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PoMoSexuals: Challenging Assumptions About Gender and Sexuality
PoMo: short for PostModern; in the arts, a movement following after and in direct reaction to Modernism; culturally, an outlook that acknowledges diverse and complex points of view.
PoMoSexual: the queer erotic reality beyond the boundaries of gender, separatism, and essentialist notions of sexual orientation.
PoMoSexual: the queer erotic reality beyond the boundaries of gender, separatism, and essentialist notions of sexual orientation.
198 pages, Paperback
First published October 10, 1997
About the author
Carol Queen
43 books119 followersCarol Queen is an American author, editor, sociologist and sexologist active in the sex-positive feminism movement. Queen has written on human sexuality in books such as Real Live Nude Girl: Chronicles of Sex-Positive Culture. She has written a sex tutorial, Exhibitionism for the Shy: Show Off, Dress Up and Talk Hot, as well as erotica, such as the novel The Leather Daddy and the Femme. Queen has produced adult movies, events, workshops and lectures. Queen was featured as an instructor and star in both installments of the Bend Over Boyfriend series about female-to-male anal sex, or pegging. She has also served as editor for compilations and anthologies. She is a sex-positive sex educator in the United States.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews
May 26, 2012
This is probably the best book about gender and sexuality I've ever read. It discusses the many different facets of human sexuality that aren't necessarily mapped out by what you have between your legs or on your chest. In a world of cookie cutter voidoids who identify themselves purely by their sexuality (gym bunny fags and Michigan *barf* Womyn's Music Festival Nazis) not to mention the vast, dismal sea of heterosexism found in every-other-straight relationship out there, it's nice to read about people not afraid to realise that everything is a construct and they can be whatever the hell they feel like being...and sexuality...it's great...but it's not your definition of self. This book has temporarily saved my life, acting as a reminder (in a predominantly hetero/conventional relationship/sexuality town) that those outside the norm of stereotypical gay or nauseatingly straight actually do exist!
November 27, 2009
PoMosexuals was recommended to me by a friend who knows me, and knows I don't quite fit into any of the specific, prescribed queer identity labels.
She also knows I'm addicted to essay collections on queerness, sexuality and feminist topics. I love my friends.
Many of the essays weren't of interest to me, but some struck a chord. I felt, however, that the book didn't make much of an impact on me, at least not as I was expecting. As I was reading the essays I realised PoMosexuals was published 12 years ago, and this shows.
It's not that the conversation on gender and definitions has moved on, mind. Much of the LGBT 'gaystream' could really profit from reading it. Forgive the condescension, but among my lesbian friends, many still have doubts about the existence of truly bi people, let alone pansexual.
But the main problem with 'queerness' or 'pomosexuality' is that we give words weight, while at the same time forgetting they are cognitive tools. Words give us power and take it away, that's the primordial postmodern principle. But it comes full circle when we realise that if we opt out of that paradigm, we don't access the power that words and definitions give us. Queerness has the same problem, especially in its breadth. Anyway.
I personally found the involving despite not being eye-opening. Riki Wilchins' essay on having sex in a trans body was the closest to home, but so was the one about a small poly family unit under Soviet Russia.
I do recommend the book. Most essays will be of interest for those wanting to step away from rigidly defined queer identities and feeling like there's more out there to explore.
She also knows I'm addicted to essay collections on queerness, sexuality and feminist topics. I love my friends.
Many of the essays weren't of interest to me, but some struck a chord. I felt, however, that the book didn't make much of an impact on me, at least not as I was expecting. As I was reading the essays I realised PoMosexuals was published 12 years ago, and this shows.
It's not that the conversation on gender and definitions has moved on, mind. Much of the LGBT 'gaystream' could really profit from reading it. Forgive the condescension, but among my lesbian friends, many still have doubts about the existence of truly bi people, let alone pansexual.
But the main problem with 'queerness' or 'pomosexuality' is that we give words weight, while at the same time forgetting they are cognitive tools. Words give us power and take it away, that's the primordial postmodern principle. But it comes full circle when we realise that if we opt out of that paradigm, we don't access the power that words and definitions give us. Queerness has the same problem, especially in its breadth. Anyway.
I personally found the involving despite not being eye-opening. Riki Wilchins' essay on having sex in a trans body was the closest to home, but so was the one about a small poly family unit under Soviet Russia.
I do recommend the book. Most essays will be of interest for those wanting to step away from rigidly defined queer identities and feeling like there's more out there to explore.
