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Do I Know You?: A Faceblind Reporter’s Journey into the Science of Sight, Memory, and Imagination

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An award-winning science writer discovers she’s faceblind, and investigates the neuroscience of sight, memory, and imagination — while solving some long-running mysteries about her own life.

Science writer Sadie Dingfelder has always known that she’s a little quirky. But while she’s made some strange mistakes over the years, it’s not until she accosts a stranger in a grocery store (who she thinks is her husband) that she realizes something is amiss.

With a mixture of curiosity and dread, Dingfelder starts contacting neuroscientists and lands herself in scores of studies. In the course of her nerdy midlife crisis, she discovers that she is emphatically not neurotypical. She has prosopagnosia (faceblindness), stereoblindness, aphantasia (an inability to create mental imagery), and a condition called Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory.

What Dingfelder learns about the brain captivates her. What she learns about the places where her brain falls short forces her to reinterpret major events from her past and grieve for losses she didn’t even know she’d had.

As Dingfelder learns to see herself more clearly, she also discovers a vast well of hidden neurodiversity in the world at large. There are so many different flavors of human consciousness, and most of us just assume that ours is the norm. Can you visualize? Do you have an inner monologue? Are you always 100% sure whether you know someone or not? Do you know your left from your right? If you can perform any of these mental feats, you may be surprised to learn that many people — including Dingfelder — can’t.

A lively blend of personal narrative and popular science, Do I Know You? is the story of one unusual mind’s attempt to understand itself — and a fascinating exploration of the remarkable breadth of human experience.

304 pages, Hardcover

First published June 25, 2024

About the author

Sadie Dingfelder

1 book10 followers

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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
Profile Image for Liralen.
3,048 reviews223 followers
June 18, 2024
Dingfelder knew she wasn't great at remembering faces—but mistaking another man for her husband at the grocery store (there's a whole thing about peanut butter) was one of the clearer clues that she just might have something more going on than a bit of spaciness. And so began a quest to figure it out: a seasoned reporter, Dingfelder reached out to scientist after scientist running studies on the brain to learn more about face blindness and other associated conditions...and to get herself into those studies to see where those conditions fit into her own experience.

I spent a fair amount of time, while reading, trying to come up with a fitting word for the book's tone, and for now at least I've landed on punchy. Dingfelder brings a lot of energy to the project, and although the book is full of research, it's never dry. The tone wasn't 100% for me—personal preference—but the science is fascinating and more than makes up for it. If you haven't heard of face blindness (prosopagnosia), have a look at some photos of people you recognize...and then flip those photos upside-down and see if how much more difficult it is to recognize them. There's science behind why some people can recognize other people instantly, even if it's been years, and others struggle to place the face of their own family member (guess which camp Dingfelder falls into)—and a lot of that science is worked into the book—but at its core, what you need to know is that it's not as simple as having a bad memory for names.

Face blindness sounds lonely to me. I've only met one person who identified as having it (though probably I've known other people with some degree of face blindness, whether or not they were aware of it), and I don't know what her experience was like (though I will be recommending this book to her!), but it sounds like something that can be really isolating without the sorts of tricks that Dingfelder learned along the way. But it's not all loneliness (and for all that I said that the tone wasn't always my personal preference, this bit made me giggle):

"I hardly remember anyone from school anymore," I say. "Honestly, I don't even remember your kids' names, or how old they are, or what you do for work, or where exactly you live."

"You've always been like that," Brown Anne says.

"No one expects you to remember things," Red Ann says. "We expect you to tell good stories."

My heart floods with joy and gratitude. These guys really know me! And while the facts of their lives slip through my fingers, I know them too—amorphous things, like the cadence of their speech, the kinds of drinks they will order, and how they will respond to my stories about learning to drive. (Red Ann: concern for my safety; Brown Anne: concern for other people's safety.)
(loc. 1989*)

A very quick read for those who are insatiably curious about medical curiosities...or just insatiably curious in general.

Thanks to the author and publisher for providing a review copy through NetGalley.

*Quotes are from an ARC and may not be final.
Profile Image for Ula Tardigrade.
247 reviews26 followers
March 19, 2024
Funny and surprising tour of the intricacies of the human brain. It piqued my interest as I suffer from a mild case of prosopagnosia - and after reading it I feel much better about myself. The author shows what neurodiversity really means and how it makes us all different. And, as the author writes, “at the moment when humanity is facing existential-level challenges, we need all brains on deck”.

Sadie Dingfelder has a real knack for making very complicated issues accessible. The first-person narrative works well here, as we join her on an expedition to diagnose herself and discover the roots of her uniqueness. I soon found myself rooting for her, even though I sometimes wondered if she wasn't writing this book to get free access to very expensive medical procedures - she jokes about it a lot, but then again, with American health care costs, who could blame her?..

