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Like Mother, Like Son: From the Deepest Despair of Mental Illness to the Grittiest End-Of-Life Battle With Metabolic Syndrome

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She was carried off by law enforcement in a straitjacket. She was committed and institutionalized. She was carted off on a gurney by paramedics over 20 times with 10 visits ending in the ICU (intensive care unit). She lost her husband and caretaker. More than once, she was thought unfixable by society, family and the medical profession.

Like Mother, Like Son tells the inspiring story of an ordinary mother and homemaker who overcame mental illness and loss to live her best life. With her indomitable spirit, she faced her end-of-life illnesses with strength, grace and a smile.

Experience the power of perseverance and grace in the face of adversity with this heartwarming tale. Through the eyes of her son and caretaker, discover the incredible impact dogs can have on healing and motivation.

In Like Mother, Like Son, you will witness
 
A journey of overcoming mental illness and loss, with dogs, exercise and love. Lessons on perseverance, second-chances, grace, and strength. Insight into the power of love and her family of dogs. An intimate look into the life of an indomitable woman. Heartwarming memories shared by her son.


The Foreword was written by Daniel Fredman, M.D. - Diplomate of Psychiatry, American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology.

311 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 1, 2024

About the author

Stephen Bryant Biles

1 book33 followers
Stephen was born in Morenci, Arizona, a small copper-mining community in rural, eastern Arizona.

He attended college at Arizona State University and received bachelors degrees in Business, Political Science and History.

He served political internships in the Arizona House of Representatives and the United States Senate.

He worked in various positions at Phelps Dodge Corporation (later to become Freeport McMoRan) as he followed in the footsteps of his dad and granddad in the copper mining industry.

Stephen loved tennis as he taught children and adults of all ages and skill levels how to play the game. He formed leagues and volunteered with the high school team in Morenci.

After his father passed away in 2000, Stephen became the caretaker/life coach for his mother for the next 22 years.

During the Great Recession of 2008, Stephen resigned from the only company he ever worked for and followed his passion for dogs and entrepreneurism and formed a company, Dogs 24/7 LLC.

In 2024, his company was ranked #11 on the fastest growing alumni-owned companies published by Arizona State University. Also that year, he released “Like Mother, Like Son”—the life story and amazing journey of mother and son.

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Displaying 1 - 18 of 18 reviews
Profile Image for Karen.
2,072 reviews572 followers
June 12, 2024
Stephen contacted me, and asked if I would consider reading his biography/autobiography about his life in caregiving his mother and the life of his mother. His gracious ask for me to read his book was actually a gift he gave to me.

From the moment I picked it up last night to begin reading, to the moment I finished it this morning (well, I did have a few hours of sleep in-between) were filled with tears, and smiles for the respect and awe of this amazing man and his utmost devotion to his mother.

I have been sincerely moved by his compassion, sensitivity, solicitousness and tender-heartedness.

He says he was afraid he didn’t do enough. I say, I have never seen a person so invested, so incredibly empathetic and understanding when faced with such a responsibility at such a young age.

So, yes, to read his book and offer this review was a gift given to me.

The moment readers are opening these pages we are introduced to a woman, Shirley Ellen Biles, who is faced with difficult odds. A life filled with a mental illness diagnosis that will require multiple hospitalizations and immense patience and duty from a husband Don who has his own demons in alcohol addiction.

Young son, Stephen watches helplessly as he attempts to find his own way through understanding, but still looking for his own escapes, as any young kid who needs to figure their own life path.

When Dad dies, Stephen has a decision to make. He chooses to become his mother’s full-time caregiver. This will take tremendous responsibility. But his love of her will change the trajectory of both their lives, which will include dogs and some cats that will help balance out Shirley’s life under Stephen’s close tutelage.

Amazingly, Stephen carves out a successful doggie day care business, and through healthy determination is able to help Shirley immensely. And through the pages we meet many dogs they also lovingly adopt, that come into their lives and bring tremendous love and joy to them.

Stephen is meticulous in his care of his mother, and his records show this throughout his story. As he is able to bring her mental illness issues into balance another health issue rears itself called metabolic syndrome which he describes as “a cluster of conditions that increase the risk of heart disease, stroke and diabetes” which he helps to manage for her. His devotion to his mother shows through the pages, and our hearts feel it, too.

