarding those who are successful at selling and-or recruitment we should look at other industries methods too. Are those at the bottom of the tree truly sharing in the profits? Are they really any more moral?
It is kind of making me sick because although she says that is the motivation of the women and they are the prime targets of the company, she has no experience outside her rich, white designer handbag life. In the Caribbean there are many women who are not in the least bit lonely but need to earn extra money to support their family more than their often minimum pay jobs can give them. I'm not saying they aren't exploited but they aren't well-off lonely white women whose husbands buy them designer bags either.
Some of these women don't feel exploited to me either. Avon is an MLM, a lot of people grew up with the Avon lady coming round. When I was a kid I was allowed to get Honeysuckle perfume and Skin-so-Soft oil for my skin. And we'd get free samples sometimes. We have Avon on the island still.
Herbal Life is popular here too. I don't know much about it, but I know it is another MLM, one that is successful because people love its products.
If you think about it, in every product you buy almost, clothes, fast food, there are always people at the bottom trying to eke out a living and the HR departments continually trying to replace those who will no longer work for minimal pay and bad working conditions, and the higher ups who are making the money off them. Companies with zero hour contracts, Jeff Bezos and his biggest-yacht-in-the-world and rockets.... Door Dash... Shein...
So I'm not saying that MLMs are a good thing at all, but I'm saying that before condemning it's methods of selling product and rewarding those who are successful at selling and-or recruitment we should look at other industries methods too. Are those at the bottom of the tree truly sharing in the profits? Are they really any more moral?
July 17, 2024
I appreciate this book's good intentions – and it also fills a major gap in the literature for memoirs on MLM (a huge part of millions of people's lives).
But goddamn was it a chore to read. Paulson summarizes huge chunks of her 6-year career in single paragraphs, such as the story of her recoveries from alcoholism and cancer. The book swings wildly between memoir and polemic, making it read like a 300-page tangent. Former MLM adherents will cheer, but the book is too lacking in focus and detail to have any value for a current MLM seller trying to understand what they've gotten themselves into. It's also extremely pander-y – Paulson attacks "late-stage capitalism" before going after "government spending" a few chapters later, and also name-drops "white supremacy" without ever examining what that means for the people impacted by it. Finally, Paulson never fully reckons with the late-career passive income she made off the backs of the women working under her, nor the impact that her chronic absence had on her five children. The book treats them as forgettable, just like MLM does.
Let's celebrate MLM getting overdue scrutiny, mourn the fact that it had to start with a book like this.
But goddamn was it a chore to read. Paulson summarizes huge chunks of her 6-year career in single paragraphs, such as the story of her recoveries from alcoholism and cancer. The book swings wildly between memoir and polemic, making it read like a 300-page tangent. Former MLM adherents will cheer, but the book is too lacking in focus and detail to have any value for a current MLM seller trying to understand what they've gotten themselves into. It's also extremely pander-y – Paulson attacks "late-stage capitalism" before going after "government spending" a few chapters later, and also name-drops "white supremacy" without ever examining what that means for the people impacted by it. Finally, Paulson never fully reckons with the late-career passive income she made off the backs of the women working under her, nor the impact that her chronic absence had on her five children. The book treats them as forgettable, just like MLM does.
Let's celebrate MLM getting overdue scrutiny, mourn the fact that it had to start with a book like this.
June 17, 2023
I enjoyed this book and burned through the audiobook in a couple days. But I can’t shake the feeling that scammers are gonna scam…
Throughout the book, I got the sense that Emily was embellishing the amount of skepticism and snark she claims to have felt all along her journey to the top of the MLM pyramid. It’s like she wants the reader to know she wasn’t ever like “the other boss babes.” Lots of “I rolled my eyes” or “I can’t believe how cheesy this is.”
Yet, if it’s true that she always knew how messed up everything was, that only makes her stint as a MLM lady boss seem all the more predatory.
The cherry on top of the scam sundae is that by 3/4ths through the book, Emily is completely disenchanted and disgusted with the entire industry—she talks about how the problem with knowledge is that once you have it, you can’t un-have it—yet she still stays in the MLM for months (or years? the timeline is unclear) after that, passively collecting thousands of dollars per month on the backs of women below her.
It seems she stayed just long enough to get her next potentially predatory business up and running: a paid platform for her addiction recovery coaching services and a community for sober moms. She all but acknowledges that “coaching” is the new MLM scamming, but again, she’s not like the *other* coaches. She has earned rigorous—but wholly unnamed—certification credentials. And the kicker? Her new coaching group is called the “Sober Mom Squad.” This, after having spent an entire book mocking the infantilizing, cheesy names and slogans that MLMs and their members use. Again, she wants us to believe that she’s not like the other girl gangs, hustle tribes, or lady bosses, etc.
Look, I do not think Emily or other women like her should be crucified for their conduct in MLMs. As she acknowledges herself, she was both a victim and a perpetrator. But she also acknowledges that she came from a place of privilege, even at the very beginning of her MLM journey. She had much less to lose, and, by the end, she was knowingly profiting off women who were losing everything. She never really reckons with that fact.
It also felt like there were a lot of buzzwords added into the text—possibly by her publisher or the sensitivity readers she mentions in the acknowledgments—that were left unexplained or at least not explained in any meaningful way. Emily never really elaborates on how she goes from all-in, girl boss extraordinaire, to someone who regularly uses terms like intersectional feminism, BIPOC, and extra-judicial police killing. She critiques women who just mindlessly regurgitate the rhetoric of others on social media, but I felt the book was missing an explanation for when and how she came to appreciate these concepts. If she knew them all along during her MLM ascension—again, yikes. But if she delved into and learned about them in the process of leaving the MLM or writing this book, she never said so. That would have been something worth exploring.
Throughout the book, I got the sense that Emily was embellishing the amount of skepticism and snark she claims to have felt all along her journey to the top of the MLM pyramid. It’s like she wants the reader to know she wasn’t ever like “the other boss babes.” Lots of “I rolled my eyes” or “I can’t believe how cheesy this is.”
Yet, if it’s true that she always knew how messed up everything was, that only makes her stint as a MLM lady boss seem all the more predatory.
The cherry on top of the scam sundae is that by 3/4ths through the book, Emily is completely disenchanted and disgusted with the entire industry—she talks about how the problem with knowledge is that once you have it, you can’t un-have it—yet she still stays in the MLM for months (or years? the timeline is unclear) after that, passively collecting thousands of dollars per month on the backs of women below her.