Thanks to the publisher, Little, Brown and Company,, and NetGalley for an advanced copy of this book.
Profile Image for Ginny Muse.
713 reviews66 followers
July 21, 2024
Fascinating!

A science based book about facial blindness wouldn’t usually be on my radar. But I saw an interview with this author and Katherine Center, who is a romcom author. Sadie had helped Katherine write her main character in Hello, Stranger, who developed prosopagnosia (or facial blindness.) Sadie seemed to be engaging and interesting, so I thought I’d give her book a try.

Within this book Sadie is also so engaging and interesting. She tells of her personal journey, including many humorous incidents, as well as more of the scientific side of her conditions. Turns out, she not only has prosopagnosia (facial blindness), but also at least some aspects of stereoblindness, aphantasia, SD-AM, topographical agnosia, left-right confusion, and auditory processing dysfunction. (I might be wrong. These are big words and new concepts for me. But I was trying to take notes and understand more about these brain differences.) Sadie made it all sound relatable and interesting. My family wasn’t very interested in discussing all of my newfound knowledge with me, and they weren’t quite sure that I always hit curbs when I drive due to some stereoblindness that may be the result of poor eyesight in my left eye as a child 🤣 but the book gave me a lot to think about. The brain is fascinating!

I listened to a lot of this on audiobook, and Sadie does an excellent job with the narration. Who knew listening to a science based book could be so fun? If you’re interested in the topic but afraid of reading a brain science book, give the audio a try. But I did read a good bit with my eyes as well to help me see the big words and get a better grasp of some of the topics.

This might be a 5⭐️ book because I think the author definitely meets her goals of writing a scientific book that is also interesting, engaging and even entertaining. But for me it’s still a non-fiction science book that had me zoning out at some points. Even though I found it to be so interesting, it’s maybe 4⭐️ for me. It was very enlightening and really had me thinking and wanting to discuss the differences Sadie presents. I’d definitely recommend this book to others, so I’m bumping it up to 5⭐️.

A great quote from the book:
‘When you feel like an alien trying to fit in among humans, finding other aliens with similar difficulties makes you feel so much less alone.’
It’s really a great perspective on neurodivergence and how understanding more about brain differences can help us understand each other so much better.
Profile Image for Becky B.
8,287 reviews139 followers
April 2, 2024
Sadie Dingfelder mistook another man for her husband in the grocery store. Not recognizing people wasn't a new thing, but something clicked after this incident which had Sadie asking if she was legitimately, scientifically, diagnosably faceblind. Did she not just have a bad memory, but prosopagnosia, the inability to remember faces? Using her reporter skills, she started reaching out to researchers and people in the medical field to find out how to get tested. What she learned led her to discover not only why she couldn't remember faces, but why other things that seemed easy to other people were more challenging to her, like driving, birdwatching, remembering personal details about others, visualize internally, and more. Diving into areas of neurodivergence on beyond autism and ADHD, she uncovers how she and others like her see the world, and how the neuroprocessing world is incredibly diverse and sometimes hard to articulate or diagnose.

The author reached out and asked if I would like an eARC of her book with no strings attached. It sounded like an interesting read so I said yes. And I'm very glad I did. Sadie Dingfelder's story of personal neurodivergence discovery is absolutely fascinating and engagingly written. Learning how her brain interprets the world and in a way that isn't ideally suited for the way we structure the world for most people, it is amazing how she made it into her 40s without realizing many of these things. She is incredible at adapting, finding personal work arounds, and making things work for her. (Even the tricks and workarounds she shares she used to write the book.) She's a resiliency superwoman. It was also very brave of her to share her story with the rest of the world, but I think the payoff will be great. It will be eye-opening for many neurotypical readers and hopefully make us more empathetic to those with brains that function "differently" (though there's a good argument made as to whether any of our brains operate "normally"). After reading this, I realized one of the students I work with likely has a spacial memory challenge she mentions and would explain why he can never remember where things are even in very familiar settings. It has challenged me to be more observant and see if he really can't remember of if he's just being lazy as I assumed. How many people assumed the author couldn't remember their name because she was lazy? It's a challenge to give people the benefit of the doubt rather than jump to conclusions. I believe it will also make many readers who have brains like Sadie's in some aspect to feel more seen, and possibly like they've found someone who understands them for the first time. Read it for the fascinating science and personal discovery story, but walk away with your empathy and understanding increased for those you come into contact with.