Stephen shared 3 goals he wanted to accomplish on behalf of his Mom…consistent exercise, socialization and a feeling of independence. It is obvious to the reader what he is able to achieve with her. And, it is obvious how much she thrived under his care. The two were such a remarkable team together.

And of course, there were the dogs. They both drew their strength from the dogs.

To read these pages was like reading a love story. Only, it was about a mother and son and their life together.

I am a mother of two sons. I can only hope that if anything ever happened to me, that my sons would be there for me in the same way. I know my sons love me. But I definitely would want them to be like Stephen, advocating for me. Sons, are you listening?

This is a book that deserves to be read.

I want to thank the author for this complimentary book for our Little Free Library Shed. I am providing an honest review.
Profile Image for Stephen Wallace.
713 reviews93 followers
May 28, 2024
As a dog book reader, I would like to talk about Like Mother, Like Son, from that perspective first before I write about the book is really about, which is of a devoted son and his tough mother.

An aspect of the book is similar to ‘Amazing Gracie’ by Dan Dye of creating a business with a goal to help dogs. In this case the author wanted a place that could board dogs in an open family environment and help with boarding needs 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. He leaves a secure and profitable position. He does day trading to make income and started the boarding dog business thinking that ‘the doggy daycare would develop into a company on autopilot. ‘ instead:

‘Very quickly, that turned out to be fantasy. The company was bleeding cash every month. In the first year, | made just under $100,000 in sales, but spent well over $200,000. This big cash flow deficiency killed my ability to day trade because the cash | was using to trade stocks was disappearing into payroll and rent for the company. | saw the end of my business and the sad need to apply for a job if things didn’t change fast.’

He worked hard to get things going:
| would try and take every job | could get with people calling us. | handled the phones and email traffic. If someone wanted a pet sitting in the middle of the night, | would take that job. If someone wanted a pet sitting in their house for 3 weeks of visits twice a day, on the other side of town, | would take that job. If they had an elderly dog or puppy that was not allowed in our daycare, we would take that client as well and they would stay with “Grandma Shirley” (my mom).

I liked hearing how the business grew and dealt with challenges including the tough times from the COVID pandemic.

Stephen and his mom had like 5 or 6 dogs they owned and are talked about in the book. I never get tired of hearing dog stories. Here are a couple of my favorites from the book:

‘Our favorite game at bedtime was what we called “Bed drop”. it was a rather complicated game that involved all three dogs at mom’s house. Mom was in bed watching and Brandy was up on the bed with her. Bubba, Penny and | would be positioned on the floor. | would throw a tennis ball to Brandy on the bed, and she would catch it perfectly and then Bubba would rush to the end of the bed where Brandy would be standing. | would say, “Bed drop Brandy, Bed drop!” She would drop the ball into Bubba’s mouth, and then he would rush over to me as | lay on the floor in the corner of the bedroom, and he would give me the ball. Then we would start the cycle again by throwing it to Brandy. Penny’s role in the game was to kiss my face and especially my eyes so | couldn’t see well enough to play the game with the other two. We loved to play bed drop almost every night until it was time to turn out the lights and go to sleep.’

‘Then on October 14, there was the big irrigation scandal in mom’s backyard. Sakari managed to find and dig up every irrigation tube connecting all the backyard irrigation system. He seemed to be proud of himself and couldn’t understand my disappointment. He had found and destroyed all the “evil snakes” hiding underground in the backyard. He felt very accomplished.’

So, from a ‘dog book’ perspective I was happy with the book.

The main theme of the book though is on Stephen’s devotion to help keep his mom sane and healthy, I think all of us can appreciate a slice of life story overcoming challenges. I think people facing similar challenges would find some inspiration in the book.

I also liked how the story was set in Arizona, my home state. Although I never have been to Morenci, there were other locations and aspects I shared with the author. As I worked for a while at the Maricopa County hospital psych ward, I could also recognize some of the drugs used to combat mental illness.