June 17, 2016
I looked to this book to find people like myself [bisexual, genderqueer, polyamorous, loving a cisgender person and a transgender person], but mostly what I found was gay men and lesbians with little quirks, bisexuals who refused to be called bisexuals [and some that outright owned it, thank goodness], and people who were most likely transgender but couldn't yet bear to call themselves such. I was frustrated by most essays, especially the absolutely baffling "Beyond Bisexuality," in which sexuality comes down to a matter of math...? I enjoyed Pat Califia's "Identity Sedition and Pornography;" I have so much respect for him as a writer and a person, and his essay simply augmented that respect. Naturally, I had some trouble stomaching the outdated language of this book, including numerous uses of the grammatical failure "transgendered" and the uncomfortable "fag," and even one usage of the outright offensive "shim." Reading books like this shows me how far we've come as a community, and how much we still have left to learn.
July 5, 2023
even with some of the language being dated and nothing said being anything i didn’t already know, this book is what i want from a queer nonfiction/essay collection, because it’s the epitome of genderfuck and whatever the sexuality equivalent of that is.
content/trigger warnings; discussions of homophobia, lesbophobia, biphobia, transphobia, d slur, f slur, n slur, sex, abuse, incest, racism, lesbian separatism, intracommunity issues, aids, death, loss of loved one, suicidal ideation,
some quotes:
“we coin the term to situate this book and its essays within and in relation to the lgbt&f community. it is in every way an artifact of, and in many ways a backlash toward, this community—or rather, to certain assumptions widely held within and/or about it, essentialist assumptions about what it means to be queer. we react against these assumptions in the same way that in the art world postmodernism was a reaction against modernism.”
“hence the ‘pomosexual,’ who, like the queer s/he closely resembles, may not be tied to a single sexual identity, may not be content to reside within a category measurable by social scientists or acknowledged by either rainbow-festooned gays or by ward and june cleaver.”
“pomosexuality lives in the spaces in which all other nonbinary forms of sexual and gender identity reside—a boundary-free zone in which fences are crossed for the fun of it, or simply because some of us can't be fenced in. it challenges either/or categorizations in favor of largely unmapped possibility and the intense charge that comes with transgression. it acknowledges the pleasure of that transgression, as well as the need to transgress limits that do not make room for all of us.”
content/trigger warnings; discussions of homophobia, lesbophobia, biphobia, transphobia, d slur, f slur, n slur, sex, abuse, incest, racism, lesbian separatism, intracommunity issues, aids, death, loss of loved one, suicidal ideation,
some quotes:
“we coin the term to situate this book and its essays within and in relation to the lgbt&f community. it is in every way an artifact of, and in many ways a backlash toward, this community—or rather, to certain assumptions widely held within and/or about it, essentialist assumptions about what it means to be queer. we react against these assumptions in the same way that in the art world postmodernism was a reaction against modernism.”
“hence the ‘pomosexual,’ who, like the queer s/he closely resembles, may not be tied to a single sexual identity, may not be content to reside within a category measurable by social scientists or acknowledged by either rainbow-festooned gays or by ward and june cleaver.”
“pomosexuality lives in the spaces in which all other nonbinary forms of sexual and gender identity reside—a boundary-free zone in which fences are crossed for the fun of it, or simply because some of us can't be fenced in. it challenges either/or categorizations in favor of largely unmapped possibility and the intense charge that comes with transgression. it acknowledges the pleasure of that transgression, as well as the need to transgress limits that do not make room for all of us.”
Read
September 14, 2014Wow. I almost never reread books, and I can't think of a time I wanted to begin a book again the moment I read the last page, but this book affected me that way. It's deep and refreshing, full of essays that are both personal and thought-provoking. I got a ton out of reading it, and I know I could get more by reading it again. This will be of particular interest to anyone who feels they don't fit neatly within a certain gender or sexuality label, but I think it would be great if it were read much more widely than that. It introduces important nuance to subjects that are all too often treated as black and white.
PoMoSexuals was published in the late 90s, and there are ways that it is obviously dated. Current social trends have moved from where they were at the time the authors were writing. Honestly, however, the book comes off as all the more significant and prescient considering that. I found these voices from the past valuable in that they predicted ways society was moving and commented insightfully on those issues. It also gave me insight into feelings I had during the late 90s, since it reminded me of ideas that were floating around at the time.
