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Holding It Together: How Women Became America's Safety Net
Other countries have social safety nets. The U.S. has women. Holding It Together chronicles the causes and dire consequences.
America runs on women—women who are tasked with holding society together at the seams and fixing it when things fall apart. In this tour de force , acclaimed Sociologist Jessica Calarco lays bare the devastating consequences of our status quo.
Holding It Together draws on five years of research in which Calarco surveyed over 4000 parents and conducted more than 400 hours of interviews with women who bear the brunt of our broken system. A widowed single mother struggles to patch together meager public benefits while working three jobs; an aunt is pushed into caring for her niece and nephew at age fifteen once their family is shattered by the opioid epidemic; a daughter becomes the backstop caregiver for her mother, her husband, and her child because of the perceived flexibility of her job; a well-to-do couple grapples with the moral dilemma of leaning on overworked, underpaid childcare providers to achieve their egalitarian ideals. Stories of grief and guilt abound. Yet, they are more than individual tragedies.
Tracing present-day policies back to their roots, Calarco reveals a systematic agreement to dismantle our country’s social safety net and persuade citizens to accept precarity while women bear the brunt. She leads us to see women's labor as the reason we've gone so long without the support systems that our peer nations take for granted, and how women’s work maintains the illusion that we don't need a net.
Weaving eye-opening original research with revelatory sociological narrative, Holding It Together is a bold call to demand the institutional change that each of us deserves, and a warning about the perils of living without it.
America runs on women—women who are tasked with holding society together at the seams and fixing it when things fall apart. In this tour de force , acclaimed Sociologist Jessica Calarco lays bare the devastating consequences of our status quo.
Holding It Together draws on five years of research in which Calarco surveyed over 4000 parents and conducted more than 400 hours of interviews with women who bear the brunt of our broken system. A widowed single mother struggles to patch together meager public benefits while working three jobs; an aunt is pushed into caring for her niece and nephew at age fifteen once their family is shattered by the opioid epidemic; a daughter becomes the backstop caregiver for her mother, her husband, and her child because of the perceived flexibility of her job; a well-to-do couple grapples with the moral dilemma of leaning on overworked, underpaid childcare providers to achieve their egalitarian ideals. Stories of grief and guilt abound. Yet, they are more than individual tragedies.
Tracing present-day policies back to their roots, Calarco reveals a systematic agreement to dismantle our country’s social safety net and persuade citizens to accept precarity while women bear the brunt. She leads us to see women's labor as the reason we've gone so long without the support systems that our peer nations take for granted, and how women’s work maintains the illusion that we don't need a net.
Weaving eye-opening original research with revelatory sociological narrative, Holding It Together is a bold call to demand the institutional change that each of us deserves, and a warning about the perils of living without it.
336 pages, Hardcover
First published June 4, 2024
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Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews
June 12, 2024
If you can get past the (near constant) use of academic terms like, "DIY society", "Engineers", "Profiteers", this book will hit you a lot more powerfully. I am guessing this is a dissertation that was converted into a book- to which I say, congrats to the author! That's hard to do, after approaching your work from a solely "publish for academia/policy" kind of place.
That being said, as a former instructor, this would be a *great* addition to a college course related to the topics of gender, sociology, economics, public policy, reproductive rights, etc. in compliment to academic texts.
My favorite contributions included the beautiful (if sometimes dense and repetitive) side by side analyses of policies, systemic structures, and cultural trends that have contributed to the reasons women in the US seem structurally "stuck" in many ways, like they were in the 50's or 60's, despite the fact that many of our (and our male counterparts') mindsets have changes eons ago.
This book serves as a wise reminder that although cultural perspectives and opinions can change in an instant- the policies and systems we have in place as a country, religious system, family generational expectation, etc.- takes so much longer to catch up.
I also enjoyed references to Ben Franklin (as I would!), but not in the context I would have expected. She points out, that despite rags to riches experiences of many who have paved the way (or not...) for women's rights over the years, tend to buy into the very cultural opinions that tried to hold them back (once they "make it").
Last comment: I feel this was a bit unfair to the rising demographic of men, for instance, who would gladly be caregivers, or stay at home, if the current dynamic for pay/salary, expectations, etc. weren't what they were. In many cases, guys seem to get "slammed" because they feel the perks of a masculine run society. I don't feel many men under the age of 40 or so, default feel this way anymore, but that could be me...
Not an enjoyable, cozy, or vacation read. Important? You Betcha. For men, women, kids, anyone who generally benefits from, or lives in, a society with women in it.
That being said, as a former instructor, this would be a *great* addition to a college course related to the topics of gender, sociology, economics, public policy, reproductive rights, etc. in compliment to academic texts.
My favorite contributions included the beautiful (if sometimes dense and repetitive) side by side analyses of policies, systemic structures, and cultural trends that have contributed to the reasons women in the US seem structurally "stuck" in many ways, like they were in the 50's or 60's, despite the fact that many of our (and our male counterparts') mindsets have changes eons ago.
This book serves as a wise reminder that although cultural perspectives and opinions can change in an instant- the policies and systems we have in place as a country, religious system, family generational expectation, etc.- takes so much longer to catch up.