I loved how Stephen kept her motivated as indicated in this passage:

‘After her voluntary admittance to Charter Behavioral Hospital, | visited her on one occasion. Her depression continued, she again talked about purpose and questioned why she should go on with life. | had extensive talks with her about why she had a purpose. | told her... “Because you are mom and the center of my world. I need your help and encouragement to make it through college. Don’t you want to see me graduate? I try so hard to make you proud. Your daughters need you, especially Donna with the new baby. We all look to you for guidance, love and support. We need our mom. We will always need our mom.” ‘

And I think there are few children who would be as committed to helping their parent in the same way. Here is a passage that explains his strategy for caring for her:

‘My strategy with mom was going to be different than dad’s approach. First, | was more optimistic about her potential than dad. Secondly, | was ready and able to put in the work to get her to a better place. Dad didn’t have the patience or perseverance to follow through day after day with vigilance. | knew she would follow my directions without question. | was going to be her beacon of hope, her drill sergeant and coach all rolled into one.’

Getting back to the dog aspect of the review, people always want to know if Kleenex is needed for the dog in the end of the story. (Never mind the people, but hey! That’s pretty sad too!) When a book spans 25 years or more, and there are multiple dogs during the book, you are going to have some sadness from animals passing. I would still say, dogs, and moms, give us so much joy while they are here, and the details of stories told of them, that it is worth the pain we inevitably must deal with in the end.

So, overall, a good and inspirational book. I enjoyed the slice of live details, especially as recognized places (especially restaurants) in Arizona, but some might find a few details a little more than needed, but it is a quick read. I am left in awe of what a great son Stephen was to his mom.
Profile Image for June Price.
Author 7 books73 followers
July 23, 2024
Since I read this one in spurts, between other books I've committed to review, and dealing with the real world, my apologies if this doesn't quite flow. It's an intense read but one that anyone who has ever dealt with mental illness in the family can relate to. Needless to say, I flashed back to my own experiences dealing with dementia in the family, so it hit close to home at times.

It begins with the recounting of the author's mother, Shirley Ellen Biles, being taken away in a straight jacket. The author is about 8-9 at the time and has grown up dealing with his mother's breakdowns much of his life. I'm honestly impressed that the author can recount this story so well given all the emotions that had to be riling within him. He mentions his mother turning on his father violently, striking out and shrieking at him, something I experienced first-hand, so I could definitely relate to the emotions and I was an adult at the time. Paranoid schitzophrenia and the dementia that I experienced aren't the same but seem to have shared many of the most visible characteristics. Treatments were primitive by today's standards but doctors did seem to work out a medical treatment that allowed Shirley to maintain her core self for longer and longer periods. I won't detail them as, quite frankly, the meds used were unfamiliar with me and I don't want to misspeak.

The book is basically broken down into three parts, perseverance, phoenix, and post struggles. We're given an intimate look at the patient's prior life, including her childhood and marriage. To complicate matters, Stephen's father was an alcoholic, dealing with his own demons, hardly preparing him to cope with his wife's mental illness. His presence, however, somewhat shielded Stephen until 1981, when his father passed away. I won't detail the journey as not only does the blurb do an good job of covering the basics but there are already some excellent, detailed reviews out there, but Stephen's life changed forever. Manic depression and periods of paranoia and hyper-energy from his mother followed, and that's just the tip of the iceberg facing the Biles family. Stephen's unwavering devotion to his mother never failed, however, even when forced to leave one profession and begin another that, initially, was anything but a success. That would change but that is where dogs began to play a major role in the journey. But, first, a few more details....

One aspect of this journey to save his mother from the depths of despair that I'd highlight is his willingness to work closely with the medical professionals involved in Shirley's treatment. As noted, her illness, even today, isn't a simple one to treat. Medicines and treatments had to be fine-tuned and adapted as Shirley's situation changed. Dr. Fredman, who wrote the foreward, was one of the doctors involved early on, btw. Note, it's predicted one in four Americans will experience some form of mental health issue in their lifetime, so this is a story that could apply to any of us. It's a story that will both warm and hurt your heart but you'll admire the love and trust that existed between mother and son throughout. It isn't always an easy story to read, either, so keen those tissues handy. Shirley's intense drive to get better and Stephen's willingness to sacrifice to meet their mutual goals are inspiring, however. I should note the basic goals, too: consistant, meaningful exercise, maintaining social contact, and being able to feel independent, ie like she was having a say in her own life and treatment, were at the top of the list. Through it all, Stephen faced the task of keeping not only her motivated but, of course, himself. I didn't note the exact words but at one point he says he was both her drill sergeant and couch as well as her lifeline and inspiration.