It seems she stayed just long enough to get her next potentially predatory business up and running: a paid platform for her addiction recovery coaching services and a community for sober moms. She all but acknowledges that “coaching” is the new MLM scamming, but again, she’s not like the *other* coaches. She has earned rigorous—but wholly unnamed—certification credentials. And the kicker? Her new coaching group is called the “Sober Mom Squad.” This, after having spent an entire book mocking the infantilizing, cheesy names and slogans that MLMs and their members use. Again, she wants us to believe that she’s not like the other girl gangs, hustle tribes, or lady bosses, etc.
Look, I do not think Emily or other women like her should be crucified for their conduct in MLMs. As she acknowledges herself, she was both a victim and a perpetrator. But she also acknowledges that she came from a place of privilege, even at the very beginning of her MLM journey. She had much less to lose, and, by the end, she was knowingly profiting off women who were losing everything. She never really reckons with that fact.
It also felt like there were a lot of buzzwords added into the text—possibly by her publisher or the sensitivity readers she mentions in the acknowledgments—that were left unexplained or at least not explained in any meaningful way. Emily never really elaborates on how she goes from all-in, girl boss extraordinaire, to someone who regularly uses terms like intersectional feminism, BIPOC, and extra-judicial police killing. She critiques women who just mindlessly regurgitate the rhetoric of others on social media, but I felt the book was missing an explanation for when and how she came to appreciate these concepts. If she knew them all along during her MLM ascension—again, yikes. But if she delved into and learned about them in the process of leaving the MLM or writing this book, she never said so. That would have been something worth exploring.
May 5, 2023
A former boss babe is here to give us a behind-the-scenes look at MLMs and I was SO here for it! As someone who has been targeted by them on the Book of Faces, they annoy me and I am always mystified by how intelligent people get sucked into this. I'm on the MLM subreddit she mentions in the book and a Hun is always doing something outrageous. I also recently read Cultish, which is also mentioned.
As a free market champion, it frequently confuses people that I am anti-MLM. I do not think it should be part of a free market as it is unsustainable and predatory. I found the meritocracy conversation she brought up interesting.
Once someone joins an MLM, I don't know how to feel around them because suddenly they sound cult-like in their beliefs and as someone who isn't religious, it disturbs me because I then feel like nothing they say is true. It is strange that many of the people involved are Christians until you realize they are guilty of plenty of hypocrisies far worse than pretending to be interested in my current skincare routine. Far more predatory is what some of the Huns try to dangle in front of those of us with chronic illness, promising healing, health, and prosperity. It's very ableist and nasty.
I have cringed alone for far too long over this so I was happy to get my hands on this book but I have to say I was disappointed. I knew that the author was going to attempt to link MLMs to white supremacy, but I didn't think it would be a recurring theme and I just didn't find the argument persuasive. Every few chapters, she put in a woke diatribe denouncing her privilege like a Robin DiAngelo speech and making another failed link to the Klan.
Look, I'm not a fragile cracker. I do not pretend privilege doesn't exist, or that racism is dead in this world. I do not think the world is colorblind. My eyes are open to all of the injustices. I acknowledge the sins of our ancestors, but my ancestors were not selling It Works! or Avon. I was just excited to hear juicy drama and got preached to instead and I think authors need to know that people are kind of tired of it. Can we not sit down and read anything without it being twisted to fit this narrative?
Thanks to NetGalley, the publisher, and the author for the chance to listen and review. The author was a fantastic narrator.
As a free market champion, it frequently confuses people that I am anti-MLM. I do not think it should be part of a free market as it is unsustainable and predatory. I found the meritocracy conversation she brought up interesting.
Once someone joins an MLM, I don't know how to feel around them because suddenly they sound cult-like in their beliefs and as someone who isn't religious, it disturbs me because I then feel like nothing they say is true. It is strange that many of the people involved are Christians until you realize they are guilty of plenty of hypocrisies far worse than pretending to be interested in my current skincare routine. Far more predatory is what some of the Huns try to dangle in front of those of us with chronic illness, promising healing, health, and prosperity. It's very ableist and nasty.
I have cringed alone for far too long over this so I was happy to get my hands on this book but I have to say I was disappointed. I knew that the author was going to attempt to link MLMs to white supremacy, but I didn't think it would be a recurring theme and I just didn't find the argument persuasive. Every few chapters, she put in a woke diatribe denouncing her privilege like a Robin DiAngelo speech and making another failed link to the Klan.
Look, I'm not a fragile cracker. I do not pretend privilege doesn't exist, or that racism is dead in this world. I do not think the world is colorblind. My eyes are open to all of the injustices. I acknowledge the sins of our ancestors, but my ancestors were not selling It Works! or Avon. I was just excited to hear juicy drama and got preached to instead and I think authors need to know that people are kind of tired of it. Can we not sit down and read anything without it being twisted to fit this narrative?
Thanks to NetGalley, the publisher, and the author for the chance to listen and review. The author was a fantastic narrator.
May 4, 2023
This was such an interesting read! While I did come to this book already knowing how predatory MLMs are, how most people end up losing money, and how cult-like they are, it was great getting the perspective of somebody who had first hand knowledge. Emily Lynn Paulson was actually one of the few people able to rise to the top of her MLM, so it was very fascinating to read about her journey from becoming fully indoctrinated to realizing how messed up the company was to finally leaving it all behind.
I think this book does a great job showing how women get sucked into these companies and why they’re so attractive to a certain demographic of people. While a lot of the book is focused on Emily’s own experience, she also brings in quotes from other former MLM consultants, and data and research from other sources. The book mostly feels like a memoir with some additional information about the MLM industry as a whole.
The whole thing was so compelling, I listened to the book in 2 days because I was fully invested. Because she’s coming at this from the perspective of somebody who was involved in an MLM and brought so many other people into it, she does have compassion for the women who are involved in MLMs. This isn’t a brutal takedown with no considerations for why women end up trapped in these companies. Of course she is very critical, but there is also an understanding that a lot of these women are victims in addition to being perpetrators. In the end some of the topics and events started to feel a bit rushed, but overall this was a great read.
I definitely recommend checking this one out if it sounds interesting to you!
Thank you to the publisher for providing an advance copy via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
I think this book does a great job showing how women get sucked into these companies and why they’re so attractive to a certain demographic of people. While a lot of the book is focused on Emily’s own experience, she also brings in quotes from other former MLM consultants, and data and research from other sources. The book mostly feels like a memoir with some additional information about the MLM industry as a whole.