The book did make me a little sad. Some things it discusses, such as the stereotypes faced by bisexuals, do not seem to me to have improved much since the time the book was published.
PoMoSexuals does not pretend to comprehensive discussion of gray areas, and some sections are covered better than others. However, I would say it's a vital exploration of territory that's ignored far too often.
PoMoSexuals was published in the late 90s, and there are ways that it is obviously dated. Current social trends have moved from where they were at the time the authors were writing. Honestly, however, the book comes off as all the more significant and prescient considering that. I found these voices from the past valuable in that they predicted ways society was moving and commented insightfully on those issues. It also gave me insight into feelings I had during the late 90s, since it reminded me of ideas that were floating around at the time.
The book did make me a little sad. Some things it discusses, such as the stereotypes faced by bisexuals, do not seem to me to have improved much since the time the book was published.
PoMoSexuals does not pretend to comprehensive discussion of gray areas, and some sections are covered better than others. However, I would say it's a vital exploration of territory that's ignored far too often.
July 9, 2017
This book was likely a golden book for its time (in the 1990s). However. as a 2017 reader, you can definitely tell it's dated. (such as through the use of some terminology found in the book). The book is essentially a book that begins to dive into understanding the concept of pomosexuality (which is coined by this book), but majority of it is made up of different snippets of life stories from different people exploring their own sexuality, that wouldn't fit "typically" LGBT+ labels (bisexual, gay/lesbian, etc.). Asexuality was NOT well known at the time of this book, so I'm not surprised it isn't really mentioned in said book.
I would advise readers to NOT jump into this book, expecting just a book about exploring philosophies and sociology behind LGBT+. That is NOT what this book is (though the title and book description might give that impression). As someone who enjoys reading about different kinds of "queer/LGBT+ theory", this book does give a good taste of exploring "What is the gray area of LGBT+", but I feel like this book leaves more to be desired.
This book would be ideal for people just beginning to explore their sexuality, as well as for those who want to be challenged about what "exactly" is "lesbianism/gayness" and "bisexuality". I feel that the contemporary Pomosexual community (as in the 2017 individuals who identify as Pomo, since that's the year of this review) would greatly benefit from writing an "updated" version (per say) of the idea and concept of pomosexuality.
On a side note, there are sections of this book that get explicitly sexual with some depictions of the individual peoples' sex lives. If you are sensitive to those descriptions, you can honestly skim those sections of the book and still get a good idea of how the different people are exploring their sexuality.
I would advise readers to NOT jump into this book, expecting just a book about exploring philosophies and sociology behind LGBT+. That is NOT what this book is (though the title and book description might give that impression). As someone who enjoys reading about different kinds of "queer/LGBT+ theory", this book does give a good taste of exploring "What is the gray area of LGBT+", but I feel like this book leaves more to be desired.
This book would be ideal for people just beginning to explore their sexuality, as well as for those who want to be challenged about what "exactly" is "lesbianism/gayness" and "bisexuality". I feel that the contemporary Pomosexual community (as in the 2017 individuals who identify as Pomo, since that's the year of this review) would greatly benefit from writing an "updated" version (per say) of the idea and concept of pomosexuality.
On a side note, there are sections of this book that get explicitly sexual with some depictions of the individual peoples' sex lives. If you are sensitive to those descriptions, you can honestly skim those sections of the book and still get a good idea of how the different people are exploring their sexuality.
February 25, 2008
kate bornstein was correct in saying this book would change how i view things, as cliche as that may sound. i have always rejected the terms gay/lesbian/bisexual because the notion of there only being two genders (XX, XY, XO, XXY, XXO, etc. being various "common" chromosomal orders though the anomalies are dubbed as "syndromes") seems alien to me. however, along with my queer self-identity, i have a tendency to carry, "i like female bodied people because of their female bodies and i like male bodied people because of the male bodies and i would like others but i haven't had the oppurtunity yet ..." but inherently, i meant that there was a female-female way of loving in my relationships with female-bodied people while there was a female-male way of loving in my relationships with male-bodied people and i never realized how constricting that was. i have reprimanded myself in the past when i would fantasize about old female-bodied lovers "penetrating" me, saying that was putting a heteronormative paradigm on a supposedly liberating relationship. however, though i should have known this, sexuality is far more subtle than the labels and identities we give ourselves and to others. the idea of changing my genitalia was not anything new to me but something i am thinking about more and more after reading the accounts of other transsexuals.