As for the dogs, they do play a role in the story. When forces to leave his job behind, Stephen found himself "going to the dogs", cliche that it is. The family had always had dogs and he ultimately decided to try to make a go of it starting a doggie day care. Dogs had always been a huge part of the family's life and it seemed a natural. But, it wasn't easy. You'll meet many of the dogs that passed through their lives, all leaving a mark. Initially forced to take any and all jobs caring for the dogs, even if it involved driving distances in the middle of the night, Stephen had a secret weapon. His mother. Shirley, who customers seem to have come to think of as part of their canine's family, too, played a huge role, often helping care for the more difficult dogs. Do be forewarned, since this story covers more than two decades, it is inevitable that some of these dogs will pass during the story so, as noted early, keep those tissues close although, quite frankly, I found these dog stories and roles more inspiring than saddening.

Bottom line, this is a story that as difficult as some sections were to read, deserves to be read. While sadly, even after beating back her mental issues, Shirley was than faces with medical issues that are also shared, it's an inspiring story. Anyone who has ever felt despair while dealing with the illness or caring for those it has impacted, will know both that they aren't alone and that as hopeless as things may seem at times, there is hope. I don't feel like this quick overview has done justice to the book but hope many will give it a read. You'll come away wanting to hug your loved ones closer and, yes, that includes your furry family friends.
Profile Image for Hannah.
1 review
April 19, 2024
Deeply Touching

An epic tail of the love between a mother and son. I was awestruck by Stephen’s perseverance and dedication to advocating for his mother in every situation as well as Shirley’s fighting spirit throughout all of her trials and tribulations. It is truly inspiring to read about their unconditional commitment to each other.

Stephen also beautifully describes how healing the love of dogs can be and I’m not afraid to say I cried multiple times while reading about the wonderful life him and his mother gave their fur babies.

Overall, a fantastic read with amazing photos sprinkled throughout that make this story one of a kind.
1 review
April 17, 2024
An incredibly heartwarming story of the love and devotion a son has for his mom.
In this book, Stephen delves into the deeply personal and challenging journey of becoming the primary caregiver for his mom. In making this courageous decision, he makes several changes to ensure that his mom continues to live life to the fullest despite the challenges she faces. We get to travel through the many joyous memories shared with him and his mom, his cousin and of course their beloved animals.
This book is not only deeply moving but incredibly uplifting, inspiring others to continue moving forward despite the difficulties they may face. It celebrates the power of love, sacrifice, and resilience in the face of adversity; while reminding us of the profound impact of compassion and kindness.
Truly a great read! There is something to be taken away for everyone!
1 review1 follower
April 22, 2024

This is obviously a son’s labor of love for his mom. Dealing with mental illness affects more than the patient it affects the entire family. Stephen made it clear in his book. His unconditional love for his mom is evident in the way he educated himself on her treatment and care. His story is a quick read, he keeps up your interest. Stephen has a talent for writing and telling a story. I loved this book.
212 reviews
May 14, 2024
A Good Book