The whole thing was so compelling, I listened to the book in 2 days because I was fully invested. Because she’s coming at this from the perspective of somebody who was involved in an MLM and brought so many other people into it, she does have compassion for the women who are involved in MLMs. This isn’t a brutal takedown with no considerations for why women end up trapped in these companies. Of course she is very critical, but there is also an understanding that a lot of these women are victims in addition to being perpetrators. In the end some of the topics and events started to feel a bit rushed, but overall this was a great read.
I definitely recommend checking this one out if it sounds interesting to you!
Thank you to the publisher for providing an advance copy via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
![Profile Image for laurel [the suspected bibliophile].](https://cdn.statically.io/img/i.gr-assets.com/images/S/compressed.photo.goodreads.com/users/1645808644i/7494844._UX200_CR0,6,200,200_.jpg)
August 5, 2023
hey hun ❤️ how it it going?? long time no see ✨
I have a great opportunity for you, chica! i'm reaching out to you because I can tell by your fb photos that you're a sad sack of woman flesh longing for connection and sisterhood, and i have a community you pay to enter 😍💗💗 we're gonna read about mlm schemes, which are like, absolutely not pyramid schemes because in my totally 100% SHE-EO lifestyle, I'm the boss and I'm selling you an amazing product that you absolutely can't get anywhere else for 60% cheaper and my product will cure whatever ails you #blessed
Feeling a little down? Postpartum depression got you, mama? Join me in this great OPPORTUNITY, where only the .0005% of women who join will make any money, but will be forced to spend it all to sell the MILLIONAIRE LIFESTYLE we're expected to love. In recruiting more people, I'll make my upline happy and bump into in new tier that'll maybe get me a new car 🚘💓and you can join me by recruiting more of your besties and cultivating an exclusive downline of boss-babes in a way that is not at all predatory or exploitative or rooted in white supremacy 💖
I was feeling low and uneducated, until I found this book, which is a memoir crossed with Amanda Montell's Cultish (DISCOUNT CODE CULTISH59 for an AMAZING discount!). If you're numbers are down, well then I'm sorry but you're just not working hard enough—watch a few more leadership webinars and go to this no-expenses paid workshop with our Elite Sellers—you just gotta hustle for it so you can retire your husband and have no fallback options when this pyramid gets flipped ❤️❤️❤️
let's go elite mama!! let's live that girlboss lifestyle!!! 💪🤩
#gatekeep
#gaslight
#GIRLBOSS
I have a great opportunity for you, chica! i'm reaching out to you because I can tell by your fb photos that you're a sad sack of woman flesh longing for connection and sisterhood, and i have a community you pay to enter 😍💗💗 we're gonna read about mlm schemes, which are like, absolutely not pyramid schemes because in my totally 100% SHE-EO lifestyle, I'm the boss and I'm selling you an amazing product that you absolutely can't get anywhere else for 60% cheaper and my product will cure whatever ails you #blessed
Feeling a little down? Postpartum depression got you, mama? Join me in this great OPPORTUNITY, where only the .0005% of women who join will make any money, but will be forced to spend it all to sell the MILLIONAIRE LIFESTYLE we're expected to love. In recruiting more people, I'll make my upline happy and bump into in new tier that'll maybe get me a new car 🚘💓and you can join me by recruiting more of your besties and cultivating an exclusive downline of boss-babes in a way that is not at all predatory or exploitative or rooted in white supremacy 💖
I was feeling low and uneducated, until I found this book, which is a memoir crossed with Amanda Montell's Cultish (DISCOUNT CODE CULTISH59 for an AMAZING discount!). If you're numbers are down, well then I'm sorry but you're just not working hard enough—watch a few more leadership webinars and go to this no-expenses paid workshop with our Elite Sellers—you just gotta hustle for it so you can retire your husband and have no fallback options when this pyramid gets flipped ❤️❤️❤️
let's go elite mama!! let's live that girlboss lifestyle!!! 💪🤩
#gatekeep
#gaslight
#GIRLBOSS
August 31, 2023
An interesting memoir. I didn’t know much about multilevel marketing companies (MLMs) going in except that they’re a scam: people sign up to sell product on a commission-only basis, and rather than getting paid, most actually lose money through required product purchases. They are pyramid schemes in which the real money to be made is through recruiting other sellers and getting a cut of their sales.
Emily Lynn Paulson was in an MLM* for seven years, being one of the few to rise to the top and become a big earner. As she presents it, she joined for a sense of community and due to frustration as a stay-at-home mom, and while she doesn’t detail the reasons for her success (perhaps not wanting to encourage others), it seems to be a combination of good luck to get in at the right time, her husband’s money, a large network of people with money to spare and some minor “influencer” status herself, the good fortune to recruit a bigger influencer, and an obsessive dedication to the gig. But a few years in she started to sour on it, as those below her struggled and she began to see the toxicity of the culture.
One of Paulson’s focuses is how cult-like MLMs can be: indoctrinating their members, discouraging them from engaging with outside information or critical thought, and encouraging them to cut off those who don’t support their “business.” They are intense about conformity and the use of social media, both to “love bomb” newbies and with the expectation that sellers will constantly promote the brand. Their incentives also struck me as surprisingly gamified: members “rank up” by hitting particular “achievements” in sales and recruiting, but have to keep hitting “targets” to maintain their “rank” (needless to say, these “promotions” only account to leaderboard placement, not an actual salary). Meanwhile the higher-ups provide “shout-outs,” leaderboard placement and swag to make people feel rewarded in the absence of, you know, pay. There are also the perks, most of which wind up costing the sellers (even the “free” car Paulson wins is far from free—she has to make the down payment, title and registration, with the company contributing to monthly payments as long as she makes her targets. Also, she’s expected to hold a blowout party to celebrate it, which she has to fund herself).
So all that was new to me and interesting. That said, I don’t think it’s a great book. In many ways it reads like an especially long social media post, plainly written and without any special insight: you could probably spend a couple hours reading r/antiMLM and get the same idea. She could have done a stronger job with the financial argument against joining an MLM, for instance by providing an estimate of the actual number of people beneath her losing money, rather than just telling us they existed while giving fairly precise numbers for her own large income. I also don’t love that she apparently fictionalized quite a bit—per the introduction, the other characters are composites, and she altered timelines. At what point does her story become more autobiographical novel than nonfiction?