May 10, 2007
half way through.
i have some hesitations about this book because it claims to take on the hefty task of breaking down boundaries within/among queer identities and queer sex. certain essays are really amazing and well written while others have a dry style or present breakdowns that are a little "last week".
the dorothy allison essay is incredible. read it if only for allison's essay.
i have some hesitations about this book because it claims to take on the hefty task of breaking down boundaries within/among queer identities and queer sex. certain essays are really amazing and well written while others have a dry style or present breakdowns that are a little "last week".
the dorothy allison essay is incredible. read it if only for allison's essay.
June 7, 2013
I need to read more books like this. Reading this book was like falling into someone's arms, or taking a warm bath. Reminded me that it's okay to be messy and outside of the boxes. Reading books like this helps me break down the labels until they dissolve into people.
June 26, 2023
Read the entire thing today while road-tripping. I simply couldn’t put it down! As someone who remained in the closet for years due to feeling inadequate in my own queerness, I wish I had discovered this collection sooner. I still struggle with these feelings of inadequacy, but this book felt like a salve on that wound, or a comforting and reassuring hug from someone you trust. I won’t actually bother reviewing it on any intellectual capacity because I can’t do it justice, and frankly, dissecting it doesn’t matter to me. It was a book that I needed in my life, especially in this moment, and I’m grateful to have finally read it. Sure, there’s some outdated lingo, but it’s 2023 and I live in the US, which is apparently hurtling face first into fascism. I’m focusing on what really matters here: intention. I believed it was well intended and desperately needed. If you can relate to any parts of this review, then you might need this book, too. ❤️
April 9, 2022
It starts off feeling less like a necessary read in a world steeped in very vague and often weaponized post-modern thought, and there are times it reeks of…
WELP just looked it up! All these authors are white! And that’s why. It’s palpably myopic in this way. One of the authors acts like they HAVE to write the n-word to prove something about power words have. Bad piece !
It had a lot of good reminders, and maybe a couple important realizations for me, and it helps to read if you yourself need validation that your experiences are Queer, I suppose.
But I’m white too
Damn I came in with a much stronger review for this book!
There are some strong pieces in this compilation. (Lol some not) I can imagine it is a strong substitute and entry point for a very specific subset of people, but with the Internet that set gets waaaaay smaller
WELP just looked it up! All these authors are white! And that’s why. It’s palpably myopic in this way. One of the authors acts like they HAVE to write the n-word to prove something about power words have. Bad piece !
It had a lot of good reminders, and maybe a couple important realizations for me, and it helps to read if you yourself need validation that your experiences are Queer, I suppose.
But I’m white too
Damn I came in with a much stronger review for this book!
There are some strong pieces in this compilation. (Lol some not) I can imagine it is a strong substitute and entry point for a very specific subset of people, but with the Internet that set gets waaaaay smaller
July 17, 2024
I think this book suffers from a lot of the same problems much older queer non-fiction has in that its outdated. A lot of the topics discussed within this book aren't necessarily groundbreaking and simply show just how old this book is as many of the identities represented have their own terminology now. I mainly enjoyed the chapters regarding relationships between self-proclaimed lesbians and gay men as well as the last chapter about a Russian poly relationship. Still a nice book to have as a reference/a piece to look back on regarding how far our language has come.
August 4, 2021
A product of its time that opened up my eyes to a myriad of queer writings; one of the best anthologies I’ve read thus far. Was easy to set down between authors and pick back up again with the switch of a topic, though some subject matters felt like they were not reflective of a modern take to queerness (though, to be fair, Pomosexual’s entirety stands to defy the very definition of queerness). Overall a great read with absolutely lovely editing and intro.
March 27, 2019
Surprisingly excellent given its age (a year older than I am) and contains several lyrical, unique essays in relationships between gender and sexuality that aren’t usually explored, particularly gendered embodiment and specific sexual desires.
March 6, 2018
Very graphic, much more than what I usually read, but very good. I loved the exploration into confusion, bisexuality, and fluidity. A short read, but very mentally taxing.
October 27, 2020
A little dated, since it WAS published in the 90s, but entertaining and interesting.
October 7, 2023
Quite outdated now but still good. The interaction between me, a straight woman, and the content was itself an exercise in challenging assumptions about gender and sexuality.
July 9, 2018
Fantastic. This was written in 1997 but felt very relevant to 2018 queer life in terms of cultivating expansive attitudes toward orientation and gender.