This book is an honest evaluation of the lives of an interesting mother and son pair. They faced many challenges and overcame them with grit and determination.
Profile Image for Madison Van.
1 review
April 23, 2024
Reviewed in the United States on April 23, 2024
This piece was beautifully executed by the author Stephen. Walking us through the trials and tribulations of caring for his mother, making sacrifices and being her advocate through life’s trials. You experience a story of perseverance and unwavering love for not only family but also for animals and the therapy they provide. Bringing a light to the world of mental illness, I didn’t want to stop reading. Despite all odds and all opinions so many challenges were overcome and a beautiful life was lived. A truly inspirational story.
Profile Image for Christine.
354 reviews
June 23, 2024
I was asked to read an ARC (Advanced Reader Copy) of the 2nd edition of this book. I have submitted some suggestions for correcting some typographical, grammar, and spelling errors and am writing an honest review with the assumption that the author will be making improvements before the book in published, or provide updates to the book.
In the 1800’s and early 1900’s in America, there was a proliferation of self-published memoirs and poetry. In addition, there were historical records made of the founding of many small American towns with biographies of prominent citizens. I’ve enjoyed reading some of these historical descriptions of American life. Just as in these early, self-published works, the author of "Like Mother, Like Son" has written an biography of his mother and an autobiography of himself, which describes their family journey through mental health, alcoholism, and caring for an aging parent with health challenges. There is a content warning here: there are no-holds-barred unpleasant descriptions of health issues and death, both of people and dogs. Although, the book has descriptions that are unpleasant to read, the descriptions provide some valuable points for provoking some thinking about what kind of plans could be implemented in your own care as you age.
The book lacks a Table of Contents, so here are the titles of the chapters. This will give you an idea as to how the book in organized:
Forward, Preface, Part 1 The Perseverance, Chapter 1 Into the Abyss (1980-1993), Chapter 2 Birth & Childhood (1936 – 1955), Chapter 3 Marriage and Family (1955-1980), Chapter 4 The Lost Years (1993-2000), Part 2 The Phoenix, Chapter 5 Waking from the Slumber (2000 – 2002), Chapter 6 City Slicker (2002 – 2005), Chapter 7 Independence (2005 – 2009), Chapter 8 The Culture of Dogs (2009-2017), Part 3 The Indomitable, Chapter 9 Heart Surgery (2017), Chapter 10 Stroke (2018), Chapter 11 Shingles (2019), Chapter 12 Congestive Heart Failure (2020), Chapter 13 Kidney Failure (2021), Chapter 14 Conclusion (2022), Epilogue
The book lacks a bibliography or list of suggested readings.
When I was a child, during the 1950’s – 1960’s, taking a lot of 33mm slides of your vacations and sharing them with friends became a popular thing to do. It also became a bit of a joke because it seems for a lot of us, watching someone else’s vacation pictures was a bit of a bore. In this book, there are a lot of descriptions of the numerous trips and vacations that were taken. These parts were boring and not of interest to me. The narrative was like the family books that were put together for our family reunions: only interesting to the family. However, the author has put together some history of his family that 100 years from now might be kind of interesting.
I usually record all the locations and places in a book while I am reading it and then list the locations in my review. There were too many locations listed and I couldn't get an organized list together, so I’ll just conclude by saying that most of the memoir takes place in Morenci, Arizona.
Just my 2 cents – I just turned 73 years old. My family and friends are going through similar transitions. Children of aging parents need to be aware of their own selfish bias when it comes to their parents. Just because your mom says she loves her family and grandchildren does not mean blind glaucoma eye, hearing aids, knee replacement grandma should be driving her grandchildren to after school activities and watching them for you like she’s a day care. It’s stressful – and a form of elder abuse. Plus, should she really be driving? Quit asking grandma to supply the 7 different pies for Thanksgiving – she loves you, and won’t refuse, but it’s too much for her. Don’t sell off Grandma’s house and move her into your spare bedroom, then start using the money in her account to pay your household expenses. It’s elder abuse and illegal and in my state, it’s double illegal because she an elderly person and you are stealing from her. Don’t co-mingle her money with yours. Get a lawyer, if you are planning to take care of someone, and involve other family members; you don’t want misunderstandings later. Have plenty of insurance.
I am looking forward to all the wonderful possibilities for mental health in the future. Psychologists are now able to map out brain activity and plan some fantastic neurofeedback for brain training and healing.
April 17, 2024
This is a beautiful and bittersweet story of one family's love and commitment to each other and their dogs, and how that love gave them the strength and resilience to persist and to overcome addiction, abuse, disabilities, mental illness and loss with compassion, grace and dignity. It is also a poignant story of the impact a dog's love can have on the healing and restoration of a family.

This story is told through the eyes of the son, as he immerses the reader into his life and his family in real time. From the cousin hopelessly addicted to drugs, whose love for his blind dog changes the course of an entire family's future, to the mentally ill mother shunned by society who finds healing, friendship, renewed purpose and joy, this true story is at turns compelling, riveting, awe-inspiring, and encouraging - a beautiful reminder to the reader to face our challenges boldly, to find joy in the simple moments, to love with true devotion, and to always have a dog (or three) by your side.