Also, the social justice aspects feel shallow and shoehorned in—as far as I can tell, Paulson is the epitome of a political “moderate” with no particular convictions, but her book got picked up by a “radical” and “revolutionary” (their words) social-justice-oriented publisher. So she throws around a lot of comments about white supremacy—even in the subtitle!—but never really backs them up. Basically, MLMs are disproportionately white, which since they’re a pyramid scheme doesn’t exactly seem like a problem for people of color, and they can be tone deaf in their social media marketing. Also, as Paulson discovers at the end, MLM members overlap with QAnon, pandemic deniers and other right-wing conspiracy theorists, unsurprising in retrospect due to sellers’ already fraught relationship with reality.
Other social justice aspects are equally shallow. For instance, the author notes that MLMs’ version of feminism is not in fact empowering, based as it is on consumerism, competition and general exploitation. But she also bonds with a fellow successful seller over the fact that they would never “retire their husbands,” in creepy MLM speak, because they couldn’t respect or be attracted to men who depended on them financially. I don’t think Paulson ever realizes that this mindset is an integral part of the very patriarchy she complains about—this is why his career was the one prioritized! Likewise she seems very on board with a work-obsessed culture: she was miserable taking care of their five kids full-time, but never questions whether her husband working a job that demands 14-hour days and extensive travel is actually good for their family. Instead she just wants to “get” to do the same herself. Maybe she wouldn’t have felt such a destructive need to escape if they’d had a more equitable split of work and childcare all along.
At any rate, this was a fast and gossipy read, and I did enjoy learning about a lifestyle unfamiliar to me. And if you or someone you know has been affected by MLMs, I imagine it could be quite validating. Not sorry I read it, but I’ll be happy to move on to something with a bit more substance.
* She uses a fictitious name in the book, but from a quick Google, the company was Rodan + Fields. See here for some other interesting speculation.
Emily Lynn Paulson was in an MLM* for seven years, being one of the few to rise to the top and become a big earner. As she presents it, she joined for a sense of community and due to frustration as a stay-at-home mom, and while she doesn’t detail the reasons for her success (perhaps not wanting to encourage others), it seems to be a combination of good luck to get in at the right time, her husband’s money, a large network of people with money to spare and some minor “influencer” status herself, the good fortune to recruit a bigger influencer, and an obsessive dedication to the gig. But a few years in she started to sour on it, as those below her struggled and she began to see the toxicity of the culture.
One of Paulson’s focuses is how cult-like MLMs can be: indoctrinating their members, discouraging them from engaging with outside information or critical thought, and encouraging them to cut off those who don’t support their “business.” They are intense about conformity and the use of social media, both to “love bomb” newbies and with the expectation that sellers will constantly promote the brand. Their incentives also struck me as surprisingly gamified: members “rank up” by hitting particular “achievements” in sales and recruiting, but have to keep hitting “targets” to maintain their “rank” (needless to say, these “promotions” only account to leaderboard placement, not an actual salary). Meanwhile the higher-ups provide “shout-outs,” leaderboard placement and swag to make people feel rewarded in the absence of, you know, pay. There are also the perks, most of which wind up costing the sellers (even the “free” car Paulson wins is far from free—she has to make the down payment, title and registration, with the company contributing to monthly payments as long as she makes her targets. Also, she’s expected to hold a blowout party to celebrate it, which she has to fund herself).
So all that was new to me and interesting. That said, I don’t think it’s a great book. In many ways it reads like an especially long social media post, plainly written and without any special insight: you could probably spend a couple hours reading r/antiMLM and get the same idea. She could have done a stronger job with the financial argument against joining an MLM, for instance by providing an estimate of the actual number of people beneath her losing money, rather than just telling us they existed while giving fairly precise numbers for her own large income. I also don’t love that she apparently fictionalized quite a bit—per the introduction, the other characters are composites, and she altered timelines. At what point does her story become more autobiographical novel than nonfiction?
Also, the social justice aspects feel shallow and shoehorned in—as far as I can tell, Paulson is the epitome of a political “moderate” with no particular convictions, but her book got picked up by a “radical” and “revolutionary” (their words) social-justice-oriented publisher. So she throws around a lot of comments about white supremacy—even in the subtitle!—but never really backs them up. Basically, MLMs are disproportionately white, which since they’re a pyramid scheme doesn’t exactly seem like a problem for people of color, and they can be tone deaf in their social media marketing. Also, as Paulson discovers at the end, MLM members overlap with QAnon, pandemic deniers and other right-wing conspiracy theorists, unsurprising in retrospect due to sellers’ already fraught relationship with reality.
Other social justice aspects are equally shallow. For instance, the author notes that MLMs’ version of feminism is not in fact empowering, based as it is on consumerism, competition and general exploitation. But she also bonds with a fellow successful seller over the fact that they would never “retire their husbands,” in creepy MLM speak, because they couldn’t respect or be attracted to men who depended on them financially. I don’t think Paulson ever realizes that this mindset is an integral part of the very patriarchy she complains about—this is why his career was the one prioritized! Likewise she seems very on board with a work-obsessed culture: she was miserable taking care of their five kids full-time, but never questions whether her husband working a job that demands 14-hour days and extensive travel is actually good for their family. Instead she just wants to “get” to do the same herself. Maybe she wouldn’t have felt such a destructive need to escape if they’d had a more equitable split of work and childcare all along.
At any rate, this was a fast and gossipy read, and I did enjoy learning about a lifestyle unfamiliar to me. And if you or someone you know has been affected by MLMs, I imagine it could be quite validating. Not sorry I read it, but I’ll be happy to move on to something with a bit more substance.
* She uses a fictitious name in the book, but from a quick Google, the company was Rodan + Fields. See here for some other interesting speculation.
January 17, 2023
(free review copy) Let's just start with the tl;dr version ~ if you have any interest in reading about MLMs, the vulnerability of women, marketing and/or the psychology of cults, READ THIS BOOK.
I was exposed to my first MLM as a child when my mom would be invited to all of the parties ~ Pampered Chef, Creative Memories, Tupperware and so many more. I obviously didn't understand it all at the time, but I do always remember the reps pushing the guests hard to host their own parties and my mom always buying at least one thing because she felt guilty if she didn't. Fast forward to my own adulthood when I was the one being invited to the parties and being encouraged to host my own parties or become a consultant "just for the discount alone!".