Notes on content [based on the ARC]:
Language: About 10 minor swears
Sexual content: She mentions conditioning a boyfriend with phone discussions of a sexual nature, no details.
Violence: None
Ethnic diversity: The scientists and friends of the author come from diverse backgrounds.
LGBTQ+ content: None specified
Other: The author recounts doing MRIs several times. Her learning to drive accounts may make some readers anxious. Recreations of many of the visual tests are provided in a sample so readers can test themselves. The author mentions an experience trying LSD as a teenager. Faceblindness, stereoblindness, aphantasia, and Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory are all explored and discussed in detail.
Profile Image for claire sauter.
169 reviews7 followers
February 9, 2024
thanks to netgalley & little brown & company for the free earc in exchange for a fair and honest review!

this is a well written book about a very niche topic. if you’re interested in prosopagnosia or stereoblindness, this is a good read. it definitely was interesting to me, as i have a strong interest in psychology and neuroscience.
hearing first-hand reports about different neurological conditions is very interesting to me, and this author’s ability to thread personal experiences and scientific research together was very good.

Profile Image for Stephanie Rodriguez.
90 reviews2 followers
February 1, 2024
I usually gravitate towards reads like these.. utterly unique and educational. The title alone already drew me in. But boy did I not expect to fly through it. Sadie was hysterical and that's what made this book so digestible and a pleasure to read. She was teaching AND making me laugh at the same time. Despite numerous medical (neurological) jargons...I mean A WHOLE LOT OF BRAIN SCIENCE you will come across, Sadie Dingfelder did an amazing job in demystifying the nature of her condition. This book taught me so much on how I see the world. It was raw, witty, vulnerable and empowering. Can't wait to read more of her work. Thank you to NetGalley, Little, Brown and Company, and Sadie Dingfelder for the chance to read this book in advance.
1 review1 follower
April 17, 2024
Such a well written, interesting book! I really love this author.
1 review
June 6, 2024
Although I don't mind reading more academically written literature on subjects like these, it definitely was a delight to read about the complex human brain and its mysteries in the entertaining and funny way Dingfelder writes. It is also put in an almost linear timeline (except some relevant flashbacks for further context), which further enhances her pursuit for answers about her brain and personality, which hopefully also shed some light on some awkward social situations of the past and present.

Not only is this an (in my humble opinion) objectively interesting book about Sadie's pursuit for answers, but maybe some of the readers who also thought their own experiences and senses were just like everyone else's, might discover something of the contrary - just like Sadie Dingfelder did.
3,298 reviews35 followers
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March 8, 2024
Thank you Ms. Dingfelder! I Knew I wasn't the only with this condition! It's wonderful to actually find a book on it! Absolute must read for any one with it or for their family and friends who seek to understand it. I have often wished people came in more colors and varieties; everyone is so generic! And touchy- I get accused of racism when I can't even recognize my own family members out of contex! Life is alternately funny and terrifying. Great book, well written. I recommend reading by everyone and think it would make a great classroom or book club read.

I received an arc from the publisher in exchange for a fair review.
Profile Image for Mason.
46 reviews3 followers
April 24, 2024
Thanks to Netgalley for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.

So, just to start…I found the author mildly insufferable, but in a completely innocuous way. She’s not someone I would like to be friends with but seems like a good soul. Sometimes you just dislike people’s vibes, and this was one of those moments. This will definitely color my entire review.

I’m faceblind, so the second I saw this book I jumped on it. I cannot tell you how many times I mistook childhood friends for others with the same hair color, how many times I had to ask who someone was during my own high school graduation, how creative I have to get at work when trying to describe a customer…Ugh. I have two customers who know intimate family details as well as my last name, swear they are my aunts, and recognize me on sight. To this day I have no idea who they are. I probably chat with them at family reunions. They have my phone number. Who are they? No idea.

So, a memoir about faceblindness and other neurodivergent brain stuff? Count me in!