As you follow this family's trials and triumphs through the generations, you will laugh, you will weep, you will look at your own life with a new perspective, and you will be encouraged that there are people like this author in the world.
May 6, 2024
I enjoyed this book and will read it again.
I am a casual reader, and hardly ever read a book all the way to the end. Stephen’s Grandfather Sunny GO Biles and my Grandfather were long time friends so I decided to read the book.
I started reading the book while sitting in the lobby of Mayo Clinic for a full day of appointments. I continued reading the book after I got home and the next couple of days.

Back in the 1960s, one of my Uncles suffered from Mental Illness and ended up in a VA Mental Hospital for the last 25 years of his live. Back in the 1960s we did not talk about Mental Illness. Mental Illness was thought to be uncurable.
I grew up in the same small town as the Bile’s Family. I am older than Stephen and his sister so I never got to know them. Knowing much of these events happened where I grew up, made we want to read the Book.
Everyone from our small town (Morenci AZ) takes pride in the success of families, friends, and neighbors. Reading about the long battle it took Stephen to rid his mother from the grip of Mental Illness made me realize that love and dedication and heal better than prescription drugs.

April 18, 2024
This is a heartfelt and thought-provoking testimony of unconditional love between a mother and her son. We are taught that a soulmate is someone who will be an intimate partner, but that's not always true. A soulmate is anyone who helps another through difficult times in life, no matter the sacrifice! Shirley and Stephen were just that to each other. Their story is one of joy, laughter, and peace, as well as fear, anger, and sadness. It's all here in their magnificent journey of being humans. If you are a caregiver this story will give you insights as to how the act of caring for another is as much for the caregiver's soul growth as it is for the person receiving the care. The story also conveys just how important the role of their dogs were to the both of them throughout this journey. A riveting account with twists and turns, you will find this book difficult to put down!
2 reviews
April 16, 2024
"Like Mother, Like Son" beautifully intertwines the narratives of caregiving and entrepreneurship, showcasing the remarkable bond between a son, his mother, and their beloved dogs. Through vivid storytelling and unwavering perseverance, this inspiring tale highlights the power of love and resilience in overcoming life's challenges. From providing solace for mental illness to flourishing in the dog industry, the journey detailed within these pages is nothing short of extraordinary. Prepare to be deeply moved and inspired as you immerse yourself in this captivating story of triumph.
Profile Image for Shelley Bueche.
Author 3 books3 followers
June 23, 2024
Author Stephen Biles takes the reader on his personal journey caring for his mother “from the deepest despair of mental illness to the grittiest end of life battle with Metabolic Syndrome.” Not content to stay in the waiting room, Biles develops an in-depth knowledge, along with compassion, of caring for his mother during her many illnesses. Along the way, both Stephen and his mother, are joined by canine companions every step of the way. Reading this emotional book helps provide a framework for advocacy, both human and canine.
8 reviews
Want to read
July 20, 2024
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Profile Image for Gina Piatt.
5 reviews
April 24, 2024
Compassion and willingness to understand leads to the attestment of love of family

Often on the outside people don’t understand how much love and compassion and daily thoughts go into caretaking someone. To give someone the life that they deserve with the help that one has access to, greatly impacts the value of a loved ones life. Developing a way to live life while maintaining some independence for everyone is tricky buisness - I was cheering them on throughout the book with each situation and difficulty faced. Only to get to the other side with grace and dignity each person deserves.

This well thought out book of Stevens lived experience with his mother shows so many of the minute details that only comes from experience of living it. Having been in the position to take care of my elders and loved ones throughout the years, I do understand that one must do it for the love, because there will always be resistance.

What a beautiful honor, not only to his mother but his beloved uncle, not everyone gets to be free from mental illness or addiction to go on and live with dignity. Thank you for writing this book, it certainly was a joy to read. I can’t wait for the paper version as I will be putting it on my shelf.


1 review
May 9, 2024
Wow, so much to say. A powerful story, told with so much vulnerability by the author. The challenges, the love and the dedication will resonate with many. We seldom see the challenges that other families face, sometimes because those challenges are not evident and sometimes because we don't want to see them. Stephen lays it out for all to see in hopes that others may benefit from his experience. Made me a bit emotional at times. Much respect, this is a must read!
1 review
May 13, 2024
I have a review of my own from previously. I am writing this review on behalf of my dear friend in another state, whom received this book as a Mother’s Day gift from me. My friend shared the story has brought healing to her family as well. It validated that these words need to be heard. Thank you again, Stephen!
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