The experience that sticks with me the most though is when I was at my most vulnerable. I was 25 with a newborn and had no friends with babies. I was at Target with my baby and a woman my age (also with a baby) started talking to me (in the baby aisle - she was lying in wait!!! So gross. ) and I was so overjoyed to have found someone to talk to. She seemed so interested in me and wanted to get together to chat and I could already envision our babies growing up together while the two of us grew to be best friends. Or not. On my first visit to her house, her and her husband made it apparent that this was not a social visit and that they wanted to bring me into their lifestyle ~ a lifestyle that involved groceries and home goods that I could buy from them to change my life. Somehow they also ended up at my house pitching to me and my husband about joining their team and thank goodness my husband was thinking more clearly than I was and ended things quickly with a "thanks but no thanks" and sent them on their way. I never heard from her again. This memory came rushing back to me while reading this book because I was at a point where I was so desperate for connection that I would have signed anything to have a friend who was also at home with a baby and able to talk to me during the day.
That's what Emily Lynn Paulson hits home in Hey, Hun ~ MLMs prey on people just like me, and it's intentional and brutal.
Paulson has written a memoir that reads like a juicy domestic fiction novel but also managed to fill it with so much information about MLM's, cults and the psychology of marketing. Come for the dirt and stay for the education. I so appreciate her sobriety story as well, although that is just a small part of this book. She spills the tea (hers and that of the industry) without sugarcoating her own culpability in the manipulation and financial ruin of so many women. I admire her bravery and honesty in speaking out, and also the grace in which she speaks about current MLM members who aren't yet able to see the light. I highly recommend this book.
Source: free review print copy
I was exposed to my first MLM as a child when my mom would be invited to all of the parties ~ Pampered Chef, Creative Memories, Tupperware and so many more. I obviously didn't understand it all at the time, but I do always remember the reps pushing the guests hard to host their own parties and my mom always buying at least one thing because she felt guilty if she didn't. Fast forward to my own adulthood when I was the one being invited to the parties and being encouraged to host my own parties or become a consultant "just for the discount alone!".
The experience that sticks with me the most though is when I was at my most vulnerable. I was 25 with a newborn and had no friends with babies. I was at Target with my baby and a woman my age (also with a baby) started talking to me (in the baby aisle - she was lying in wait!!! So gross. ) and I was so overjoyed to have found someone to talk to. She seemed so interested in me and wanted to get together to chat and I could already envision our babies growing up together while the two of us grew to be best friends. Or not. On my first visit to her house, her and her husband made it apparent that this was not a social visit and that they wanted to bring me into their lifestyle ~ a lifestyle that involved groceries and home goods that I could buy from them to change my life. Somehow they also ended up at my house pitching to me and my husband about joining their team and thank goodness my husband was thinking more clearly than I was and ended things quickly with a "thanks but no thanks" and sent them on their way. I never heard from her again. This memory came rushing back to me while reading this book because I was at a point where I was so desperate for connection that I would have signed anything to have a friend who was also at home with a baby and able to talk to me during the day.
That's what Emily Lynn Paulson hits home in Hey, Hun ~ MLMs prey on people just like me, and it's intentional and brutal.
Paulson has written a memoir that reads like a juicy domestic fiction novel but also managed to fill it with so much information about MLM's, cults and the psychology of marketing. Come for the dirt and stay for the education. I so appreciate her sobriety story as well, although that is just a small part of this book. She spills the tea (hers and that of the industry) without sugarcoating her own culpability in the manipulation and financial ruin of so many women. I admire her bravery and honesty in speaking out, and also the grace in which she speaks about current MLM members who aren't yet able to see the light. I highly recommend this book.
Source: free review print copy
June 1, 2023
I was so excited for this book... And found myself being disappointed often. The author provides an in-depth look at her experience in an MLM.
She states she doesn't like to get political but then offers views and opinions on politics through the book in an offhanded fashion that doesn't support or further any argument or context. Towards the end these views are linked back up with actions by people within the MLM and thus are relevant. However, previous to that section, I found myself questioning "why even include that?" when certain statements were made.
Additionally, she uses "white supremacy" throughout the book but doesn't explain how MLMs encompass this. She acknowledges that MLMs are overwhelmingly white, often stay at home moms, from the higher end of socioeconomic scale. However, to claim that MLMs entail white supremacy begs a more direct and complex argument than something as simple as ...well, they are white women"...
She states she doesn't like to get political but then offers views and opinions on politics through the book in an offhanded fashion that doesn't support or further any argument or context. Towards the end these views are linked back up with actions by people within the MLM and thus are relevant. However, previous to that section, I found myself questioning "why even include that?" when certain statements were made.
Additionally, she uses "white supremacy" throughout the book but doesn't explain how MLMs encompass this. She acknowledges that MLMs are overwhelmingly white, often stay at home moms, from the higher end of socioeconomic scale. However, to claim that MLMs entail white supremacy begs a more direct and complex argument than something as simple as ...well, they are white women"...
August 29, 2023
you can take the girl out of the MLM, but you can't take the bossbabe out of the girl.
this book is just....peak white feminism
this book is just....peak white feminism
August 2, 2023
I felt a lot of things and had many thoughts while reading this book and wanted to share a few:
- this sounds so much like religious cults and it’s very interesting how most women that go hard for MLMs have some sort of christian fundamentalist beliefs.
- the author makes it sounds like she really has healed from the situation or at least js well on her journey. i mean, they manipulated her into using her cancer diagnosis to sell product, and then exploited her sobriety in even wilder ways.
- i know the author says she has made amends, and i truly hope the people she was predatory towards heal❤️🔥
- this sounds so much like religious cults and it’s very interesting how most women that go hard for MLMs have some sort of christian fundamentalist beliefs.
- the author makes it sounds like she really has healed from the situation or at least js well on her journey. i mean, they manipulated her into using her cancer diagnosis to sell product, and then exploited her sobriety in even wilder ways.
- i know the author says she has made amends, and i truly hope the people she was predatory towards heal❤️🔥
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 3, 2024
we definitely need to see more MLM memoirs
Hey, Hun was interesting but far too long and focused so much on the author’s alcohol abuse that it nearly turned into a full on advertisement for the author’s sobriety coaching by the end.
it is wonderful that the author is embracing sobriety and helping other women do the same but putting an advertisement for your business in an anti-mlm book comes across strange.