I don’t read many books on this topic, so I went in blind (pun intended). It was an interesting read! There was a great blend of science alongside narrative experiences, which meant it was full of fascinating information without being too dry or heavy. I don’t think I’ll read anything by this author ever again, because I just plain disliked her vibes, but I don’t regret picking up her memoir.
Profile Image for Veronica Foster.
94 reviews7 followers
June 24, 2024
Do I Know You? is half memoir, half deep dive into neuroscience, and all fascinating. As an adult, author Sadie Dingfelder is struck by the idea that some of her more consistent personality quirks--such as forgetting not only her friends' faces, but also what they're like and how she knows them--might have a scientific explanation. She embarks on a journey that takes her to MRI machines around the country and concludes with a variety of diagnoses as well as a more complete understanding of why her life has unfolded the way it has. The book bounces between descriptions of Dingfelder's odd-one-out childhood and her present-day search for medical answers. I found this organization somewhat hard to follow; chapters are organized roughly chronologically and by diagnosis, but the shifting timeline can make each new scientific inquiry feel like deja vu, since they largely follow the same path of survey-scan-results. Still, Dingfelder's introspection is compelling, and I finished the book with a new understanding of the variety of forms that neurodiversity can take. (For example, it seems possible that my inability to remember how to get to the cafeteria in the school where I've taught for over a decade is not just a silly character trait but a sign of topographic agnosia, or place-blindness). I imagine many readers will experience similar revelations. Even if you don't discover new language for your personal neurological reality, you will have new fodder for conversation: What does your brain do when you're thinking? How much of your personal past do you remember? Can you find your way around your hometown? Do I Know You? is a fun, interesting read, and one that might just increase your appreciation for your own brain and the brains of others.
5 reviews
July 6, 2024
There are several reason to read this book. 1) you are one of those nerds who likes learning stuff and are interested in neuro-diversity; 2) you want to read a meta-memoir where the author is also research subject, or 3) you know some weirdos in your life and are curious what might be going on behind the scenes. I know Sadie personally, and experienced a little version of the revelation she experiences in the book. Her friends always knew her as a "quirky" socialites, but I, at least, did not clock her for anything scientifically unusual. So while it was surprising when she started telling us about finding out she was faceblind, and beginning the journey that led to this book, it was also somewhat explanatory. In the end, you may never see your friends the same way again...
100 reviews3 followers
May 27, 2024
There are several vision problems that are present in children at a young age -- color blindness, lazy eye, and stereo blindness (face blindness), as well as others. Face blindness is apparent in childhood and adults precipitated by injury. This book is autobiographical as it describes her diagnosis, descriptions of the manifestation of face blindness in her life and her exploration of remedies to help her cope.
Profile Image for Thomas Kelley.
429 reviews11 followers
July 8, 2024
Can you imagine forgetting someone's face or the person all together, walking right pass a person that is a family member, a friend or a coworker with these people thinking that you are rude or stuck up? Going to a movie and not being able to follow the story line because you cannot recognize the faces? How about getting into a wrong car or getting lost in your brother's house.
This is the case with the author who finds out she has a condition called face blindness, but she discovers this at the age of forty years old when she starts to write down all the strange things that have happened to her. According to the author this is a condition affects six million people including Steve Wozniak and Colorado U. S. Senator John Hickenlooper. She covers many conditions that affect people concerning their sight whether has to do with their eyes or their brain. It was interesting to read the conditions that affected artist. She relates a funny and sad incident that involved her in a store where she was calling a man a hypocrite because of items in his back when she thought it was her husband. amazing to read how the scientific community still does not really understand how our brain works to allow us to see in 3D. It was sad to read how there are individuals who cannot visualize what the read so it just becomes words on paper. On the flip side there are individuals who have the ability to super recognize, and it was interesting to read how the police force used these individuals' ability. I have more respect for when you go to an MRI machine, and they tell you to make sure you have no metal on you as she briefly relates some incidents relating to how powerful the magnets are on these machines. This in my opinion is a well-researched book but there is a lot of scientific information, and this causes the book to bog down some but overall, a pretty good read.
Profile Image for Alana.
121 reviews4 followers
July 1, 2024
I think I wanted more science and less biography, so I may have had mis-expectations coming in. The writing style is not pleasant to listen to; not sure if it's the aphantasia or reporter that results in the seemingly juvenile presentation of information.

This book successfully introduces new information about physical and cognitive visual differences but an in depth exploration needs to be found elsewhere.
Profile Image for Cari.
Author 18 books159 followers
July 17, 2024
This was a really intriguing book about Sadie Dingfelder's neurodivergent brain. It started as an investigation into her prosopagnosia (face blindness) and why she couldn't recognize people based on their faces. As Sadie journeyed further into her biology, she discovered several other conditions that interacted with her face blindness. This is a great combination of reporting and memoir. The voice is really funny, and readers will learn a lot about these neurological conditions.
Profile Image for Jesse Claflin.
329 reviews
July 13, 2024
I listened to the audiobook. It’s read by the author and honestly I did not love her voice/the accents/voices she put on for other people. But as someone who has aphantasia (and a poor autobiographical memory and trouble with faces) I knew I had to read this as soon as I saw it. It was interesting but not life changing.
Profile Image for Sadie Dingfelder.
13 reviews1 follower
February 25, 2024
My opinion is a little slanted, as I am the author. I just wanted to say, any of you "want to read" folks -- drop me a line at sadie d at gmail and I'll send you a galley proof/ advanced readers copy (while supplies last). I hope you like it!
Profile Image for Akasha.
47 reviews
July 7, 2024
This is a fun look at understanding how one person identifies people and their connections in their life. It's always interesting to see how other people perceive the world. Sadie makes her perception explicit as she identifies how she is similar/ different to the norm.
July 21, 2024
Densely packed with scientific research woven through entertaining self-reflective anecdotes makes this both a highly informative and entertaining read about neurodivergency.
Profile Image for Jen.
181 reviews
Read
July 23, 2024
As someone who will not recognize people if they put on a hat and who can’t find her way out of a paper bag, this book spoke to me!
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