I also enjoyed references to Ben Franklin (as I would!), but not in the context I would have expected. She points out, that despite rags to riches experiences of many who have paved the way (or not...) for women's rights over the years, tend to buy into the very cultural opinions that tried to hold them back (once they "make it").
Last comment: I feel this was a bit unfair to the rising demographic of men, for instance, who would gladly be caregivers, or stay at home, if the current dynamic for pay/salary, expectations, etc. weren't what they were. In many cases, guys seem to get "slammed" because they feel the perks of a masculine run society. I don't feel many men under the age of 40 or so, default feel this way anymore, but that could be me...
Not an enjoyable, cozy, or vacation read. Important? You Betcha. For men, women, kids, anyone who generally benefits from, or lives in, a society with women in it.
June 14, 2024
This is a pretty searing indictment of how the US lets women and families down, leaving us to do all the hard work of care with no money or support. The basic outline was familiar to me, having read a lot on the subject (there's only so many ways to say that we dump everything on women because we don't want to pay, we want to penalize women for "doing it wrong," and we don't value care work), but the details and data are great. Men get hit hard and justifiably so: either the husbands and partners profiled explicitly gender caring roles, or profess to believe in equality in theory while justifying arrangements that dump everything on mothers, even when those mothers out-earn them. Women are further penalized in the workplace for having caring responsibilities they can't forgo, and government fails to help because of a pervasive social belief that if we all made the right choices we wouldn't need it.
My one biggest criticism comes towards the end, when she blames political failure to change things on votes being bought. Maybe that's true for Joe Manchin, but even for him I don't think so, and it's definitely not true for the Republican Party, and it goes against all the evidence she's presented. They genuinely believe in this state of affairs, because they want women to be staying home and doing domestic work, regardless of the consequences. They believe that changes that would be positive for women would be negative for men, or at the very least require them to change, and they don't want to. It's become a too-easy accusation on the left to say that when politicians don't want to do the right thing, they've been bought. It feels true, in a world where money talks. But it's wrong. They accept money from big business that doesn't want labor protections and women's rights because it's what they already believe. Money alone doesn't create misogynistic policy.
My one biggest criticism comes towards the end, when she blames political failure to change things on votes being bought. Maybe that's true for Joe Manchin, but even for him I don't think so, and it's definitely not true for the Republican Party, and it goes against all the evidence she's presented. They genuinely believe in this state of affairs, because they want women to be staying home and doing domestic work, regardless of the consequences. They believe that changes that would be positive for women would be negative for men, or at the very least require them to change, and they don't want to. It's become a too-easy accusation on the left to say that when politicians don't want to do the right thing, they've been bought. It feels true, in a world where money talks. But it's wrong. They accept money from big business that doesn't want labor protections and women's rights because it's what they already believe. Money alone doesn't create misogynistic policy.
July 12, 2024
Me, listening to the chapter about women rearranging their work schedules to make up for the gap caused by the lack of affordable childcare, as I drive to my job, where I work every weekend because of the lack of affordable childcare: 👁️👄👁️
June 8, 2024
You probably want to read about a well-reasoned explanation of how women in America became the social safety net. In your mind, a safety net has a meaning. It is what stops a thing from crashing when all other well-laid plans have failed. But this is not what you will find in this book. When you finish this book, you might think that women do almost everything in American society. They are the only ones exploited, underpaid (the zombie wage gap statistics lumbers forward in this one), and performing thankless jobs. Why? Because if you do not pay careful attention, you might not notice when the argument shifts. From the stated aim, the book is supposed to be an ode to the women who do the work of holding it together and an effort to show how their underpaid but essential labor keeps our society—and our economy—from falling apart. . But when you put it this way, it becomes an almost meaningless proposition. Because men and women are essential in keeping society from falling apart.
But my problem is not that the book fails in this. It is that it ends up making a different point. This book is about another problem, about women who, through different life circumstances, found themselves in positions of financial precarity.
By rating this book low, I do not intend to signal that I do not sympathize with these women. I do. My low rating merely signals the fact that this book does not fulfill its aim.
In the end, what you will notice with this book is that it is not an argument or an explanation of how women became the social safety net, but how PARTICULAR WOMEN are in need of a social safety net. It’s not about how women are holding society together but about how some women are barely holding it (their finances) together.
A well-written book about how women are America’s safety net would explore how women provide the invisible work that keeps the visible economy humming. In such a book we will see that both men and women are holding the economy together but that the ECONOMICALLY INVISIBLE aspects are mostly provided by women. Such a book, if well-argued, would be true whether the women are wealthy or poor. It would be true both for those who are forced into being stay at home mothers and those who eagerly choose it because they are wealthy enough to afford it. And most importantly, it would be true not just for mothers but for grandmothers and aunts. In other words, it would be true regardless of financial precariousness.