Hey, Hun was interesting but far too long and focused so much on the author’s alcohol abuse that it nearly turned into a full on advertisement for the author’s sobriety coaching by the end.
it is wonderful that the author is embracing sobriety and helping other women do the same but putting an advertisement for your business in an anti-mlm book comes across strange.
June 15, 2023
I feel that the author isn't critical enough of the MLM industry and the commentary on the systemic issues felt shallow. She stuck around at the MLM company long after realizing it was problematic (because she heavily benefited from it since she was in the top earning percentile). Now, she is the founder of "Sober Mom Squad," which offers paid membership plans for moms to be part of a community seeking sobriety and support. Big yikes.
September 1, 2023
ugh I was excited to read this but it wasn't quite for me. I am interested in MLMs/scams/cults and ofc have been on the receiving end of some "hey hun" messages myself, so I was interested in this. UNFORTCH I think I like...already knew too much. I also kind of felt like the author maybe just learned about white supremacy and white privilege in 2020, which I mean of course better late than never, but the way she talked about race in this book felt really awkward and tacked on and I was like....maybe you are not the best person to address this. I think I might have preferred if it was just a straight-up memoir about her own experiences in an MLM rather than also trying to be an all-encompassing history of MLMs and also of like, race in America? ANd I know...if she hadn't addressed race at all it probably also would have been uncomfortable but ... there must be another way here.
I think this might be of most interest to people who have themselves been in (or are currently in) MLMs, and/or family members trying to understand a loved one's intense MLM situation. And also honestly to Nice White Ladies who are new to the concept of white privilege I guess. (Not to say that I have a perfect understanding or whatever but this is a little 101 for me.)
My main recommendation is just to listen to The Dream podcast.
I think this might be of most interest to people who have themselves been in (or are currently in) MLMs, and/or family members trying to understand a loved one's intense MLM situation. And also honestly to Nice White Ladies who are new to the concept of white privilege I guess. (Not to say that I have a perfect understanding or whatever but this is a little 101 for me.)
My main recommendation is just to listen to The Dream podcast.
June 20, 2023
I can’t tell what it is about this book, but something rubs me the wrong way. I think Emily’s intentions with writing this book are good and the information she is sharing is incredibly needed. I agree with her assessments, but I think starting the book off by saying that she is a pretty white woman and being very explicit about her privilege made this book feel like it came from the wrong person. I’m not saying that if you don’t NEED the money from this book and you feel sorry for profiting off of and taking advantage of people you could ensure that all of the proceeds from the book go to helping women get out of and pay debts incurred by similar organizations to yours. AND ANOTHER THING, how are you not just saying which mlm you were a part of. It feels off to me. Like why are you protecting them?
It feels like when Joshua Harris from “I kissed dating goodbye” wrote a book on how to deconstruct and sold it to all of the people whose lives he fucked up.
Like being in a cult is very very bad and it changes your brain, but being rich in one it’s less bad than being poor in one. Right? Am I a piece of shit for pointing that out?
It freaks me out how naturally she manipulates people inside of the cult and how candidly she talks about it. I am in not saying she was not victimized and didn’t go through something incredibly painful, but I just feel odd about this book.
It feels like when Joshua Harris from “I kissed dating goodbye” wrote a book on how to deconstruct and sold it to all of the people whose lives he fucked up.
Like being in a cult is very very bad and it changes your brain, but being rich in one it’s less bad than being poor in one. Right? Am I a piece of shit for pointing that out?
It freaks me out how naturally she manipulates people inside of the cult and how candidly she talks about it. I am in not saying she was not victimized and didn’t go through something incredibly painful, but I just feel odd about this book.
September 15, 2023
Part memoir, part analysis of MLMs and Girlboss Culture. It’s interesting material and works best when talking about statistics and the reasons why people are motivated to join and stay in MLMs, but tends to be vague and repetitive for the length. Additionally, the book reads as someone still in the process of extricating themselves mentally from the MLM - in a book about the problems with hustle culture and capitalism, Paulson is surprisingly generous towards her time in an MLM and explicitly states that she’s happy she did it. The critiques of white supremacy are superficial and clash with the author’s moderate stance on politics.
I think a more convincing author would wait a few more years and put more distance between her and the company before trying to write a compelling reflection on it. I think the overall message is also weakened by the fact that she now owns a subscription-based Sober Mom network (?), which the last 15% of the book is an ad for.
I think a more convincing author would wait a few more years and put more distance between her and the company before trying to write a compelling reflection on it. I think the overall message is also weakened by the fact that she now owns a subscription-based Sober Mom network (?), which the last 15% of the book is an ad for.
August 18, 2023
I almost stopped reading this so many times and now that I’m done with it I wish I’d called it after a couple of chapters. It’s not a juicy tell-all, an interesting analysis, or even a deeply personal piece. I keep going back and forth between 1 and 2 stars but honestly, the thought of how many people the author screwed over, while making a pretty massive profit herself, decides it for me. Simply pointing out how much privilege you have in life doesn’t make your “problems” relatable.
November 11, 2023
this was very intriguing in the beginning but honestly i think this should’ve been shorter. although her story is interesting, i think she should’ve summed up a lot of what happened because honestly it was such a drag. i’m still happy i read this. very interesting topics on the types of people who get into MLM’s and how they trick you into thinking it’s feminist when it’s actually the exact opposite.
June 19, 2023
The writing style was still very "boss babe," and there is much better anti-MLM content out there (especially for the chronically online among us). The author throws around the phrase "white supremacy" at random points in the book, but does not give a strong, coherent argument about how MLMs reinforce white supremacy, which is the aspect of this book that I was most interested in reading. I can obviously see that MLMs are overflowing with white women, but I wanted more details!
June 24, 2023
This book gave me whiplash. How she talks about the toxic and predatory nature of MLMs and then talks about her latest business was unsettling. I agree with a lot of the two and three star reviews posted. She was a top earner for a reason. I gave it two stars for the bibliography and resources listed in the back.