August 26, 2007
About the ways in which individual sexual identity does not fit perfectly into the Lesbian/Gay, Straight, or Bisexual catagories created (and also some about gender being non-binary). It is a wonderful explanation through personal experiences and analysis as to why folks might identify as Queer, Pansexual, or not at all as a way to specifically choose not to identify as gay or bi.
Much of what it covers has become a such a part of my day to day life that I might not have found it very enlightening if I first read it today. However, when I did read it, it was incredibly formative of my personal identity development. And even reading it more recently, I find it to be full of good stories and useful to trace how the ways people have represented such perspectives have changed. And the fact that it seems less revolutionary today than it did when I first read it seems to be more indicative of how what it is about is so incredibly significant and has spread rapidly through queer communities in the decade.
Much of what it covers has become a such a part of my day to day life that I might not have found it very enlightening if I first read it today. However, when I did read it, it was incredibly formative of my personal identity development. And even reading it more recently, I find it to be full of good stories and useful to trace how the ways people have represented such perspectives have changed. And the fact that it seems less revolutionary today than it did when I first read it seems to be more indicative of how what it is about is so incredibly significant and has spread rapidly through queer communities in the decade.
January 4, 2011
This work embodies everything that all texts surrounding gender fucking should have years ago, it is a must read for anyone that thinks their collection falls short, it will complete it as well make you question everything you already think you know.
Required reading for everyone as far as I am concerned, I was in love with this book as soon as I saw Carol Queen, Kate Bornstein in the same work. My favorite story in this would be "Loaded Words" by Greta Christina. If there is one thing you do over winter Please read this, just saying...
Required reading for everyone as far as I am concerned, I was in love with this book as soon as I saw Carol Queen, Kate Bornstein in the same work. My favorite story in this would be "Loaded Words" by Greta Christina. If there is one thing you do over winter Please read this, just saying...
January 8, 2011
Not a lot here that's completely groundbreaking or that I haven't read somewhere else, but still pretty worth your time. There's quite a bit of personal essays in here that are either steamy or candid and bare. Since everybody is entitled to their story and everyone's story is different, these proved to be the most interesting pieces. The more theoretical parts were rather dry and didn't quite introduce me to anything new. Overall, a good read.
August 29, 2007
A very interesting, sort of folksy collection of queer theory essays. Leans more toward the personal than the academic which is always a plus for me. A really good place to start an exploration of gender/sexuality fluidity.
Possibly out of print....if you really want to read it and you know me, I will lend you my copy. But you'll have to swear to guard it with your life! :)
Possibly out of print....if you really want to read it and you know me, I will lend you my copy. But you'll have to swear to guard it with your life! :)
June 18, 2008
I loved this book. I think it will be a book that I pick up occasionally - just as the preface suggests - and find inspiration / solace / something to be mad about / something to be happy about.
It's a great book for anyone trying to figure out how their identity fits into the dominant queer community.
It's a great book for anyone trying to figure out how their identity fits into the dominant queer community.
March 28, 2013
I read this at 19, and I don't know if it would hold up for me now, but I know that, at a time when I was struggling with the pressure to fit into prevailing sexual categories and my inability to do so, this book blew my mind and made the life I wanted to build feel possible. I would probably recommend it still for baby queers-- and, possibly, for older queers, as well.
November 8, 2016
I loved this book in college, but after reading it a second time I've concluded that it's absolutely boring. Most of the stories seemed to revolve around butches and FTMs who fucked men and did a lot of naval-gazing about identity. I got the feeling they felt this was somehow way cool and radical.
Meh.
Meh.
April 11, 2008
This book turned me on with just the right mix of queer theory and erotically charged narrative. I finished this on the plane to a trans conference and reveled in the complexity of these intelligent personal reflections on gender and sexuality.
July 5, 2017
This was a pretty good book as an overview of people who don't quite feel they fit into the convenient gay/lesbian/straight categories. It was certainly very interesting, although I would have preferred something which had gone into more detail - it won't be the last I'm reading on the subject!
October 25, 2010
This was challenging to read, because I lack a foundation of the literature in sexuality and gender studies. But after hearing Carol Queen speak at an event, I had to try it. I'm grateful these ideas are circulating!
June 1, 2013
Loved it. Read it. Definitely a little dated with some language usage and I think there's mention of a pager at one point. But the important ideas and concepts presented are in no way dated. Still could be considered quite progressive by some. Everyone should read this.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 51 reviews