But such a book should not just be filled with stories of women suffering under the heavy financial burden caused by low minimum wage and insufficient welfare. Poverty is an equal opportunity problem. In fact, I bet that if you ask many of the women represented in this book what their problem is they won’t say it is the invisible work they do; they will most probably say it is low wage. They will most probably ask for more safety net rather than ask to have their safety net status removed. If this book were about poverty and low wages, and the author’s suggestion for ameliorating it, it would have been true to its aim. But this is most assuredly not a book about how women (in particular) are America's safety net.
But my problem is not that the book fails in this. It is that it ends up making a different point. This book is about another problem, about women who, through different life circumstances, found themselves in positions of financial precarity.
By rating this book low, I do not intend to signal that I do not sympathize with these women. I do. My low rating merely signals the fact that this book does not fulfill its aim.
In the end, what you will notice with this book is that it is not an argument or an explanation of how women became the social safety net, but how PARTICULAR WOMEN are in need of a social safety net. It’s not about how women are holding society together but about how some women are barely holding it (their finances) together.
A well-written book about how women are America’s safety net would explore how women provide the invisible work that keeps the visible economy humming. In such a book we will see that both men and women are holding the economy together but that the ECONOMICALLY INVISIBLE aspects are mostly provided by women. Such a book, if well-argued, would be true whether the women are wealthy or poor. It would be true both for those who are forced into being stay at home mothers and those who eagerly choose it because they are wealthy enough to afford it. And most importantly, it would be true not just for mothers but for grandmothers and aunts. In other words, it would be true regardless of financial precariousness.
But such a book should not just be filled with stories of women suffering under the heavy financial burden caused by low minimum wage and insufficient welfare. Poverty is an equal opportunity problem. In fact, I bet that if you ask many of the women represented in this book what their problem is they won’t say it is the invisible work they do; they will most probably say it is low wage. They will most probably ask for more safety net rather than ask to have their safety net status removed. If this book were about poverty and low wages, and the author’s suggestion for ameliorating it, it would have been true to its aim. But this is most assuredly not a book about how women (in particular) are America's safety net.
June 9, 2024
Fantastic book that should be required reading in the US. Full of facts intertwined with individual stories giving a face to the data. A masterpiece.
June 14, 2024
I wanted to like this book more than I did. First off, I listened to it as an audiobook. The narrator read it quite fast (I kept looking at my settings to see if I had it playing at the normal speed) and her voice made me think that it must be the author reading, not a professional. It was one of the more unpleasant experiences that I have had with a nonfiction audiobook narrator. I applaud that this book is based on the author's research but because of that, the book often felt like it was more about poverty and women/families finding themselves in bad financial situations. Although women in those situations are absolutely a safety net for their families, I feel like all women, regardless of financial circumstances are a safety net. It took most of the book to get to the few examples of women who have stable careers and finances. I was hoping for a stronger message from this book about how to stop relying on women. Instead, my takeaway was how messed up our social welfare system has become, which I already knew.
June 5, 2024
Honestly my first review I’ve ever written! Tbh I was SO excited for this book!! I preordered in January I was so sure it’d be 5 stars but I feel like this book was marketed as though it would be about the entire social safety net but it is almost exclusively about moms with young children, so would only be accurate if the social safety net was JUST daycare lol. It’s a fine book but if we’re talking about the social safety net we have completely and totally left out community building, taking care of elderly family members and healthcare and educational roles. Mothers with young children of course have difficult lives, but the entire social safety net they are absolutely not.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
July 12, 2024
While I greatly appreciate the context of this book and agree with much of the authors perspectives, I feel that she overstated and cherry-picked some of her statistics in a way that wasn't necessary. The book was well researched and includes detailed footnotes and notes lists, am amazed at the qualitative interview data she and her team gathered and used but I strongly think her quantitative source work could have bolstered support for her conclusions that could go a long way in answering critics.
June 7, 2024
This is an insightful and beautifully written book that makes explicit all of the implicit frustrations and experiences women - esp moms - feel and live every day. It contextualizes all of it with individual stories, historical moments, political and policy perspectives and incredibly accessible language that paints a vivid picture.
Highly recommend. As Gloria Steinem says: the truth shall set you free. But first it will piss you off.
Highly recommend. As Gloria Steinem says: the truth shall set you free. But first it will piss you off.
July 23, 2024
Audio. Must read for all women and also our policy makers. Underlying this book is poverty and how our public policy strives to keep women in poverty. Marriage shouldn’t be a public policy solution.
June 13, 2024
This book is awesome. I was so excited about it and lived up to all of my expectations.
Want to read
June 15, 2024Discussed in this article: https://www.theatlantic.com/books/arc...
June 18, 2024
Allow me to imagine what this book proposes - a strong social safety net, a union of care, solidarity.
June 27, 2024
One of the smartest books I’ve read in awhile. I loved the personal anecdotes in particular.
July 4, 2024
Absolutely fantastic, highly recommend.
July 4, 2024
Calarco writes beautifully about a difficult, uncomfortable topic (gender inequality and care work), and this book is a must read. Her research is well done and important. Highly recommend.
July 8, 2024
For breeders and non-breeders. Such an important read. I hope one day we are able to realize a nation that values caregiving and has a robust safety net.
Displaying 1 - 17 of 17 reviews