August 9, 2023
As a milspouse, I've seen so many of these MLMs over the years. Thirty-one, Monavie, Cutco Knives, Tastefully Simple, Pampered Chef, Norwex, Stella&Dot, Nomades, Silpada, Matilda Jane, Gold Canyon Candles, Partylite, Scentsy, Jamberry, Lipsense, Monat, Nerium, Rodan&Fields, Doterra, Young Living, Usborne, and Lularoe. And probably some others that I've forgotten because no fellow military spouse ever invited me to one of their parties. But I have been invited to parties/demos/"career fairs" for all of the aforementioned shit, and in a few cases invited to become a consultant myself! Obviously, I missed the boat again and again and have resigned myself to a life of minimum wage scut work while raising children and banging out the occasional free book review. No fancy trips. No company car. No "team working for me" unless you count the aforementioned children who might occasionally deign to put their plates in the dishwasher, or fold their laundry while offering lots of "constructive feedback." :-D
The author mentions how these companies are scams and 95% of representatives will never even earn back their initial investment, then conflates this with White Supremacy... somehow. This never makes sense, because the typical target of an MLM scheme is an upper middle class white Stay-At-Home-Mom who is longing for acceptance, typically someone privileged enough to not need to work for awhile because her spouse is the breadwinner. Author insinuates that her wealth is an insulator from the MLM, while I would argue it's probably the opposite. A person who needs to work full time to put food on the table would buy an introductory kit, figure out the numbers and time commitment don't work, and would give it up after losing only a few hundred dollars, not the thousands upon thousands that full-time distributors can lose while "reinvesting" and "faking it til they make it." So... MLMs are bad because their very nature insulates Black/Brown/Poor people from being victimized by them....? I'm confused by that. It's like saying I'm disadvantaged because nobody is going to try and steal my yacht.
Anyway, this book started out with some promise, the author describes the cult-like behaviors that power MLM companies, which is helpful to the reader, but then it got soooo sloggy. She started working with this company after a high school acquaintance's little sister recruited her, and she became one of the major sellers in Seattle. She went to all the glitzy company events and took carefully filtered photos of herself using the products, having fun, and living her best life. She also alienated a bunch of people and became a blackout-level alcoholic. (She blames the MLM for this in the book, but it's clear to a reader that she absolutely had a substance abuse problem *before* joining. Sure it didn't help though.) Meanwhile, she'd earned "the car" and was raking in anywhere from $15K to $40K a month in downline commissions. But after she got arrested for a DUI, she went to rehab and after she dried out, she realized that it's shitty to harangue people into buying overpriced eye creams, and it's doubly shitty to harangue people into *peddling* overpriced eye creams so that you can level up in a pyramid scheme. Eventually (as in, a few hundred thousand dollars in commissions later), she decided to quit the scheme altogether. Because white supremacy.
I cannot stand this author/narrator. She is incredibly blind to her privilege in ways that are infuriating, and even by the end of the book doesn't seem to have caught much of a clue, and she's very hypocritical. Whatever her husband does, he makes enough money for her to stay at home with their five children, and even earned enough to be able to float her MLM sideline as it was getting off the ground. (Late in the book, she rips on Rachel Hollis for marrying a rich man to fund her business enterprises, but how are you different, Emily? Did you marry him *before* he was rich?) She doesn't seem overly contrite about the friends who were driven into debt after she'd recruited them into the company, including one whose family relations became very strained. A big random part of her thesis is that MLMs practice "white supremacy" because only wealthy white women can afford the startup costs. Given that this business structure is unprofitable to 95% of participants, why would you want to make it accessible to *more people* in the name of equality? Why not point it out as a predatory scheme that everyone should avoid?
One thing she pointed out that I hadn't been aware of was the level of political groupthink in MLMs. I know that many of them are overrun with Mormon SAHMs but she specifically mentioned things like QAnon and election conspiracies and tone-deaf responses to racial violence (women wearing charcoal-based face masks "in solidarity with their sisters of color," etc). Apparently, far right-wing echo chambering is not uncommon in some if not most MLMs.
Author, during covid, took her MLM spoils and got a certification in substance abuse counseling and currently peddles her skills as a public speaker.
The author mentions how these companies are scams and 95% of representatives will never even earn back their initial investment, then conflates this with White Supremacy... somehow. This never makes sense, because the typical target of an MLM scheme is an upper middle class white Stay-At-Home-Mom who is longing for acceptance, typically someone privileged enough to not need to work for awhile because her spouse is the breadwinner. Author insinuates that her wealth is an insulator from the MLM, while I would argue it's probably the opposite. A person who needs to work full time to put food on the table would buy an introductory kit, figure out the numbers and time commitment don't work, and would give it up after losing only a few hundred dollars, not the thousands upon thousands that full-time distributors can lose while "reinvesting" and "faking it til they make it." So... MLMs are bad because their very nature insulates Black/Brown/Poor people from being victimized by them....? I'm confused by that. It's like saying I'm disadvantaged because nobody is going to try and steal my yacht.
Anyway, this book started out with some promise, the author describes the cult-like behaviors that power MLM companies, which is helpful to the reader, but then it got soooo sloggy. She started working with this company after a high school acquaintance's little sister recruited her, and she became one of the major sellers in Seattle. She went to all the glitzy company events and took carefully filtered photos of herself using the products, having fun, and living her best life. She also alienated a bunch of people and became a blackout-level alcoholic. (She blames the MLM for this in the book, but it's clear to a reader that she absolutely had a substance abuse problem *before* joining. Sure it didn't help though.) Meanwhile, she'd earned "the car" and was raking in anywhere from $15K to $40K a month in downline commissions. But after she got arrested for a DUI, she went to rehab and after she dried out, she realized that it's shitty to harangue people into buying overpriced eye creams, and it's doubly shitty to harangue people into *peddling* overpriced eye creams so that you can level up in a pyramid scheme. Eventually (as in, a few hundred thousand dollars in commissions later), she decided to quit the scheme altogether. Because white supremacy.
I cannot stand this author/narrator. She is incredibly blind to her privilege in ways that are infuriating, and even by the end of the book doesn't seem to have caught much of a clue, and she's very hypocritical. Whatever her husband does, he makes enough money for her to stay at home with their five children, and even earned enough to be able to float her MLM sideline as it was getting off the ground. (Late in the book, she rips on Rachel Hollis for marrying a rich man to fund her business enterprises, but how are you different, Emily? Did you marry him *before* he was rich?) She doesn't seem overly contrite about the friends who were driven into debt after she'd recruited them into the company, including one whose family relations became very strained. A big random part of her thesis is that MLMs practice "white supremacy" because only wealthy white women can afford the startup costs. Given that this business structure is unprofitable to 95% of participants, why would you want to make it accessible to *more people* in the name of equality? Why not point it out as a predatory scheme that everyone should avoid?
One thing she pointed out that I hadn't been aware of was the level of political groupthink in MLMs. I know that many of them are overrun with Mormon SAHMs but she specifically mentioned things like QAnon and election conspiracies and tone-deaf responses to racial violence (women wearing charcoal-based face masks "in solidarity with their sisters of color," etc). Apparently, far right-wing echo chambering is not uncommon in some if not most MLMs.
Author, during covid, took her MLM spoils and got a certification in substance abuse counseling and currently peddles her skills as a public speaker.
January 8, 2023
Hey, hun, I hate MLMs.
I suppose I should identify my own bias before starting this review. I hate MLMs. I think they take advantage of people (mostly women) who are in various states of distress. They don't make their lives better and they don't make them rich. Sure, maybe one or two make some money but the vast majority get caught in a cycle of chasing the money they already lost. I could go on, but it would be easier to just read Hey, Hun by Emily Lynn Paulson.
This book does something a lot of anti-MLM documentaries don't. This book feels like a day by day walk-through of the soul-crushing life of a "consultant" for an MLM. I have no come across something which so thoroughly explains how even the people who seem to be winning in an MLM are still being victimized. Sure, most of us know that MLMs are bad, but did you know the "free" car many of them tout is far from free. Paulson explains how the car like many of aspects of the glamorous MLM life are really just another way to lose money.
Another aspect is the emotional manipulation rampant in this culture and how the people within it are often brainwashed and feel trapped when they start to see the light. This may be the most effective part of the narrative. Paulson is not a crusader. She knows and admits openly that she benefited significantly from her experience. However, she actively avoids criticizing the people within MLMs. They are victims and perpetrators. The system is on trial in this book.
There are other less successful narrative threads. We know MLMs are very white. The connection between this and white supremacy is not discussed enough to feel fully fleshed out. The pandemic politics discussion at the end of the book feels a bit rushed and tacked on when it could probably be eliminated entirely. These are minor quibbles when considering how much the book gets right.
(This book was provided as an advance copy by Netgalley and Row House Publishing. The full review will be posted to HistoryNerdsUnited.com on 5/30/2023.)
I suppose I should identify my own bias before starting this review. I hate MLMs. I think they take advantage of people (mostly women) who are in various states of distress. They don't make their lives better and they don't make them rich. Sure, maybe one or two make some money but the vast majority get caught in a cycle of chasing the money they already lost. I could go on, but it would be easier to just read Hey, Hun by Emily Lynn Paulson.
This book does something a lot of anti-MLM documentaries don't. This book feels like a day by day walk-through of the soul-crushing life of a "consultant" for an MLM. I have no come across something which so thoroughly explains how even the people who seem to be winning in an MLM are still being victimized. Sure, most of us know that MLMs are bad, but did you know the "free" car many of them tout is far from free. Paulson explains how the car like many of aspects of the glamorous MLM life are really just another way to lose money.
Another aspect is the emotional manipulation rampant in this culture and how the people within it are often brainwashed and feel trapped when they start to see the light. This may be the most effective part of the narrative. Paulson is not a crusader. She knows and admits openly that she benefited significantly from her experience. However, she actively avoids criticizing the people within MLMs. They are victims and perpetrators. The system is on trial in this book.
There are other less successful narrative threads. We know MLMs are very white. The connection between this and white supremacy is not discussed enough to feel fully fleshed out. The pandemic politics discussion at the end of the book feels a bit rushed and tacked on when it could probably be eliminated entirely. These are minor quibbles when considering how much the book gets right.
(This book was provided as an advance copy by Netgalley and Row House Publishing. The full review will be posted to HistoryNerdsUnited.com on 5/30/2023.)
August 18, 2023
This book is just one big bowl of “ick”. Feels as though the bookswas crafted from notes Paulson took from therapy sessions and outsider opinions… not from her own thoughts/feelings/conclusions/research: none of this felt genuine. Had her life not spiralled out of control, and her marriage been on the brink of failure would she feel this way? Or would she still be at the top of the pyramid?
While I’m sure it can be considered “brave” for Paulson to speak out against and expose the MLM she worked for…. At the end of the day, it’s hard to grasp her authenticity and intention for writing the book.
It’s sad because, so much of what made her vulnerable to and successful at the MLM culture… is exactly what makes this book a dud. She has zero personality. She is a privileged white woman who spent her whole life falling victim to basic white woman traps. Who is Emily at her Core ? I don’t think even she can answer this because she’s still living behind an idea of an image she feels she needs to curate to be likeable. I’m not trying to sound cynical or cruel- but where is the TRUTH? Where is her soul? She is baring nothing to the reader other than shiny surface level bullshit.
I want grit and I want ashes and I want unapologetic honesty and this books is sufficiently deficient in all 3.
I can’t help be feel like those who enjoyed this book and praise her strength and courage, are the same individuals who would have bought into her MLM sales pitch. Those who can’t see behind the facade.
While her ability to get sober is commendable, she is now using that as a sales strategy and personality trait.
I’m allowed 4 audiobook holds at a time, and the ONLY reason I finished this book is because I was annoyed that it had tied up one of my precious hold spots for so long… I felt obligated and secretly hoped that the narrative would take a drastic turn and Paulson would surprise me, but alas neither happened.
While I’m sure it can be considered “brave” for Paulson to speak out against and expose the MLM she worked for…. At the end of the day, it’s hard to grasp her authenticity and intention for writing the book.
It’s sad because, so much of what made her vulnerable to and successful at the MLM culture… is exactly what makes this book a dud. She has zero personality. She is a privileged white woman who spent her whole life falling victim to basic white woman traps. Who is Emily at her Core ? I don’t think even she can answer this because she’s still living behind an idea of an image she feels she needs to curate to be likeable. I’m not trying to sound cynical or cruel- but where is the TRUTH? Where is her soul? She is baring nothing to the reader other than shiny surface level bullshit.
I want grit and I want ashes and I want unapologetic honesty and this books is sufficiently deficient in all 3.
I can’t help be feel like those who enjoyed this book and praise her strength and courage, are the same individuals who would have bought into her MLM sales pitch. Those who can’t see behind the facade.
While her ability to get sober is commendable, she is now using that as a sales strategy and personality trait.
I’m allowed 4 audiobook holds at a time, and the ONLY reason I finished this book is because I was annoyed that it had tied up one of my precious hold spots for so long… I felt obligated and secretly hoped that the narrative would take a drastic turn and Paulson would surprise me, but alas neither happened.
Displaying 1 - 29 of 1,751 reviews